<p>Being cheap? I started interviewing for my alma mater 4 years post grad. I was living in a place without a large alum population and I thought it was a nice way of giving back (since I wasn’t in a position to be giving large donations at the time.) The thought that I should have been buying 15-18 kids per season a meal- even in a diner- would have sent me running!!! </p>
<p>FYI - If you are wondering importance of interview (and other factors) for a particular school on your child’s list, , COLLEGEdata website has nice table format. </p>
<p>This example is for Cornell, where interviews are “Considered”, but not “Important” / not “Very Important”. (References are “Very Important”) - <a href=“http://www.collegedata.com/cs/data/college/college_pg02_tmpl.jhtml?schoolId=787”>http://www.collegedata.com/cs/data/college/college_pg02_tmpl.jhtml?schoolId=787</a></p>
<p>Is it a real no-no now to do interviews in one’s home? When D1 was applying to colleges (6 years ago), almost all of her interviews were conducted at someone’s home. </p>
<p>I wonder why people don’t use Skype more for interview. I use it a lot to interview applicants.</p>
<p>jym: I’m with cobrat on this one. Maybe it’s how I was raised as well. In social and business-type situations (which is what I would call a college interview), I would expect the senior to pay for or at least offer to pay for the junior if at all possible. That means I ask the student if he she would like a coffee/tea/soft drink. Often they say no (and I usually will have water already waiting for them). </p>
<p>To answer an earlier question, my daughter had an alum interview in a hotel lobby, and one at alum workplace. Most have been in Starbucks/Panera. In our area, those places are moderately busy and it’s not uncommon to see people you know.</p>
<p>“It is inappropriate for the interviewer to ever purchase food or drink for an applicant.”</p>
<p>I would cut a nervous kid some slack, though. I would advise my kids to get there early and buy their own drink so the issue doesn’t come up, but I wouldn’t think it terribly out of line if I, the more senior person / adult, bought the student a coffee or soft drink or bottled water. A full meal is a bit much, but if I got there, kid was already sitting, and I went to the counter to get my drink, I’d offer to get something for the student, too. I mean, we have to order something - it’s not right to use their facilities without buying something.</p>
<p>“Actually, the reason why I cited diners or pizzerias outside of lunch/dinner periods is because outside of those peak times, there’s plenty of free seating and little business during non-peak times”</p>
<p>It’s not FREE seating, though. Wouldn’t you have to buy at least a beverage to sit there and take up a table? Otherwise, that’s just not nice to a small business owner. For all your harrumphing about how people are brought up and all, it certainly isn’t very well-mannered to walk into a diner, sit down and commandeer the space without buying something.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>PG,</p>
<p>Free there meant they were not being taken by other customers. Not that I wouldn’t expect to buy something. </p>
<p>I’d always pick up something for myself and for whoever I was meeting in an interview situation as that’s how I was raised in my own family and it was reinforced by alum interviewers…especially supervisors/older colleagues. </p>
<p>Especially in a professional context like an interview…don’t want to show the younger/more junior interviewee that I’m cheap. Doesn’t exactly create a good impression of one’s company, college, and oneself. :)</p>
<p>Won’t usually be a full meal…but it would be more than a drink. </p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Technical issues/complications and fear of “new technology” are some major stumbling blocks, especially for those who aren’t technically adept. </p>
<p>Also, some interviewers and interviewees prefer interviewing in person rather than online. </p>
<p>When I did alumni interviews a couple of years back, we were instructed that we could not purchase anything for the student because it might be a violation of NCAA rules if any of our interviewees happened to be recruited athletes. Even if that were not the case, it would have been ridiculous for me, a graduate student, to be expected to be shelling out money to buy food or beverages for a high school kid. It isn’t that I couldn’t have afforded it, but I’m living on a budget, and I was already volunteering my time by doing the interview. Why should I also have been paying for lattes?</p>
<p>exactly, apprenticeprof. And if you buy something for the prospie, it might be seen as some sort of positive indication of something, even though appliants are supposed to understand that for many schools the alum interviews are informational in nature. IT should be a neutral situation with no indication of anytinging that can be misconstrued. And, its being done3 at the request of the applicant and as a courtesy by the alum. As others have said, offering to purchase even starbucks lattes for several applicants can add up. I am happy to donate my time, my gas money, my passion, but stay neutral in this process. To pay for their meal? Sorry its not advised. Can you see (this is just an example- dont jump all over it) the kid going home and telling their friend “oh my interviewer paid for my coffee, and sandwich. That must be a good sign”, and the friend saying “oh my alum didnt do that- I must have screwed up. Oh no, I will be rejected”. </p>
<p>My kids met up with interviewers at Starbucks-type places. The interviewer sometimes offered to buy my S a coffee/tea, but S1 & S2 always declined (or had gotten there early enough to have already bought one). S2 met with a couple for an interview once – he didn’t know it would be two of them, but it turned out to be an excellent interview. The interviewer’s spouse was also an alum of the school and had interests (professional and personal) right up S2’s alley. In that context, the double teaming was useful.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>That’s really odd as most parents I’ve known would have taught their kids well enough to understand that the gesture of treating the interviewee is merely being a good polite host to put the interviewee at ease and to not take anything else from that.</p>
<p>That’s also an odd interpretation as this to me is no different than some job interviews…including some summer jobs during late HS/undergrad where the interviewer did the interview over a small meal…sometimes even as formal as lunch. </p>
<p>Neither I nor most other friends who applied for those summer jobs assumed it was anything more than just being part of their unique interview process. If anything, we were much more worried about whether we’d be negatively scrutinized for our lack of formal dining etiquette knowledge even though we knew the employers/interviewers were aware many of us came from immigrant/lower income backgrounds. </p>
<p>It his hard to explain the subdleties of these dynamics. So will have to leave it at that. </p>
<p>This process is very different than a summer internship interview. When you apply for a summer internship, the company offering the internship is inviting you to their face to face interview and the company, and as their guest, will be paying for the things associated with the face to face interview (travel, hotel, what have you). This is very different from a student initiating/requesting an alum interview and being seen by a volunteer alum. Whats odd is that the differences in these situations is not clear.</p>
<p>If I am in line with the applicant and we are ordering a beverage at the counter, I might ask them if they would like something and offer to have the drinks put on one check. They rarely accept, though. But if I am already at the coffee shop and seated, I will ask if them if they would like something before we begin our chat, but I would not jump up and get it for them. </p>
<p>**ETA If I was in my office I would offer a beverage from the fridge or a cup of coffee, as I would with any other guest at the office. But this is different than buying it for them. I have rarely been in line with them at the same time, and again would offer to pay for both under that circumstance. But if they get their own beverage and come join me at the table, I would not likley get up and offer to pay for them.</p>
<p>Again, will not beat this dead horse any further. </p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I’d chalk it up to differing perceptions and mentoring influences we’ve had. </p>
<p>My extended family and moreso, my supervisors/older colleagues who did alum interviewing would be about as perturbed by your perspective on treating/non-treating interviewees as you are with our practices. </p>
<p>I would suggest they check with their schools to see if the school have a policy about this. This is how we were advised to handle the situation. I would be “perturbed” that your relatives would be “perturbed” by anyone following protocol. They are working as agents for the school. Its not up to them if the school has a policy about this process. They should follow the school’s policy.</p>
<p>And honestly, unless ou wre sitting right there I doubt you really know how they handled this situation. Oh wait- I am sure you often talk about how they handled alumni interviews. It never comes up in my conversations with colleagues. </p>
<p>I was not a fan of these interviews when S was in the thick of them, precisely because of all the confusing issues raised in this thread. S is not timid, but was uncomfortable with the home interviews. First, one was 50 minutes from our house in an area of the state he had never been to. Back then, we did not have GPS or smart phones, so making the trip added to the stress level. (Maybe some parents would have accompanied their child, but that seemed like a bad idea if the goal is to impress the interviewer with the student’s maturity and independence. Also, it was in winter way out in a rural area, so it was not as though mom could go wait somewhere other than outside in the cold car). Then there was the power dynamic of being completely on the interviewer’s turf. In addition, the presence of other family members was distracting. In one case, the interviewer and his wife were arguing, and in another, the alum brought his own son into the room and used my S as an example, eg. " See Johnny, S did X. You need to do that too." </p>
<p>Meeting at a restaurant brings up all the concerns of when and whether to order something, who should pay, and does the student really want to add table manners into the mix. What if he bumps his drink, or has a crumb around his mouth the whole time he’s trying to sell himself?</p>
<p>This sounds a lot like mummom’s objections in that thread, where she described going to a rural area and ducking down in her car so the interviewer wouldn’t see her, as opposed to the common sense of finding a coffee shop or other area to sit in for the duration. Anyway, if someone lives 50 miles away not accessible by public transportation, of <em>course</em> the interviewer knows or figures that if the student didn’t drive himself, that a parent drove him. That doesn’t reflect negatively on the student’s “maturity and independence.” Not everyone has access to a car. </p>
<p>I will note that if a student is uncomfortable being 50 minutes from his own house though, how is he going to handle being potentially a lot further away at school? </p>
<p>I agree that interviewer / wife arguments and using son as a teaching example are inappropriate!</p>
<p>cobrat - you keep talking about the reactions of your extended family as though they have weight with us, or as though we should think twice if we hear that your extended family wouldn’t like or do something. I recognize that what your extended family thinks carries tons of weight with you – probably more than it should – but what they think isn’t meaningful to the rest of us. </p>
<p>It seems to me that every scenario described makes some people more comfortable, and others less comfortable. I continue to think that if you believe you have the stuff to succeed at an Ivy League school, you should have the stuff to deal with any of these situations, barring something really inappropriate.</p>
<p>My S had one interview at our house. I brought them tea, and bowed out. They talked for an hour and a half! He had others at the alums’ houses. One of them was an hour’s drive away in a rural area. I drove him there, since he didn’t have a license. Not only that, but the driveway was a quarter of a mile long through the woods, hilly, and covered in ice. I was afraid to drive in for fear of getting stuck, so I dropped him at the road and he walked in. I have no idea whether the guy offered him refreshment–I would hope so, it is only polite with a guest in one’s home–but when he found out that S played the violin and he had an instrument from a luthier they both knew, he pulled out the violin and handed it to S to play something. Talk about pressure! I can see some of the people here bitterly complaining that the interviewer put him on the spot. Luckily, S simply played part of the concerto he was working on at the time, from memory. (And yeah, after driving around a little I just went back and waited at the end of the drive. The guy drove S out and told me I had done a great job. 
) He enjoyed this interview and all of the home interviews much more than the strained 30 minutes in a coffee shop.</p>
<p>Whenever this subject comes up I am amazed at how paranoid and ill at ease with others so many kids–and parents–seem to be.</p>