<p>@VaBluebird - No… Just my oldest was a baby at the time and in daycare during the day. I thought it would take away too much time from him…</p>
<p>I already fixed what I did worng. I have changed my proffessional field in my mid-30s. Went back to school and have been very happy with this decision. I guess, I should have chosen myanother major when I started first time around. </p>
<p>I have learned a lot from this process with my first daughter and I hope that will make things much easier with my second and third. We are a middle-class NJ family and my eldest had strong but not amazing stats and no hooks. Here are the most important things I’ve learned.</p>
<p>1) Never apply to OOS publics. D applied to 5, was accepted at 4, and only 1 gave her any merit/FA at all (this was U Delaware). In retrospect, we wasted a LOT of money there on visits, app fees, etc.</p>
<p>2) D should have applied to her 1st choice, Smith, ED. Eventually she was admitted off the waitlist with generous FA. It was always her first choice, but we had been warned that we should not apply ED if we needed FA, because then she would be obligated to attend even if we couldn’t afford it. Not true: this varies by school and you need to carefully check, but at most schools, if you apply ED and are accepted, but are not given enough aid to make it work, you can decline without penalty.</p>
<p>3) D applied to 13 schools so as to “cast a wide net” for FA/merit. Mistake. Even with the common app, it’s simply too much work to prepare 13 applications and do a really good job on all of them, because many schools require additional essays, supporting materials, etc. With my younger daughters, I will limit their apps to 8-10 at most, and tell them it’s crucial to do the very best job they can on the essays, interview if at all possible, etc. IMO, this is the best way to get into a school that gives generous FA. We will ultimately be paying much, much less at a top-notch LAC than we would at our in-state public flagship! (Which is also a good school, but did not give D a dime in merit or need-based aid.)</p>
<p>4) Waitlist: We had read many times that a waitlist is, essentially, a denial and to just forget about the W/L school because you’re never getting in. Not true. Some schools do use their waitlist. D was waitlisted at 3 schools, opted to stay on all, but forged ahead with Plan B and didn’t do anything to try to get off the waitlists. Smith actually called her and offered admission! It all worked out in the end, but if D had known she really had a shot, she would have been much more proactive and let Smith know how interested she still was in attending.</p>
<p>I would have matured in my early twenties instead of waiting until my early thirties. ;)</p>
<p>^ LOL…That can sometimes be an issue.</p>
<p>Worry less and enjoy the journey more–the kids are much more “on it” than they let on and things have a way of working out.</p>
<p>Buy tuition insurance when kiddo is going to unexpectedly crash and burn for the term. ;)</p>
<p>Ditto on enjoying the journey more. </p>
<p>Changes to have made? Every action has its consequences. If I had done things differently… my life would have been different. Happier? who knows. There are so many branching points by my age (60). There are reasons for decisions made at the time for every one. Would I have met my husband? Would son have had a better childhood? Would he have gone to a different college? I have had the time to think about this more than once. I can be depressed over the path not taken- would it have turned out any better? Would it have really mattered? </p>
<p>If I really want to change things. What would have happened if my parents had made some changes? Perhaps a more secure/happier childhood would have meant a different approach to colleges and everything else. Again- too much thinking and regrets won’t change my current life or future.</p>
<p>One thing about have lived many decades is that you gain perspectives on life. You finally figure out how you ended up where you are. Personality, opportunities, any other variables. Choice A versus B- the littlest things lead to different paths.</p>
<p>How’s that for being vague? A redo? No way! Just visit your alma mater and walk the campus, spend the night in the dorms… College is for the young. Sure it would be nice to redo things a better way but then you would still have to relive all of the negatives- college papers and exams, parenting yucky stuff…</p>
<p>Maybe reincarnation exists and we live a series of different life experiences. Then maybe someday we get to move on to ??? </p>
<p>I moved from a lower middle income childhood to being able to easily afford so much- still frugal. Specific regrets- not spending more in all sorts of situations since I have plenty of money now to have done so. I’m talking about a marginal existence instead of a normal one. Enough philosophizing. </p>
<p>^ Interesting.</p>
<p>^^ I am still not sure how the tuition insurance works… (A REFUND for dropping out or taking a year off?)</p>