^^^
Often the difference is whether the merit is from the univ or from a 3rd party. And whether there is any gaps…or if the school has a policy that only a total of X “free money” can come from any source, if any school merit is given.
That said, I think this student first needs to clarify how much the family can pay each year. That income is one that can seem high to the FA calculators, but in reality that family can’t pay nearly that much due to living in an expensive region.
The issue may not be whether $5k or $10 in outside merit will help (and likely those awards would not be that big and likely will ONLY be for frosh year)…the real issue may be that the family will get hit with a $45k+ “family contribution” but only be able to pay $20k-35k…or even less.