Deja vu. Takes me back to all the threads of the past where attire or “What’s appropriate…” discussions took place.
Anywho, I don’t believe passing on the gym shorts is the equivalent to opting for a tux instead. :-/
Funny, my mother sent our girls some book about manners, should the Queen invite you.
I’m much more bothered by the way some folks here dress for the theater. Bafflingly casual. Since most of the performances are in winter, I’ve seen sweats, etc.
There’s your problem…
I do think kids often dress more casually than I would like, but “really casual” to me might make me think shorts and t-shirt were fine. I on the other hand only dress like that for fast food chains, I’d be wearing capris and a nice t-shirt or casual blouse. I’d certainly have something in my suitcase “just in case”, though I think she was fine for a summer college orientation. It’s hot! Thai restaurants don’t scream dress down to me - the last one I went to was pretty upscale.
I’ve got one kid who wears shorts and sandals all summer. The other one after a year in Jordan nearly always wears a button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up. And the only girl friend in the picture wears dresses nearly all the time so I never have to worry about her!
Given that the young person in question is female, I think the tux would be an interesting option.
The dorms where my son went to college were not air conditioned…and that is where you stayed during orientation. Yep…shorts and Ts were what he took. He had no reason for anything nicer.
DD always travels with something more on the business casual side. But that’s just her style.
OTOH, if my kids knew they were being taken out to dinner…both would have packed one somewhat nicer outfit.
Dressy linen Bermuda shorts? Who owns those? Not any college ages student I know!
When my DD and I visited East Coast colleges, we were surprised how dressy the boys dressed - khakis and button down shirts. Not many kids in Arizona wear button down shirts (unless it’s a uniform requirement). You can get away with shorts and a “polo” shirt at even nice restaurants in town. That said, only packing gym clothes seems short sighted. You never know if you are going to go to dinner or something will come up.
Of course, there can be a huge variation in what people mean when they say “business casual”.
Continuing education conferences in my profession specify “business casual; no jeans.” Attendees at the last national conference I went to wore everything from Tshirts and cargo shorts to suits, with the largest group of men in slacks and button-down (buttons on the collar) shirts.
@phoenixmomof2 HA! I bought my daughter a button down (which technically meets her dress code) and it hung in her closet like I’d given her a scuba suit or something.
When you say “really” casual by no means would I assume a sundress or nice pants. Really casual to me is shorts and a T-shirt, flip flops. Maybe that’s the California girl in me.
It took a lot of travelling before my kids were adept at packing for a trip on their own and truly being prepared for a variety of scenarios. We had a lot of having no pajamas, being cold because they didn’t think they’d need a sweater, being embarrassed in a decent restaurant wearing sweats, etc.
As to orientation wear, bringing some gym shorts and comfy Tees isn’t a bad idea. My D’s school had a big game night ice-breaker where they played all sorts of crazy, physical games. It wasn’t announced so D was grateful she had her shorts and a t-shirt. There was no meeting of professors. They dealt almost entirely with other students. D’s campus is pretty preppy so kids were dressed very nice but gym shorts and tees are standard uniform at our local universities. If that is what this girl was used to in high school, I imagine she didn’t want to be embarrassed by being over-dressed at the orientation.
Speaking of regional differences – I’m always amused when I go to the east coast and see men wearing shorts, boat shoes (no socks) with… a button down shirt w the sleeves rolled up. You don’t see button down shirts with shorts in the west much. (Except when worn by visiting/ex easterners.)
When someone says “Really casual” in response to “what’s the dress code?” I don’t think of any dress of any sort, not even casual dresses… I think T-shirts and shorts, maybe not Nike shorts but it could be pretty close.
As for college orientation, T-shirts and shorts in the summer are fine. To be honest, some faculty aren’t that much better dressed. Summer is the down time and things are more casual, including dress. Will there be girls wearing dresses at the orientation? Very likely but there will also be girls wearing shorts and T-shirts. Hopefully, the kids are less rigid in their outlook and are okay with a range of styles.
I agree that your mistake was using the word “really.” I’m a totally casual person and hate dressing up, but I don’t think running shorts are appropriate for anything except sports. Most people look a lot better with a little more coverage, and most places are freezing because of the AC anyway. A longer pair of shorts would’ve made a difference, I think. Wearing a “nicer” t-shirt and decent jeans/slacks (not faded/ripped) and any shoes other than flip flops or tennis shoes is dressing up to me. Can’t imagine my kids going on any kind of trip like orientation without at least one pair of long pants or casual skirt “just in case.”
S (26) always dresses up for work and he has noticed that people treat him a lot better when, for example, he runs errands after work–people call him “sir”/compliment him on his clothes, etc. He gets a kick out of that. Maybe it’s my imagination, but I’ve noticed that I get better customer service if I just change from tennis shoes to dressier shoes–still wearing the same jeans/t-shirt.
I would not equate really casual with a sundress or nice long pants so maybe that’s where the mixup occurred. To me, that’s on the dressier side of casual. However, I have to say I am surprised kids would attend meetings, briefings, etc. at college orientation in what I would call workout clothes. My son’s orientation last summer (large university in the northeast) certainly didn’t involve dressy clothes like pearls or nice long pants but everyone seemed neatly and attractively attired in response to the school’s direction to dress comfortably and casually. The student body comes from all over the US and world so I’m not sure how everyone knew to interpret the clothing suggestion similarly.
Think American Eagle - twill shorts, polos, button downs, sperrys, and nice ts and henleys for the boys, short shorts, mini and maxi skirts/dresses, tanks, cute flats, etc for the girls. A girl wearing Nike shorts would have definitely stuck out. Which is fine - each to her own - as long as she was comfortable being so underdressed compared to the norm.
Sorry but gym shorts aren’t appropriate in any restaurant, outside of fast food joints. I probably would have said nice casual if asked what to wear. IME, designating a place as “really casual” would result in some people showing up looking like they just washed the car AND the dog.
Nocook, I suspect the clothing you daw was more about the school itself than what kids typically wear at orientation. I went to a large NE college 35 years ago and most everyone wore shorts and tee shirts because of the hazy, hot and humid weather. Probably not the same school.
I have a brother who never dresses up. Never. He wears shorts most of the year and jeans when it is below zero and snowing. He wears shorts to hockey games. He’s never cold. Anyway, he doesn’t want to be invited to any restaurant where he can’t wear what he always wears. He wore shorts to his daughter’s wedding (she okay’d it) and the red shirt she requested. He knows he’s giving up some opportunities to go to fancier restaurants. Doesn’t care.
OP worked it out with her guests. They switched restaurants, but I bet the daughter would have been fine at the Thai restaurant too.
I like to dress up a little when I go to church or to restaurants or to the theater. Last Saturday I went to the theater and my choices were casual pants or dressier dress. I went with ‘dress’ and regret it because that meant shoes and they were new and I have two horrible blisters on my heels. Should have gone more casual and worn my regular shoes. Most people were dressed up, but I saw several in shorts. In the west, anything goes.
I have one kid who I always send back to put on something so it looks like you care. It is a struggle. If we use the word restaurant, I expect at least nice jeans and a nice t shirt.