<p>You Guys. I. Despise. You. Guys. Despise.</p>
<p>English desperately needs a second-person plural pronoun, but “you guys” is not the right answer. I would rather adopt the Southern “you all,” which at least has historical provenance, than “you guys.” I find it especially inappropriate directed to a group of females, when “you guys” grates on my ears in two ways at once.</p>
<p>Just. Say. No.</p>
<p>Y’all better listen to WashDad. He sounds serious.</p>
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</p>
<p>My daughter suggests that this is in contrast to a minor decapitation, which is the decapitation of someone under the age of 18.</p>
<p>Or a captain decapitation?</p>
<p>Where I work, we spend a lot of time “finalizing.” When a decision or policy or strategy is finalized, that means we are tired of talking about it and within a short time we will be doing something totally different.</p>
<p>We also spend a lot of time talking about “Thebottomline.” I am not sure who he is, but apparently he works in accounting and needs money because he is not very healthy.</p>
<p>We also spend a lot of time talking about “budgets.” This gets really complicated since there are at least three kinds: capital, HR and expenses. The “capital” budget just means we can’t buy anything that costs a lot of money. The “HR” budget means that if anyone gets a raise that guy in accounting is not going to have enough money for his bad health. The expense budget is really confusing. Apparently this has nothing to do with actually spending money, but involves some sort of drug therapy called “accrual” which that sick guy in accounting needs. I guess it is some sort of prescription drug because if he uses too much of it he could go to jail.</p>
<p>We use some other words which don’t make sense until someone explains the real meaning:</p>
<p>“Teamwork” This doesn’t actually involve a team or working. It just means you agree with what ever your boss says and you nod your head up and down in meetings.</p>
<p>“Meeting” You don’t actually “meet” anyone, at least you don’t meet anyone new. This means you sit in a circle and listen to your boss talk. The best time is right after lunch. That way your get a little rest and by the time your boss stops talking it is too late in the day to worry about doing anything else.</p>
<p>Six Sigma This is some sort of martial arts group. They don’t actually fight but they talk in tongues. Once in a long while you might recognize some actual word like “fishbone”, but you won’t actually see one.</p>
<p>Lean Management This is another phrase used by those Six Sigma people. It has nothing to do with being thin or managing. It has to do with finding the laziest way to do something without leaving out too many really important steps. I almost forgot it also has something to do with spaghetti, but that is kinda like the fishbone. Don’t plan on seeing any pasta at a lean management meeting.</p>
<p>Enough about the business world. It is time to review some college related terms.</p>
<p>“Fit” This is one of my favorites. I am big on three letter words with a lot of meaning. “Fit” means you saw some pictures or visited the campus and some kids were having a good time playing frisbee on the quad and the buildings looked nice. Watch out if you try to use this word. “Having a fit” means something entirely different. That is more like what happens when your kid is admitted and then finds out that the quad is under snow for the entire school year.</p>
<p>Selective This is opposite of what you might think. Selective means they DON’T select you for admission. Very selective means almost no one is admitted.</p>
<p>College Tour This means you spend a lot of time driving to visit schools. A student will take you to the quad. If no one is playing frisbee, you might as well go home.</p>
<p>College interview You meet someone who went to that college years ago. Don’t worry. No one will ever know or care what you talked about.</p>
<p>Academic rigor This means you will only get a B grade for attending class and you will need to do some of the assignments in order to get an A.</p>
<p>Party school At most schools you will need to drink and/or do drugs from Thursday night through Sunday. At a party school you will need to put in at least a couple of more evenings.</p>
<p>Y’uns: Short for you-ones, and the Pittsburgh version on y’all. I think I like “you guys” better.</p>
<p>edad - Wow, great definitions. I can’t pick out a favorite.</p>
<p>prioritize
marginalize</p>
<p>“it wasn’t too bad of a storm”</p>
<p>growing a business</p>
<p>(already cited) bacteria/criteria used as singular nouns</p>
<p>Someone should make this thread required reading for all newscasters, who are among the worst offenders in the rhetorical-tic department.</p>
<p>Oops. There’s probably somebody out there for whom “department” is a hackneyed catchall. Is there anyone among us so pure as to never fall prey to a lazy habit of speech (or to split an infinitive on occasion)?</p>
<p>No. We are all perfect.</p>
<p>When anybody pronounces immature as “immatour” (like how you say the word tour). Oh, and also pronouncing supposedly as “supposevly”… What the hell is that?</p>
<p>Someone has brought up “basically,” and while I am usually fine with people saying that word, it is annoying when it is used to state something definite. For example, I recently came across a post on another forum:</p>
<p>“Well I am basically 18 years old.”</p>
<p>^^but usually, I act like an 8 year old.</p>
<p>I found out that Webster’s word of the year in 2007 is “w00t.” Yes, those are two zeros in there. </p>
<p>W00t! W00t! I prefer truthiness.</p>
<p>I think Colbert has patented Truthiness, or he should.</p>
<p>TallSon informs me that the sell-by date on “w00t” was in 2005.</p>
<p>I guess Webster’s needs to move some stinky old words off its shelves. I think the Word of the Year is chosen in an online survey. Truthiness won in 2006.</p>
<p>w00t upside down is t00m. This has nothing to do with rhetorical tics.</p>
<p>People claiming that they’re having an “ADD moment,” however, does.</p>
<p>edad, I rarely read posts out loud to my husband (he doesn’t really understand the CC culture), but we both just spent several minutes laughing at your post. This definitely deserves a classic writing award.</p>
<p>
I’m sure he’s right as this over 50 year old has used it. DH on the other hand, never heard of it when we discussed it a few months ago over dinner. DH doesn’t know any of the Internet lingo.</p>
<p>Yesterday I heard the following message while on hold:</p>
<p>“We do our best to SERVICE our customers.” </p>
<p>HELP!
I don’t want to be “serviced”–especially by the Waste Management guys.</p>
<p>Another one that bugs me is when agencies that work with the disabled (I have several handicapped relatives) refer to the disabled people as “consumers.” I’ll hear things like, “There was an incident involving two consumers.” Or “One consumer said X to another consumer.” Why can’t they be called clients, customers, patients, students, patrons or something more respectful?</p>
<p>(Consumers reminds me of “useless eaters”).</p>