For those telling me to move, this girl is actually my best friend and I’m not going to do that, it is not a problem often enough to need to move or anything. I think I’m gonna be blunt with her about how she can’t expect us to bear the weight of her ADHD and she has to do something about it. She can’t expect us to prioritize her over ourselves. I have a whole text written out because I’m bad at in person confrontation but after the conversation earlier today I feel like she’s still not going to understand the problem. It just pisses me off because earlier she said “I love y’all but I’m not buying noise cancelling headphones, those are expensive.” Yet she is honestly pretty rich and bought $250 jeans just last week. I want to tell her to rent a hotel room for her exams if she needs silence but she’d never do it.
Another funny thing, she is going to live in a sorority house next year with either one roommate or 3 roommates. I feel bad for those people already, at least I don’t have to share a room with her but they will. She thinks she could be fine in a 4 person room but it’s honestly going to be comical for me to see her realize she can’t make everyone bend over backwards to meet her needs.
Hmm… she doesn’t sound like a best friend to you.
If she slams cabinet doors and makes noise at night while your roommate is sleeping or disturbs you, and thinks not much of it BUT thinks its ok to ask you not to turn on the faucet while cooking… that’s not how “best” friends treat each other.
And yes, if she can afford jeans, she can afford the headsets… IF this is really such an important issue to her. Does not seem she is making the effort to really “solve” her problem and instead, taking advantage of you and your roommate’s goodwill or whatever you may want to call it, because she can. You are right, she cannot expect you to prioritize her over yourselves, especially performing daily routine functions.
But it’s good that you know her then and something can be worked out. Your hotel is a good idea. Maybe her family can help pay for it.
Have you told her yet she’s being unreasonable? Her unwillingness to contribute her own self-care is unacceptable. Is there a reason she won’t get headphones? Does she have tactile sensitivity to and can’t tolerate something on or in her ears? If so the idea about the white noise machine is a good one. She hast to take ownership of her part in taking care of her needs. Expecting others to tiptoe around her because of her attentional issues is unreasonable. Good luck
Honestly, this sounds a bit more than just ADHD. Since she’s your best friend, you’ve probably known her for quite some time. Has she always been this rigid in thought or routine? Does she hyperfocus on certain topics? Does she ever have episodes of emotional outbursts which seem out of proportion to the situation? Has she displayed “unreasonableness” in the past? Trying to get an idea of the whole picture of her personality.