<p>I used to be very frugal, having grown up poorish as an immigrant, but now have become quite erratic in terms of what I do/don’t spend money on. Would look downright schizophrenic if someone analyzed it. Saw a purse I wanted at TJMaxx (pink leather with purple suede), didn’t buy it, decided I wanted it but it was gone, found it online for twice the price. Haunted eBay until I got it for something close to the TJMaxx price. Spent hours on the project. But then, I don’t think twice about spending twice the price of the purse on a dinner. With alcohol. Go figure.</p>
<p>When I was a poor medical Resident, I used to moonlight (working 80+hours/week apparently wasn’t enough) and make $1000/24hr shift. I would then treat myself to something I wanted, but wouldn’t normally buy, with part of that money. One month it was an Eddie Bauer Goretex shell, another month it was nice leather boots etc. So maybe that’s where my feast/famine habit comes from. </p>
<p>In some ways, I feel like my bouts of frugality is a handicap at times that can paralyze me. I actually am actively trying to not pass it on to my kids. Fortunately, neither of them have expensive tastes and are appreciative of the expensive iComputer, the iDoodads, and the Uggs (bought on sale of course) that they get.</p>
<p>No lawn service, snow plowing or trash pickup for us. We have a tractor and snow blower which have paid for themselves. Trips to the dump are often a social occasion and a scavenger hunt.</p>
<p>“Is there anything expensive that you can afford but don’t buy?” - Sure. That habit has allowed us to have plenty savings and can afford to splurge on a selective basis.</p>
<p>If there are any Kharmin Ghia fans in NY (Hudson Valley)… please PM hints for my dad to sell his old Ghias/parts.</p>
<p>We also don’t pay for yard service or housecleaner. I haven’t yet splurged for any e-readers or laptops or tablets, other than my iPad mini and belkin keyboard (which I LOVE). Sometimes feel it’s just too much to learn all the ins and outs of all the tech anyway.</p>
<p>One thing I’ve learned after 30+ years in medicine is that one should never count on there being a ‘one day.’ </p>
<p>Minor hijack: </p>
<p>We were updating our will last week and telling the lawyer what we wanted if both DH and I should die. He kept saying ‘well, you know that’s very unlikely.’ I finally said to him, “yes I know, but the most likely cause of my death is a car accident, and in that case, there is a significant likelihood that DH would also be in the car. The whole point of doing a will is to be prepared in the event of my/our unexpected death(s).” He finally shut up and started writing.</p>
<p>Back to OP: I think if it’s something I really want, I will buy it. If not, I don’t buy it just because I can.</p>
<p>I live for the moment. It is why I’ve traveled so much, even when kids were infants. I think people travel differently at different stages of their lives. I still remember when H and I took our first European trip (just London really), we didn’t have have that much money, so we ate a lot of fish and chips. We also went to HKG on very low budget, but it was great fun. As time went on, we’ve moved from 2 stars to 5 stars hotels, we’ve also become less spontaneous, everything is more planned. Now I get very annoyed when hotels do not meet my expectations or food is not up to par. There are places where we have gone back many times and they feel different each time we go back. I am glad we didn’t wait to experience. I figure we only live once.</p>
<p>"One thing I’ve learned after 30+ years in medicine is that one should never count on there being a ‘one day.’ "</p>
<p>Amen to that. My mom died at 65, younger than I think I can retire according to the planners. Because I MIGHT live to 85 or 90. The last thing she ( mom; not the planners) said to me was something about lamenting.</p>
<p>We do travel for longer and do more of the things either of us feels strongly about. My sis-IL was only a few years older than H when she died. Before then, she had been the picture of health, traveling regularly to far flung places, practicing dentistry, hiking, getting together with many friends and acquaintances, going to all the movies she wanted. She lived a full life, but helped forcibly remind us that no one knows when it will be their last day. We are all glad she did so much and traveled pretty much everywhere as often as she wanted to, so there weren’t a lot of regrets or many things left on any ‘bucket list.’</p>
<p>We do have an estate plan and our attorney is working on it with for us to finish transferring things into the trusts that he created at our direction. We’re a bit slow, but getting it done slowly but surely.</p>
<p>My great uncle died at 107 and dad will be turning 90 very soon (extremely healthy still), with mom not far behind. It is important to strike a balance between living for today and saving for tomorrow, especially when longevity is in the genes.</p>
<p>My Mom died at age 55 and my grandmother at 42. I’ve outlived both of them. Fortunately, my mother lived a very full life. I am doing the same but not excessively so.
My children promised that they would take care of us should money run out.</p>
<p>Growing up with very frugal (actually stingy) parents who were immigrants and always figured the worst would happen didn’t cause me to be particularly frugal. In fact, I think I purposely don’t want to live like they did–always obsessing about money and always commenting on how everything is so expensive. My folks were good people but they found it difficult to enjoy life because they were too busy worrying about saving money, even when they got to the point where they were fairly comfortable.</p>
<p>If I really want something, I won’t deprive myself. But, the other night we were out to dinner and they wanted 50 for crab legs. I don’t know why this just bugged me. I won’t pay that much for crab legs even though I love them. Five years ago caviar passed a price where I no longer think it is “worth it.” </p>
<p>I won’t buy a range rover for the same reason. It’s not worth it to me even though I like the car. </p>
<p>This is a new thing with me, though, this sometimes running into things I think are just not worth the price. It’s interesting now that I think about it, but it’s not about wanting to save money as just finding that something is overpriced… to me.</p>
<p>I don’t spend a lot for clothes or shoes. I like the samples stores or Loehmanns. I a I need someone to take me out and dress me. I also dont spend a lot on makeup,and it shows :(</p>
<p>Poetgirl,
Yes, I won’t pay for things I COULD buy if it seems overpriced, to me as well. I guess it depends on how overpriced it is and how much I want or am ambivalent about the particular item. We may buy an expensive sofa, but I’m hoping we have a lot of daily enjoyment and use from it, so it will be worth it for us. We shall see.</p>
<p>Getting good quality at a price I feel is fair is important to me, as it is to H and our kids. Works for us.</p>
<p>I appreciate exceptional quality in most things - houses, furniture, clothing, shoes etc. But my taste runs towards classic so if I purchase something, I “appreciate” it to death. I don’t own excess clothing, but what i do own I really like and wear season after season. I am not one to constantly re-decorate as I love the pieces I have purchased over the years. Although I own a luxury car, it has almost 165,000 miles on it. I have maintained it so it looks almost new. I guess I have no problem spending money on anything that is very good quality, and that I know I will get a lot of utility from.</p>
<p>The one thing we could afford but I refuse to purchase is a second home. I do not want all the upkeep and maintenance in the “off season”. My parents own a beach house that we use often, and I like the freedom to change our vacation plans from year to year.</p>
<p>DH and I decided long ago that education and travel were priorities. We have not cut expenses on education but, with travel, we’re more the Marriott/Hyatt type rather than the Fairmont/Ritz Carlton type. Just can’t get behind the logic of paying top dollar for a rented room where we just spend our sleeping hours. Both with the kids and just the two of us, we’ve been fortunate to see much of the world.</p>
<p>I am very frugal, though. With almost everything, my motto is “I want what I want; I just want to pay less for it”. I will research extensively and wait as long as I need to to buy things at the right price. For example, I discovered awhile ago that I really do prefer certain designer jeans but I wait until I find the right sale–have never paid more than $60 for jeans that retail for $160+. DH doesn’t think this way and thinks I can be somewhat foolish with some of this.</p>
<p>I think time is money. I remember many years ago when we first bought a house and there were things to be done. I wanted to wait because I didn’t feel comfortable in spending the money then even though we had the money in the bank. My dad said to me, “If you know you are going to do it at some point, why not do it now rather than later. You’ll have longer time to enjoy it if you do it now.”</p>
Had it for 2-3 years and sold it for the exact price I bought it for.</p>