<p>24K for in-state (on top of the student’s loans) sounds high, but that’s immaterial. The posts that really are heart breaking are those of parents beating themselves up for not being able to send their kids to “that dream school”. Please don’t. From what you describe you are financially healthy, but far from affluent. Considering your income, saving 500-800 a month is quite good. But as I think you know, this level of savings is essential for retirement and unexpected expenses (medical, loss of a job etc.). If you commit all of your savings for college, and “make it work” what would happen if you were hit with an unexpected loss of income or expense? I’ve never had to do this, but I can only imagine how terrible it would be to have to tell a child they can’t go back next semester. However, I was a child who had the anxiety of not knowing if I could go back. Not fun. So, here’s another perspective. Your prudence now, could be the best thing for your child.
I think you can appreciate that children play a role in this too. Higher academic performance=more merit aid. I don’t advise anyone to throw that back in their kids face during the discussion. This is something to consider in your mind before being too hard on yourself.
This is heavily debated, but a good starting point to getting merit aid is where the applicant is near the 75th percentile of applicants. Don’t waste an application fee (and time) on schools that will not be generous in the 3.4/1910 range</p>