I was told the same; however, from what I recall and have seen, plenty of men wore button down shirts/collard shirts and chubbies type shorts or their regular shirts with shorts. Girls wore their dresses or shorts with regular type shirts. It’s hot, but it’s not that hot. If people wore athletic wear it was probably most likely a cotton T-shirt or some tennis shoes, but no one looked like they were heading to the gym.
But I do agree with others, this is a regional and a generational thing. H is in the fashion business and D is a classical artist who dresses the part so the closets in our house are full of a wide range of clothing. I dress very casually and need my arm twisted to actually put on a dress. Ultimately I gave up caring what others wear long ago and I never let it get my knickers in a twist. And you kids can play on my lawn any day of the week.
my two daughters love cute little dresses. They definately would have packed one for a trip, perhaps not for the college campus, but to go out to dinner, absolutely. We were just in NYC last weekend and D found a nice $4.00 dress at H & M.
My kids would have worn clothes this casual for college orientation, but if they new they knew they were going out to eat with us or all of us and other adults they would have brought a change of clothes. They just grew up watching us “clean up” if we were going out to eat, even if it was the local Thai or pizza joint. I think for many, many people it just doesn’t matter anymore.
Did this person know beforehand that dinner would be on the schedule? To me the OP sounded like a spontaneous event.
I am a casual person and not frumpy, but Nike track shorts and a tshirt would not be acceptable “go to dinner with friends of the parents” attire in my book. Nike track shorts are not the kind of shorts that are OK for dinner at the Thai restaurant. But- whatever. Not your kid…
You didn’t just say casual, you said really casual. If she was trying to pack light, I can completely understand how she would only take shorts and t-shirts to a college and I am surprised that some think that is an inappropriate choice for a college orientation. My son is at a school in San Diego and shorts and t-shirts are the clothes of choice there. Heck, the instructors are in shorts and t-shirts half the time. My girls wore a lot of casual dresses when they were in college and it seemed they always looked a bit over-dressed when I saw them compared to other kids on campus. Maybe it’s a regional thing, but where we live, her attire would have been fine in many restaurants around our area.
If you were talking to the parents, I could definitely see only the “They said really casual” part being passed along to the daughter. Perhaps they expected her to know what you meant. 
My D only wears tee-shirts and gym shorts for hanging around the house or to the gym or band camp. I do see many other teens around here, though, dressed that way when eating out, and I find it inappropriate. I guess I’m old-fashioned. I try to be live and let live, but I think it’s nice to have some sense of decorum…
and I guess I passed that on to D. My husband is fairly formal, too. His casual clothes - short-sleeved button down shirts and khaki shorts - are often better at what I’ve seen people wear recently to weddings. No kidding.
Btw, did this girl wear only nike shorts and a tee to the orientation? If so -
I guess I just really like clothes and dressing up, I don’t understand that at all.
I’m still stuck on someone for whom “really casual” means “nice pants” and felt the need to change the dinner plans because of the D’s interpretation of “really casual”. My D is taking a class this week at a large college in WA, where it’s been unseasonably warm for 3 weeks now. When we dropped her off, nearly everyone there was in shorts and tee shirts. They weren’t running shorts for the most part, and they WERE told to bring nice clothes for their end-of-week presentations, but I don’t blame them for the shorts and tees for a second. Frankly, I think we’ve all been buttoned up a little too long.
i
I am really hoping that khaki shorts and a t is the dress code for the college DS picks! If not, we will have to buy him an entire wardrobe before he leaves for school.
However, my kids know to throw a nicer outfit (including the shoes) in when we travel since others may make plans that require it. Regional definitions of “casual” vary considerably.
I find this so interesting. In the foreign countries I have traveled to, people of all ages seem to dress more formally than we do in the States–at least in the cities. It can be very nice to see.
I agree - I’m also stuck on how “really casual” translates to a sundress, or how “nice pants” are a step down from that.
“Nice pants” are what I wear when I go to the office of my fanciest client. “Really casual” is what I wear when I don’t anticipate seeing anyone I know (and I’d usually put on something slightly nicer to go to any restaurant where someone brings me my food, but mostly because restaurants are kept colder than my house).
@SouthernHope
I agree with you. There were so many graduations and dinner occasions this summer that I went shopping with my 19 yr old daughter to buy a few dresses to wear when going out when meeting family or friends. She bought maxi dresses and some skirts with nice blouses that she could wear to work or to an evening out. From childhood I made sure she was dressed up when meeting family or going out to dinner. She prefers dresses to shorts and a t shirt. Most of her friends dress up when they meet for dinner. (sundress or maxi dress) My nieces in middle school tend to dress up for an evening out even if it is casual. For guys khaki pants and a polo shirt. This seems to be the norm here.
One of the colleges in our area is quite preppy. I have been told at games its boys in ties and girls in pearls.
The last time I went into a Thai restaurant, I was wearing sweatpants and a hoodie (having just come from a freezing cold movie theater).
They were happy to take my money anyway, and it didn’t even occur to me to be embarrassed.
But then, I grew up in a family where Thanksgiving dinner was served on paper plates.
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I guess everyone should wear what they are comfortable wearing. Growing up I wasn’t allowed to wear shorts and in catholic school we had a uniform.
I think one takeaway from this should be that if somebody asks you what the “dress code” is for an event or for a restaurant, you should be very specific if you care what they wear. I have been underdressed a few times, and it embarrassed me.
As for kids, agree that they need to understand that in some contexts, what they wear does matter.
I feel you, raclut. Growing up I wasn’t allowed to wear loungewear or pajamas out of the house. I remember some of the very few days I wore sweats to school and one of those was to an AP exam. 
I agree with you, Hunt. When I’m invited places I really like specifics or some outline when it comes to dress codes for events and the like.
My son works for a Silicon Valley startup.
On the company’s Web site, there’s a photo of a group of the employees in the office. There’s also a photo of a group of the employees on a company outing – a hike in a national park.
Not only are they wearing the same style of clothing in the two pictures, some of them are wearing the exact same garments.
I actually see the reverse among young people. I think they are getting more dressed up than they used to. Girls are wearing cute dresses. The compression short/leggings look seems to be fading, thankfully.