The goal of counseling or therapy isn’t necessarily “happiness.” Gaining functionality is also an important goal. You are resisting, but what would be the harm in your at least trying to talk with a counselor before deciding what to do? You have lots of different options, but right now it seems you aren’t really able to think clearly about either your current situation or the path going forward. A good counselor might be able to help, whether or not you are actually depressed.