Thank you to those with helpful advice. I am puzzled as to why anyone thinks I am controlling her or telling her what to write; per my question, I am giving her a suggestion because she asked for one. She does have super grades, excellent ECs and the rest…but is struggling with this very important topic and I am only trying to help. Never said I was writing the essay telling her what to write…just came here for some friendly feedback on what admissions thinks about topics such as these. Sorry to see it was taken out of context.