<p>People confuse quantity of time with quality of time. My Mom is a quality person, my MIL is a quantity person. </p>
<p>If your folks are quantity people, then expect to be there bright and early for breakfast and stay until the 11 O Clock news. If they are quality than there will be no issue.</p>
<p>Bullet and I spent 20 yrs never living closer than 4 hours car ride. The one thing I learned is that it caused us strife within our own marriage because we dreaded the quantity time. It really was you spent 10 hrs 22 mins at pima’s house I want 10 hrs and 22 mins. They lost sight of the fact that we also spent 2 days traveling to and from, plus kenneling dogs and cats. It became a resentment issue. Don’t let it be that for you.</p>
<p>Nip it in the bud now, and say, we need our space. If you do it even for 1 yr, you will be expected to continue this tradition.</p>
<p>We love our DS very very much, but I have already told Bullet when DS1 gets commissioned into the AF (18 mos from now), we will never stay in his home, we will always stay in a hotel…caveat if we go to help out for the birth of a grandbaby, just so we can wake up at night when it cries, but after that we are back in a hotel.</p>
<p>Unfortunately too many people picture Norman Rockwell holidays and when they do all it becomes is screaming because parents forget they are no longer their children in the sense they use to be, now they are your children with their children. They are their own family.</p>
<p>Talk it out, but be the adult and stay in the hotel because everything you said of why you want to stay in a hotel makes perfect common sense.</p>
<p>Keep in mind, you can get som GREAT deals staying in hotels on Christmas. You might have a wonderful time a a nearby hotel at a great rate!! What a deal!</p>
<p>Some grandparents really cherish their young (and not so young) grandkids and kids staying over, having them jump into their bed in the morning, fixing breakfast while everyone is still in PJs, tucking the kids into bed at night with a bed time story( or one on one talk). We had two bedrooms and a bathroom shared with just our kids when visiting relatives which did make it comfortable. I’m not sure how much privacy or comfort I’d have been willing to sacrifice if that hadn’t been the case, since we could always have stayed in a nearby hotel. My guess is a “reasonable” amount , although I think I’d draw the line at a really uncomfortable bed. As in so many of these things, there is no right way - it depends on the circumstances, the flexibility of family members, the relationship and the wishes and expectations of the families. I will say - many of the older generation seemed much more adaptable than we are. Hotels were not an option!</p>
15 in one house?? There’s only one word I’d use to describe how I’d feel: relieved! I got over 15 in one house at my last sleepover in high school! Too old for that now. (Of course, it’s easy for me to say - I have one kid, and she’s unattached!)</p>
<p>My folks’ house would have 15-16, plus dogs…we started getting a hotel (REALLY cheap in my parents’ town) and they were a little miffed at first, but between the allergies, lumpy ancient mattresses and parents/sibs who cannot sleep without multiple TVs blaring, we were on total sensory overload and needed an escape. </p>
<p>My parents are now relieved, as my mom is bedridden and lives in the living room. She was not taking some of her meds while we were there so as to cause less difficulties with so many people in the house. They have finally seen the benefits of less disruption.</p>
<p>We are the only ones who can afford to stay elsewhere, so we just do it and get out of the way. We’re there 11-11 anyways and usually bring fresh Krispy Kremes when we arrive.</p>
<p>Cousins tend to congregate at my sister’s house for overnights, which is only a mile away.</p>
<p>I am a firm believer in quality time over quantity. My in-laws have a small, older home (one bathroom) which is also cluttered with lots of junk and several cats. When we visit MIL as a family, we always stay in hotel (son and I have major allergies). We are well-rested, can escape for a little alone time, have our own bathroom, and have pool, spa and workout facilities. We pop over to MIL’s house for meals and visiting. I’m sure she was a little upset at first, but the allergy excuse was something she couldn’t argue against. Now, when H visits his parents by himself, he has no excuse to stay in hotel, but invariably comes home tired and cranky. I say, “Whatever makes the most people the most comfortable.”</p>