Interracial Dating in college

College Confidential Community
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<p>Most of you guys are misguided. There is nothing wrong with liking a certain race for attributes as long as you aren’t blocking out everything else for the sole purpose of race alone. I like asian women because I like the straight, dark hair and dark eyes, but it doesn’t mean I block out everyone else – it’s just a preference. It’s like when someone likes a tall girl or a guy with green eyes. It’s just an attribute we prefer to have but it is not necessarily a prerequisite if another great person comes along that just so happens to be short or possess blue eyes, for example.</p>

<p>If the OP wants to date white women he can put himself in such an environment if he wants a higher chance of something happening there. There’s absolutely no problem with this given he is not saying “I refuse to date another asian woman if the chance arose again.”</p>

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<p>what legendofmax said is completely true. im an asian girl, but ive tended to prefer caucasian males [all happening to be jewish, also. not uncommon, seeing as one of my best friends is the same as me and asian too]. its just a preference that people have. im not nixing out the entire asian [male] race, im just deciding, for myself, that asian guys arent attractive to me. though if i happen to meet one, i wont shoo him away. ;]</p>

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<p>SwordMaiden you should come to Penn :smiley: lol</p>

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<p>lolol =)
well actually, its at the top of my list. =]</p>

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<p>I don’t know, but saying “I will only date Caucasian woman” seems to imply that the OP would never date anyone other than Asian woman doesn’t it? That leaves out all other non-white females. Skin tone doesn’t determine personality, outlook, and interests…which is what I imagine people would be looking for. </p>

<p>Maybe its just me, but if you wouldn’t even consider people from your own race…that raises a red flag. I’m not exactly sure why you would exert energy into having a relationship with another person from a different race if you are so insecure about yourself and your “Asian root”. </p>

<p>This reminds me of some people I know who have their “preferences” in the black community. “I’ll only date those light girls”, “I only date white men/women because I have had it with black males/females”…there is nothing wrong with having a relationship with a person from another race, but if you are involved in one due to insecurities or frustration…what is the point.</p>

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<p>How ironic, since before Asians became the joke of American culture, it was the Jews. Nobody gave Sandy Koufax a shot because he was Jewish, therefore too weak to compete with the “good old boys” of professional baseball. He only turned out to be one of the most dominant pitchers in history. Does that kind of reasoning, that an entire race is too “weak and brainy” to compete in athletics, ring familiar? This only goes to show that there are always these labels of negativity ready to be attached to any group that presents any kind of threat to the dominant one; subsequently the labelled group then gets into a cycle of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Call the blacks dumb and relegate them to the worst schools, and they will believe they are so. Call the Asians weak and bombard them with negative images and deny them positions of power, and they will believe it to be so. There was once a time in American history when German immigrants weren’t considered white, because to be white was to be English. Then the Germans assimilated, and then the Irish and Italians got screwed. Of course, need I mention the blacks and Jews, although the latter have more or less blended into mainstream white society. Then there are the Asians, who are about half-assimilated; there may be a time down the future when Asians are considered white in the societal sense. The big loser in all this is the blacks, upon whom the rest of the America pits itself against. Sometimes, I think America’s adamant refusal to accept a class system has only allowed an even worse system of a racial hierarchy, where it’s white vs. black. Almost everybody, including Italians, Jews, and Asians, can become white, but blacks must remain blacks, because otherwise, the contentious system fails.</p>

<p>Anyway, legendofmax, at least you’re open to the idea, despite your preferences. But there are others out there who absolutely refuse to even consider people of certain races, from white to Asian to black. Then there are the “races” of Hispanics and Muslims, but I won’t get into that. BTW, what do you find unattractive about the Asians you’ve met? I’m not here to be condescending, because whatever you’re about to say, I can probably sympathize. From my experience, way too many Asian guys fall into the stereotype of computer nerds in lame all-AZN groups that repel outsiders with its overt "ethnic"ness. You know, “honger” types. But there are a good handful of Asian guys who, having been born in America (or Canada in my case), are pretty much like any white native and are able to shed the confines of their ethnicity. These guys do absolutely fine with guys and girls of all races.</p>

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<p>well my best friend hates even talking to blacks, and one of my best guy friends is black, personally I think it should be about personality not skin color/race, can you ever chose your race???</p>

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<p>SwordMaiden: Well if you’re ever in the neighborhood, give me a holler :stuck_out_tongue: Haha</p>

<p>Anyways, the truth of the matter is that certain stereotypes do hold true for many cases, but of course nobody will deny that there are exceptions. But really, race is a matter of preference – it is no different from hair color or height, but is it the race we can dislike or the lifestyle associated with it? If you dislike dark skin, fine. If you dislike light hair, fine. But you may be called shallow with unusually skewed/high standards if you throw away the love of your life over something that small if it is obviously outweighed by huge positives. The real problem comes into play when we do not reject because of the race itself but because of stereotypes and illogical generalizations.</p>

<p>When I look for someone to date I usually look for asian girls, I admit this. But as I said before, if someone else of another race has great attributes I would not reject the idea. You have to know what you want and yet understand that all people need to be treated as case-by-case individuals. </p>

<p>What sucks though is that so many people misunderstand the idea of a racial preference. One time I turned down a girl who happened to be hispanic, and a friend said I was being racist. It wasn’t the fact that she was hispanic but rather the fact that there were many other negative attributes about her personality I did not find attractive.</p>

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<p>I made a mistake in my post. I meant to address SwordMaiden, not legendofmax.</p>

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<p>Unfortunately, it’s usually not that simply as something like “orange is my favourite colour”. Almost always, preference for skin colour has stereotypes and illogical generalizations aplenty. For example, I heard in countries like India and the Phillipines, people with light skin are automatically thought as more attractive than beautiful dark people. In an interview, Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria said that as a child, she was thought of as an ugly duckling because she was darker. Just darker, mind you, not ugly as in the arrangement of facial features. Well, look at her and you must be blind to think of her as ugly.</p>

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<p>That’s true to an extent. I mean, one only has to look at the dominance of basketball, football, and sprinting by blacks to realize where that stereotype came form. Or look at the abundance of Asian college students.</p>

<p>But it’s also important to realize how powerful and self-fulfilling stereotypes are. In other words, stereotypes are beget by stereotypes, not by some kind of inherent racial values.</p>

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<p>nbachris: i agree with what you said about how everyone can essentially become white. it’s even a joke among my schoolmates that all the asians here are either “white” or wannabe “blacks,” seemingly becasue they hang out with the quote unquote “ghetto” people of my school. hm. =/</p>

<p>i belive you asked me what i found unattractive in the Asian’s I’ve met. Honestly, living in Florida [and not in the Orlando area], there are few Asian guys around here. Unfortunately, the ones who aren’t overweight are shorter than me, since its a tendency for Asian guys, esp. if they don’t get enough calcium in their system. Otherwise, if they are taller, their personality doesn’t engage me, or they can’t keep up with my humor or language. Also, the Vietnamese community has shows every so often, with music and such, and later on they release them onto DVD format for people to buy. While I watch the videos, sometimes I’ll look at the audience when the camera whips by them, and not one guy in the audience is attractive to me. Perhaps my standards are high, or I have some bias that is just subconciously telling me that they don’t meet my standards. Either way, my parents also agree that attractive asian males are few and far between.</p>

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Y’know… I was gonna stay out of this discussion, but seeing as how swordmaiden enjoys preying on asian males so much, I’d like to throw this question out there as well: What makes you think that asian girls are so hot either? I know you meant well (or at least attempted to), but by the tone of your posts, it seems as if you think that the only ones worthy of you and your friend are white males.</p>

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<p>nbachris: please stop with your philosophical rubbish; most of it drifts onto things that are completely unrelated with the discussion at hand anyways. This so called problem is only skin deep, and has nothing to do with “social hierarchy” or whatever phrase you used to describe it. Asians as a whole are perhaps the most willing to label and stereotype cultures based on single individuals- not as many of them would like to believe, the other way around. This is where the “problem” began</p>

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<p>Why are people yelling? His schlong is only attracted to white girls. So what?</p>

<p>Asian girls = not hot</p>

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<p>Exactly, Junior89. That’s why its hella annoying (and hysterical) when asian girls call asian men ugly</p>

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<p>Who cares? He likes white women. GET OVER IT!</p>

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<p>Haha. You said hella.</p>

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<p>well, i didnt say that, and if it came off that way, im sorry that it did; i didnt mean it like that. i never said asian girls are pretty by any means. im not saying i am, but i mean, im not ugly, either, i know caucasian males who have/do like me. and several people i know have some kind of asian girl thing going on…but thats beside the point. as i said earlier, living in florida doesnt expose me to a lot of asian males. so i dont rule them out. they are in no means “unworthy,” but the ones that i have met haven’t struck me as someone i’d be attracted to. that’s all.</p>

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<p>omg. asian guys you need to date women of other races too! b/c they want you…trust me ;] seriously i know some asian friends who participate in sports and go to parties and they date interracially too…and they even get hit on by white girls, and they accept! wow is that such a radical concept. cuz i think it’s totally natural. it’s natural for physical attraction to be sthing to be out of your control, so why are you using your mind to decide what your heart is saying. don’t analyze which race is better-looking or if you’re not good-looking enough. just give everything a try if it appeals to you.</p>

<p>rejection hurts. but so does complaining…it hurts my ears. rofl. so for like every 10 girls of a non-asian race you ask you might get 2-3 acceptances, if you show off your “cool” traits, like how cute you are or sthing, and the more you look the closer you are to finding that right person for you. ya know, all women don’t like men that are insecure and whiny, so maybe thats why asian women are being “stolen”, maybe you’re the ones that should be doing more “stealing of other races” yourselves, if ya know what i mean. </p>

<p>also, about this “becoming white” phrase…*** does it mean? it seems that ppl seem to equate becoming articulate, outgoing, or culturally aware to becoming white, esp. in my school. like if you start using “big words” or hanging out w/ ppl of all races or going to see baseball games and theatre shows, ppl say you’ve become a “white-wannabe”. as if enjoying american life, and absorbing some of the culture that european immigrants have brought here over hundresds of years is a bad thing. isn’t that the american dream? you fit into all types of cultures, to enjoy life and make lots of friends, and to eventually use yourknowledge to earn money? like *** are ppl casting this as something shameful, like you’re betraying your own race by becoming more american. only by becoming more educated, outgoing, etc. will these minorities be able to integrate into america, will the black ppl rise out of their current status of being low on the socio-economic ladder, will the laws be changed and country progress… do you seriously think speaking ghetto will allow fairer trials in urban areas? or saying “i have asian pride” all day long will allow asians more business opportunities? there’s nothing wrong with “becoming white” if it means you’re becoming more knowledgeable, adapt to america, or am a nicer person. it should be called “becoming american”. adapting into society DOES NOT mean losing your culture, you have to adapt, if you don’t learn to coexist with other humans, then guess what? you’re not going to survive in the real world. assimilation doesnt mean you copy someone’s culture, it means you’re OPEN to change, that you can talk to a white person while eating your rice and still be able to have a meaningful conversation about politics. that you help out in the community, vote in town meetings, watch the news, talk to teachers about school issues, just get involved. assimilation is a necessary and beneficial process. if the black ppl, who as a community have complained about being oppressed, want to rise up, then they must assimilate, begin to think of themselves as successful individuals, not a rap group, or a gang, or something…</p>