Thank you for all the advice for those who genuinely wanted to help. I completely ripped apart the essay myself before I looked back at this. It is completely different now so plz NO MORE POSTS. Thank you to @bjkmom @Emme12 @BrownParent and @GPencil for the advice, even though it is not applicable anymore. @bodangles I think for some reason you took this essay really personally for some reason or something…? I’m kind of confused on your surplus of interest and I think you need to find some hobbies… Sure, it was a stupid essay probably caused by my lack of sleep and procrastination. I wrote it in not even half an hour. As if I would ever send it to an adcom… You were far too astringent in your response. I scrapped the essay before I saw it, but I just want to let you know you were not very helpful. Thanks for trying though I guess