<p>I know I have told the story before, but my in laws ADORED DHs HS/College girlfriend; when he broke up with her, he was still in college, she was back home working.</p>
<p>They did not let go of her, nor she them, she actually often stayed in his room when he was away at school.</p>
<p>Over the years, they refer to her as their DD, call her kids their grandchildren and had her in the will. I believe they finally removed her from the will, but sheesh. She’s not your daughter.</p>
<p>She is a perfectly nice person and there were many GFs between her time and mine, so no jealousy; it’s just weird on both sides. </p>
<p>Sadly, it has driven a wedge between DH & his parents and they don’t even realize it. There were many occasions which we did not attend when exGF and her family were going as DH did not want to be with her…he broke up with her for a reason ;)</p>
<p>As always, I start from the position of no one is owed anything. If a person wants to leave their money to their cat, well, then that’s that. </p>
<p>Having said that, when my BIL died in his early 20s leaving behind his wife and toddler, my in-laws changed their will so that my BIL’s share of their estate would go to his widow. Decades later they treat her as their daughter, which remains reflected in their will and they also wanted to give her control of the money as it related to their grandchild. </p>
<p>On the other hand, we have my late grandparents who loathed my Dad, so they set their will up that if something happened to my mother, the money would go straight to my sister and I. My mother begged them to put in a trust for us so that we would not wind up flush with cash at 18. They were so paranoid that my father would get a dime of it that they refused. They saw money as a weapon and their will made that very clear.</p>