<p>mkm56, I don’t have anything useful to add, but wanted to offer my wishes for your son’s quick recovery. Please let us know how it goes! :(</p>
<p>Well, as the mom of another S who had a “disrupted” freshman year (Katrina, then phase-out of his major, then mono-turned-out-not-to-be-mono, then actual mono during exam week so incompletes blah blah blah)… I am sending our good karma your way, mkm56. It worked out in the end for my S and with any leftover good karma we might have headed your way, I hope it will work out for your S, too.</p>
<p>He certainly seems optimistic and forward-moving about the whole thing. Maybe he can’t stop the bad stuff from happening, but that attitude of his is worth a lot. Keep us posted. We are all rooting. :)</p>
<p>Thanks everyone. I requested the local internist and the ENT docs to fax their charts over to the school health clinic so that they would already be on file. I talked with nurse at the U. health clinic and she said that with all the info on file there (3 visits to them) plus any records from home sent pre and post op, that if he should need to do medical withdrawals or even “force” a prof to give extension on labs, tests, etc. the director of clinic will be able to step in. Hope she’s not blowing smoke… and that the system does work as well as she says it does.</p>
<p>I do hate for him to have to drop out as through as this he has worked hard and holds a couple As and a couple Bs. Yes, healthy it might have been higher and easier, but you do hate to lose what you have already done. Guess we’ll wait and see how post op period goes and how much he can get done this next week. </p>
<p>Again, thanks for all the good thoughts.</p>
<p>Hugs from this end! :)</p>
<p>Some advice, from someone who has been there waaayy too many times:
- do not talk to the profs individually. It’s hard to go over their heads, but have your S talk to the dean and have the dean make appropriate arrangements for extensions. I learned that the hard way.<br>
- Drop and re-take courses over the summer. He should take only enough courses so that he can remain a full-time student.
- If he lived in college housing with the mold problem, you need to have a very serious talk with someone high up in administration. They need to keep their dorms in good condition. (If you email, copy the dean of students.)</p>
<p>Hugs to both of you. :(</p>
<p>Hugs to both of you from me, too. I second what ariesathena has said. Once the deans have contacted the individual profs, alternative plans can be discussed. But it is important that whatever plans are suggested by the profs have the okay of the administration since it’s the registrar that’s in charge of transcripts and registration, and the deans who can waive requirements or suggest ways to fulfill them, not the profs. All the profs know is what happens in their own courses.</p>
<p>Yes, now that you have CAT scans and proof that he cannot be functional without surgery, you might coach him through an appt. with the Academic Dean. My experience was that this is non punitive and you may be surprised at how very supportive and constructive administrators can be when illness or family crisis strikes. Your son has managed so well while ill, that you may want to stick it out and keep grades, but incompletes are also options for post surgery research papers etc. Take your time exploring his options and choose what is in his best interests. He will be a new man next fall. We care…this could happen to any of our kids, take it from one of those whose S was felled by mono.</p>
<p>DD was “felled by mono” last spring, a few weeks before finals, too. She ended up being pretty sick, and had to take two incompletes, which she (finally) finished the day (the very day) that she left to spend 5 months in Chile. Her school actually tells students to talk to the professors directly, not the dean, so she did. I took the advice of CC parents and emailed the dean just in case…but the two profs were great and very understanding, and so it really wasn’t necessary. In some ways it is easier if the illness happens right at the end of the semester, since most of the classwork is already done… just finals and papers etc left to do. I hope your son doesn’t get any worse between now and Tuesday! Good luck with your son’s surgery. :)</p>
<p>From doing a little reading deep in the website of school, it looks as if the health director must give the recommendation to the dean for medically excused academic accommodations. I sent an email to him, telling him charts were faxed and updated him on what has happened this semester and the plan for continuing. I asked him to proactively look at everything and get things set up prior to surgery so that son didn’t need to concern himself with these details in post op period. I requested that he respond directly to son.</p>
<p>Hopefully, he will be easy to work with. This is the same doctor I ended up calling when food services would not let son’s roommate bring him food back to the room when he was less than a week post appendectomy and it was pouring rain outside. He was quite apologetic and accommodating that time.</p>
<p>anxiousmom and other parents of past mono sufferers, wouldn’t you think they’d develop a vaccine for that by now? That will probably be next on my son’s list as he is running out of superfluous body parts!</p>
<p>surely your sons sunshine days are ahead of him…mono free! It really isn’t all that common to contract mono…it seems many of us are carriers who never get sick from it or who never knew we had it. Knock on wood! He really has been through a lot this year and is a comer.</p>
<p>mkm56,
What ever happens-do not let him move back into the same dorm room or floor when he goes back to school!!! Hope the surgery, and a NEW dorm will mean the end of his health problems.</p>
<p>Lots of hugs! And now I know that things will get better for him and you. Just a head up - that myth about eating ice cream. I had an emergency tonsillectomy at 30. The phlegm that ice cream causes when you are an adult, is VERY hard to swallow. Load up on popsicles. Much easier to deal with. Also, no straws, the suction can irritate the surgical site. Good luck to you and your son.</p>
<p>I think the dorm room could have certainly set up him for susceptibility for infection. But I believe now room is ok. With all my concerns, environmental health did all their things with clean up and then had industrial health from medical center come in and do a double check on air quality studies. They shared all results and levels of everything were fine except CO2 was high early in morning (that was totally due to 2 boys breathing in such a small room). The ceiling replacement, fungicidal treatments and painting seem to have taken care of mold problem. Evidently there had been, who knows how long ago, an old leak from floor above into ceiling above drop ceiling. The leak was fixed, but ceiling never inspected above the drop panels–that allowed the mold to set up even though at this point there was no active dampness.</p>
<p>Son just called. The director of student health called him and set up appt with dean for him. He said they would do whatever it took to help him work things out. Made him feel much better and less anxious about missing. His lab profs told him today that they would just exempt lab (at least one week of it).</p>
<p>Cyber hugs to you and your son mk. Stay strong…</p>
<p>Quick update to my support group. Son had surgery on the 10th. First 24hrs. were rough, 2-4days not too bad, days 5 & 6 have been pretty rough. He is still not talking (making good use of that dry erase board he refused to hang on dorm door). However, he is determined to return to school tomorrow as he will have missed a full week now. I just hope he can find enough soft/liquid foods to eat there. It’s hard to stock a dorm room frig to survive out of.</p>
<p>Tonsillectomies sure are a lot tougher when you’re 20 than when 5 years old.</p>
<p>mkm56…I have been wondering about your S’s surgery…thanks for the update but sounds like you have been through the mill. Sending you a nice cuppa herbal tea or a big glass of white wine and the opportunity to realize the worst could now be over. May your very determined son (lotsa backbone on display!) enjoy the recovery bounce that sometimes accompanies youth. And if he needs to take an incomplete or get an extension to preserve his health and to give himself time to recover, may he have the perspective to allow himself time to heal. You have shown a lot more equilibrium than I could possibly have managed. TAKE CARE!!! Send us more news…</p>
<p>Well determination alone did not carry him back to school. For anyone who must go through this—day 8 is horrible! Looks as if he will be out the rest of this week, which will make him missing about 8 actual school days. Dean has been nice and has called to check on recovery. I doubt if son ever wants to see jello or chicken broth again (I know I don’t).</p>
<p>mkm:</p>
<p>Cyberhugs to your S! I’ve been on the jello and chicken broth diet a few times, I know how it feels.</p>
<p>mkm56 gosh I am so sorry for all your son and you have been through so far this year. Things are bound to look up now that he has the surgery behind him, dont you think? I freaked out last month just because my freshman D had to weather a course of strep throat ( she and ALL of her suitemates came down with it at once) and what seemed like a long time before the antibiotics kicked in. That now seems like nothing compared to what you have had tossed your way! Please know that we are keeping you and your DS in our thoughts and prayers. Hope he’s able to resume smooth sailing from here on in…</p>
<p>Update. Son returned to school this Monday. He is still having some problem with talking, but is able to eat soft foods. He missed 8 days of class and is presently working out things with professors to get caught up.</p>
<p>For any of you who have a child that may need tonisllectomy–it is an ordeal! He basically spent 10 days in a recliner, with his pain meds, vaporizer, and gatorade (and oh yes, the little bell he rang when he needed me 
).</p>
<p>Sure hope this is our catastrophe for present school year! Thanks for everyone’s support.</p>