I didn’t know happy hours were a common thing!
He knows several people who have been there awhile and he was recruited so he knew what the culture there was already.
I just hope he’s happy in new job.
If I were OP I would have gently asked this employee if he had followed proper protocol to get time off. I had mentors when I first started out. I always appreciated their guidance. I don’t understand why people are telling OP to mind her own business.
I think my department is quite relaxed (“chill” might be an overstatement) but part of that is that my coworkers and I generally try to be open with each other. I don’t expect to be told if someone’s leave is paid or unpaid or approved or not approved. I probably should have taken the initiative to discuss with the specific coworker his plans ahead of time, just in the context of “how would you like us to help you with current projects?” He doesn’t welcome guidance, though, so the training and mentoring have been uncomfortable at times.
I have been a mentor to many younger employees over the years (not in business). I went over things like union guidelines, district handbook, district policies, etc…when the employee was hired. I was very there to clarify any questions.
But if I had a personnel issue, I went to the administrator who was really in charge. As. Coworker, it was not my place to police what another coworker was doing. But I could point out concerns to administration.
If it was something minor, no problem…but anything that could,be deemed a possible issue for job performance or possible reprimand was not my place to deal with.
This situation as presented by @rosered55 sounds a bit awkward.
Maybe it’s just a misunderstanding between what this employee has been told he can or can’t do…and what the others think should be the case.
And I appreciate all the perspectives and suggestions. CC rocks!
But I do not think it’s a generational thing!!
I had a child a long time ago. There weren’t family leave practices. I took 5 months—and got paid for them. There were valid reasons for me to take longer than usual.
My ex H really pushed me to find out before I went into labor how much the company would pay for. I refused. Said it would be better if the company had the idea that how long I would be paid would not affect when I returned to work. It’s one of the few arguments I ever won. As I said…I took 5 months and I got paid for all of it.
Then another pregnant woman marched into the equivalent of HR and demanded to know the company’s “policy.” Company had no policy…but now it felt cornered to have one and came up with 6 weeks. Several other women in the office who were pregnant were really unhappy because they knew that I and other women got paid a lot longer.
That’s a long winded way of saying that maybe the young man DID investigate and knows the policy. However, he was determined to take the time off even if he didn’t qualify for it. He also may know he’s not entitled to part time work, but wants to work part time. He might just announce this intention and hope he can work it out, even though he isn’t entitled under the Family Medical Leave Act.
If a young employee told me his/her plans and I thought there might be an issue, I would ask them if that was signed off by his/her boss and/or by HR, and if they said yes, leave it at that (or if they didn’t respond, let it go, too). Every environment is different, some companies have ironclad rules that are enforced to the Nth degree, others formally or informally allow managers to work out things with their employees. I have had employees who faced a situation where a parent overseas was in critical condition and they needed to get home, and I worked out something with them where part of the time was vacation and part of the time they were working remotely (which obviously means I had a lot of trust in the employee, that they wouldn’t leave me high and dry), I got what I needed out of them and they got to handle a tough situation, it was a win win for them, myself and the company. Maybe the employee had a deal with those that hired him to allow him to do this along these lines (I would be surprised, though, that someone so new and raw would get that kind of a deal, but who knows?).
As far as being a Gen whatever thing,I doubt it, I have been hearing horror stories about the young people coming into the workplace, how they don’t want to work, etc, pretty much since I have been working, and I have learned not to trust the generalities I have heard thrown out there. It could be, as claimed, that the Millenials are more mindful of work-life balance, that they want a better quality of life outside work, etc, and maybe they seek out places that will allow them to do that, but the workplace has a way of weeding people who are deluded out, and the young people I see hired are not much different than I was when I started working, I don’t see many deluded kids thinking the world owed them a living or who assume they are king of the hill, most tend to put their head down and try and be accepted by their colleagues and bosses.
“I had mentors when I first started out. I always appreciated their guidance. I don’t understand why people are telling OP to mind her own business.”
“He doesn’t welcome guidance, though, so the training and mentoring have been uncomfortable at times.”
I think there is a difference between a mentor and a fellow employee helping train a new hire and get him up to speed. It seems to me that the relationship between OP and coworker falls into the latter category. The guy seems reticent to share and be open. Given that and given it is an HR matter, I’d leave it to the boss/HR to worry about and figure out.
that is not good corporate etiquette and unfair to colleagues. Find out what the plan is for coverage. That will alert mgt he’s out and plans to do PT if they did not know. If they know, it will force them to make a plan for coverage at least!
Ok I amend what I said earlier based on subsequent posts. I thought the OP knew he hadn’t cleared this with HR. (In hindsight, yes, that shouldn’t have made sense to me since those things are private.)
I still maintain that millenials do talk about anticipated things like this when considering taking a job and whatnot. It is important to many of us and we’re demanding, to the extent possible, more work/life balance.
I think work-life balance is very important, for my coworkers as well as myself. But I think it’s easier to attain if we communicate openly with each other.
Yes, I don’t get that either. If I suspected that a coworker might not have followed proper procedures and could get himself in trouble, or end up in a bad situation, of course I would kindly offer advice. Like hey, if you haven’t cleared that through HR, make sure and do it so you get the time off (or pay, or whatever). Especially a new employee or young guy who might not know. Why would I just MYOB and potentially let him screw things up for himself? I’ve gotten plenty of great advice over the years, and would hope people would help guide my children in the workplace.
Of course helping coworkers is every bodies business, not just the bosses. 
It’s perfectly acceptable for the OP to ask her supervisor if the baby daddy’s leave will impact her work load so she can plan accordingly.
Perhaps he plans to take intermittent leave under FMLA and is calling this part time work.
In my workplace, someone planning to take paternity leave would be talking about it all.the.time. My husband has had a number of coworkers take time off in the past year - they all discussed who would be taking over during the leave and what critical items could come up. This was all open and above-board and worked out with the manager, lead, and colleagues.
A true medical leave is something else & I wouldn’t expect to know what the reasons are. The work load still has to be distributed and if possible, coordinated with coworkers prior to the leave. This is what I did when I was out for surgery and radiation. It goes a long way in ensuring that the workplace is a happy one.
I did hear of someone this past year who decided to take paternity leave. This overlapped with a retirement date and another coworker asked the retiree-to-be if they’d change their last date at work to accommodate. That was definitely a management problem. (No, the date wasn’t changed.)
My close coworker and I spent part of today starting to coordinate 2017 vacation plans. Coverage is important no matter when or for what reason someone is off work.
I’ve had several female millennial employees who have become pregnant and had children while working for my company. All carefully checked the rules and got advice (we have a small company and the office manager is also the HR person). The only one who made sweeping assumptions was an Ivy MBA who repeatedly assumed that we would have the same policies and benefits as her prior employer, a huge European-based multinational. She learned that small US companies don’t match mega-European companies for maternity benefits and her only major ask was to pay for a service that her old employer paid for to ship breast milk back when traveling or something like that (which I paid for, knowing that I would have to offer it to others if they travel while breastfeeding)… So, I’m not sure that this is a generational thing but an expectational thing.
I get what OP is asking about. If there is work not getting done bc coworker is absent, I would want to know that management was aware of situation.
If no one is talking about how this absent coworker’s work is getting done, what happens when deadlines are missed, clients are unhappy, etc. Could this come back to bite OP somehow, if management assumed OP or new boss has taken care of covering all work assignments?
I would approach it from that standpoint, asking if there has their been a discussion of how to redistribute coworkers job assignments during his absence and shift to part time work. I might just skip coworker and ask management about the situation, since coworker may or may not give full honest answers.
As a loyal worker, I always try to go above and beyond to make sure my employer is taking good care of customers/clients. But if another coworker is just slacking off and dropping the ball and assuming I will cover and do their work in addition to mine, I would be frustrated.
Framing this as a question of “what is expected of me during his absence” keeps OP from butting into the whole family leave issue, but someone needs to figure out how to cover all the job assignments.
it has nothing to do with his generation (x,millennial etc…) it has to do with his own personality.
but, I think the real question you have is it ok to resent him.
he is a new employee and now he is going to be out and the extra work falls on you. you did not ask him to have a child and while we all say maternity leave is an awesome idea, when we pick up the slack for a co worker we get upset. this is normal. it is human nature.
I do HR and I have employees who monitor other co-worker’s vacation time to make sure they get nothing extra over them. it drives me nuts. first off my company is super flexible and second you get plenty of paid vacation…but they still need to make sure nobody one ups them.
but if the guy is new and now on maternity leave and will follow that with part time status …i do not see him at your job for very long.
Paternity…maternity is usually covered by short term disability, leaving an employer to decide how much more than 6 weeks they want to cover. (Assuming the state requires st disability). Paternity is 100% on the employer.
It bothers me less as a coworker or manager than it does as a mom who got the standard 6 week pkg 20 years ago. Now many dads even get more!
One more thing that the U.S. is behind much of the rest of the Western world in providing.