<p>“We would be doing that at a LAC, if he had a LAC in his near future. Why not here?”</p>
<p>Exactly.</p>
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<p>I feel the love you have for your son through your words. This is how I would describe my son. Easy going, friendly, caring – everyone likes him. Once, D’11 was talking about how she had a best friend, and S said he didn’t have a best friend, which surprised me. He was 5 and he had tons of friends. He said: if I had a best friend, it would hurt people’s feelings. I bet your son is like that. People skills – you can’t teach it. And it’s invaluable.</p>
<p>Some career paths that might appeal to him: something with a sales element – where he would be rewarded for striking up a rapport, getting people to like him, closing, but not having to do too much paperwork or sitting in meetings.</p>
<p>A career with a heroic, yet finite, “rescue” element – Coast Guard. Firefighter. EMT.</p>
<p>Something concrete – fixing things – I heard of an Otis elevator repairman who made $110k/year. With no college. You can make a decent life on that kind of income.</p>
<p>Good ideas, and a touching post. Thank you.</p>
<p>Just a note on the above: Our public schools have an EMT training program which takes place during the school day. It is not at the vocational-tech school with the other programs but is a great option. I don’t know how common that is but it’s something that can be done during the day, for which he would get credit and that gives kids a great feeling about themselves and good, solid skills.</p>
<p>My nephew, a sweet, happy jock, went into the Coast Guard after high school, and is now in the process of becoming a fireman. More anecdotes, for whatever they are worth, but there are many paths with good outcomes besides college.</p>
<p>I didn’t realize he had a sport, that opens up some options, at least at the D3 level. The D3 coaches can “help” him be admitted and they often have good relationships with the Financial Aid office. My son got great FA and I know the coach had something to do with it. That is something to consider.</p>
<p>Also consider whether he can handle the sport and the athletics. He might be talented enough for higher than D3, but the time required may also increase.</p>
<p>BE CAREFUL of this. At my son’s first school they made a big deal about the team’s GPA and study halls. I thought study hall was mandatory for fresh and low gpa players. Maybe it was just the coach he was assigned to, but it turned out to be a quick check-in of " how is it going, what have you gotten on your tests?" His grades reflected that there was no real study hall going on. If he goes away to D3, be sure to clearly understand the policy. My son’s new school (he transferred) apparently will have study hall in the library for certain hours. Not sure if they monitor exactly what they do there, but they must attend. He has heard this from players, not the coach yet. (only been there 3 weeks-fall sport)</p>
<p>My fist son went to “county” as in “xyz County College” or “xyz Community College” or even “xyz county community college”. The word “county” around here has never conjured up jails or prisons! We drink “soda” and put groceries in “bags”. Our County college has a huge enrollment. I think it is at record highs due to economy and rising tuitions. Kids just say “I go to xyz County”</p>
<p>My point was…S1 went to County College. He also had a girlfriend and a good job with a lot of hours that he didn’t want to give up, so he went on to the closest 4 yr Univ after getting his Associates. He continues in the job and school. I wish I HAD taken him on College visits. I made assumptions for him, and let it go when he didn’t want to take the time to go on visits. I feel that he may have missed out. Maybe if he had developed a desire to go away he would have worked harder in HS to get the grades that would make believe he could be successful away at school. Maybe he would have wanted to go “away” for the second 2 years. He never really got to explore the options because he was lazy and I didn’t push it. It has worked out for him and he doesn’t complain, but I have leftover “what if’s.” I do still believe that his lack of academic work ethic combined with a great desire to party would have been a problem away at school at 18. BUT maybe if he developed a dream school he would have been different.</p>
<p>Take your son, let him know what’s out there. Be sure he knows that these are just looks. Tell him you might not afford it and he might have to wait and transfer there. Tell him his grades have to be good either way. Don’t let him believe for a minute that he can go where he wants just because he wants it, but do give him a goal to work for.</p>
<p>We have told our kids we don’t care if they decide to become electricians, carpenters or whatever, but we’d like them to get their degree first, because someday they might wish they had, and it’s hard to go back and do.</p>
<p>2 more things…if he is only a sophomore, hopefully his friends will grow up and realize that not everybody has buckets of $ or wants loans and that CC is a very wise choice economically. Not sure if you are in NJ or not…but if you are, check out [NJ</a> TRANSFER: Linking New Jersey’s Colleges and Universities](<a href=“http://njtransfer.org/]NJ”>http://njtransfer.org/) The yellow links explain the transfer agreements the CC’s have with the NJ 4-year colleges. If you have the funds you might also offer an agreement that you will give him a generous graduation gift with some of the funds you save by starting at County, or funds you save if he gets any schol $.</p>
<p>Don’t get mad, but did I read that you limit his TV and video games and stuff? I understand he is LD and that might be necessary, but IF he goes away to college he will need to learn to control his own TV and video games, because the RA isn’t going to do it, and neither will his roommate. Not sure how you limit these things, but if you are strict and hovering about it you might want to consider backing off to let him learn to impose his own limits. You can’t wait until the summer before he leaves, you need time to assess whether he would be able to handle being on his own. There are NO LIMITS in the dorms…Obviously you can’t let his grades tank. I’m not saying to suddenly stop being involved, it’s just something to think about as you consider his options. You can have a conversation and let him know that you are removing some restrictions and he has the opportunity to prove himself. Who knows?</p>
<p>Once again, I don’t mean any disrespect, and I have zero experience with LD (though I still wonder if S1 had reading issues…)</p>
<p>OP</p>
<p>I have a very smart 11th grade son who has ADHD (inattentive) and LD issues. Our biggest struggle this year, aside from the organizational issues, is self-esteem. Community College straight out of 12th grade would be a disaster for him. We have a gorgeous CC with a solid teaching staff, however, they do not meet the classroom experience my son needs at this stage. I’ve seen my kid do some amazing things in the last few months. Next year he may be ready for “sleep away” college or CC. Who knows. Stay fluid.</p>
<p>Like you, we have been very forthright with our finances. </p>
<p>I just want to caution you to look beyond what you heard about the CC and look at it in context to your son at a stage closer to attending. If the experience harms his esteem and he still lacks maturity, then he may do poorly just to spite you. </p>
<p>For our family, if son were a senior now, I know it would be the wrong choice. The CC would not help him gain maturity. You don’t know what your son will be like in 2 years. So, IMHO, keep up the talk about the CC, but also consider a gap year and consider allowing him to go through the app process with his peers. The most important thing you can do is continually reinforce that straight road is not necessary. It is difficult when they are in a peer group who has always considered 4 year sleep away as “the only way” instead of one of many ways.</p>
<p>I agree with you on the lower cost third tier schools. What those outside of our region do not realize is the bias against those schools in the job market in our region. I see it time and again in my industry.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t… as someone whose parents actually did this, I would like to warn you that if you do that it is VERY likely that your S will hold out hope that you will change your minds, and then be irate and/or devastated when he realizes it’s not going to happen. Right now he is upset and he will just see college vists as “this is what you are missing.” Wait until he starts at the CC and gets used to the idea that he is there, then start touring colleges for transfer. It will make for a MUCH less rocky attitude adjustment about the CC. For an 18 year old, it’s just too damn hard to tour colleges and know you don’t get to go with the rest of your class-- we’re not that mature yet. At 19 with a semester or two of CC under your belt, it’s a much easier pill to swallow than it is while you’re still in HS and all your friends are talking about going away.</p>
<p>Emaheevul07, I see your point, that he will see what he is missing, but he will also see what he is working for won’t he? I suppose that is the decision the OP will have to make depending on how mature her son can be at considering his options. </p>
<p>My son got so comfortable in the CC and staying home, that he opted to go to the nearby Univ. It’s a good school, so that’s fine, but I wonder if he would have made different decisions if he had been working toward a school he had seen and really wanted to attend. In our state there are agreements between COunty/Commuity College and the State University system, so a decent GPA pretty much guarantees you are in (though there is no definite guarantee). I just wonder if OP’s son would try harder knowing what his goal is.</p>
<p>Probably should wait until spr/summer before Sr year to start visiting. He’ll have SAT scores and junior grades and more maturity. It will give a clearer picture of what is realistic for him compared to now when he might visit schools that aren’t going to happen, or won’t visit schools that he should. This will avoid setting up some disappointments.</p>