You seem to have an answer for every piece of advice/commentary that anyone has offered so far, and it seems like it will be very difficult for you to get back on track if you refuse to take anyone’s advice into consideration for even a moment. I’m not sure what you’re wanting to hear, but I think you need to at least consider what everyone is telling you.
It sounds like you are either depressed or have had your spirit knocked down considerably. Either way, you really need to seek out help wherever you can find it. There are resources available to you, especially if you remain in school. You need to be proactive seek them out.