<p>SmithieandProud, i too was impressed by your post in response to me, and to others. and i absolutely love your explanation of your personal reasons for choosing Smith. i applied to more than one woman’s college and i have actually been considering starting a thread along the lines of “convince me to go to smith! (if i am lucky enough to be accepted)” the problem i’ve been having is that while Smith seems like the PERFECT school for me, I visited last summer and i was less than enchanted. i would hate to disregard a gut feeling like that, but everything else about the school is exactly what i want. luckily, if i am accepted im pretty sure my parents will let me visit again to help with that final decision. but SmithieandProud, your post definitely made me want to go to Smith even more than I already do!!</p>
<p>I agree with S&P in every post on this thread. She is right on many aspects. I am a former Smithie (but still is at heart). I will be honest with you. I grew up in a rural community and in a wealthy suburban town where conservative dominates the politics and there are basically NO gay people. So coming to Smith was a very big shock for me (despite having a gay uncle with a wonderful partner that I adore dearly). As you said, those teenage years are very formative on the identtiy and I found myself questioning a lot about who I was.</p>
<p>I thought that homosexual relationships would be just as low key about PDA as heterosexuals at Smith. I was wrong. I did feel that the whole gay/sexuality issue was “in my face” because the women in my house and some of my classes were very expressive of their identity and sexuality. They’re not afraid to make jokes (and half the time, it’s hard to tell if they really meant it or not) about thier “lovers.” They’re not afraid to dye their hair bright blue. They’re not afraid to pierce their lip. They’re not afraid to do anything that would cause skepticism from the outsider because as S&P said, Smith is a safe place, a safe haven. It’s a BUBBLE. Though I did have concerns about whether these women, with their identity, would “make it in the real world” but my experience in Israel where I solidfied my Jewish identity made me realize that it’s that “safe place” where you can experiment that makes you a much stronger person. Smith is a wonderful place where women felt “trapped” in high school with cliques and trends can go to find their own identity and strengthen that over the course of four years. It’s such a diverse campus that Smithies will never know what kind of person they will graduate as.</p>
<p>Though my culture shock had a powerful impact on me, my experience at Smith (albiet short) changed the way I look at the world around me and how I seek out people to be friends with. I am much more respectful and tolerable of people with different sexual orientation and backgrounds. I couldn’t care less as long they’re happy. Whatever flies for them will fly by me too. My parents still struggle with the gay issue but as I told my mom as I left Smith for the last time, “Okay so what if you think these two girls dress sloppy or have messy rooms? Or have girlfriends? It’s the beauty inside them that counts.” Smith taught me to look beyond my judgments/prejudices to find what that person really has to offer in hand of friendship. By being able to look at the world like this, I have opened up my hand of friendship to more people who wants to be my friend. Everyone needs a little attention but it just takes at least one person to notice them for who they are, but not what they look like or their sexual or religion preferences. Everybody notices each othat Smith. Your D will be watched by and cared for by her friends, her housemates, the kitchen staff, and everyone else on campus. Even when I felt all alone, a housemate would keep me company until I felt better.</p>
<p>It’s what women’s colleges are all about: Providing a safe haven where women can develop their own identities including sexuality because there are no men around to make the women feel that they have to conform to the society’s norms to please them. What do you want for your D?</p>
<p>Not only that, the vocal segment on campus demonstrated what can be accomplished if you go about doing something instead of being passive. From these voices, I learned to become much more proactive for my own needs that has served me VERY well in the last three years, especially in the last two or three weeks as I am now under a second review by top graduate schools for a MA spot instead of a total rejection. Even my old boyfriend learned to listen to me instead of taking charge to figure out what I want. He realized that he would be putting up with a lot of crap from me and actually didn’t mind it because that is who I am. Your D may not have to conform or listen to the issues brought on the big talkers of the campus but she can most certainly take an example of what can be accomplished if she speaks out and stands up for herself. Would you like to see your D to take on a more proactive role on her personal and academic life? Especially in her relationships?</p>
<p>I will most definitely stress S&P’s point that Smith is NOT for everyone. It takes a special kind of student to survive four years. My friends weren’t angry when I chose to transfer out- they knew that i was very unhappy in general and I deserved to go somewhere where I could be happy. It’s a tough place that produces strong, smart women with opinions. Your D most definitely should visit and TALK with the students from ALL over the campus, not just in a certain area (different housing communities tend to attract some kind of stereotypes). Talk to a couple of Smithies yourself and with the professors and see what they think of the student body. But ultimately, it’s up to your D if she can see herself fitting in there.</p>
<p>If anything, even if your D winds up transferring out, Smith will have taught her a LOT in only one year that will follow her for the rest of her life. It’s a real privilege to be there and I am always thankful. I have no regrets for being there in my first year. Even though that $45K cost is “ouch” but the experience is priceless.</p>
<p>Why did you leave? Were you homesick? Were the academics not quite right? You haven’t said.</p>
<p>I’ll say one thing that remains true between now and then- I moved out because the history department sucked. They were losing funding to the sciences and financial aid. Just not the top of Smith’s list of priorities. So I moved somewhere else where there was money. And I haven’t regretted it.</p>
<p>I don’t think my D knows one history major. Isn’t government the most popular major? Lots of art history, english, economics, engineering and pre-med types, too.<br>
I think that Smith publishes the number of grads in each major in their course catalog, so it’s possible to judge the size of each dept. I think that reviewing the course catalog at any school that you’re considering is a good idea, since the breadth of courses in depts. vary widely at each school. My D has had no problem getting into her top choices; at some schools this is near-impossible until you’re an upperclassman.<br>
Another good question to ask when you’re visiting/considering schools.</p>
<p>I have read those same remarks about Smith on the ************** website–this is a college review system that’s basically comprised of student reviews as the sole source of information… so when you get a remark about a girl getting grabbed at a party, she’s speaking only for herself. It’s important to take that website/book in particular with a pinch of salt, because one student’s opinion is cited as if it’s fact!</p>
<p>Merely out of curiosity, does sexuality have any effect on rooming situations?</p>
<p>Everyone is my D’s house has a single, and it seems that Smith does have a much larger percent of single rooms than most other schools.
My D did have a form to fill out with special requests, habits, preferences, etc. when she applied for housing, though “sexuality” was not one of the questions.</p>
<p>As a mom who spent some time at Smith, I’m thinking the gay issue was so not a concern when I went there, even tho there were plenty of lesbians/bi women in attendance. Bigger concerns were – living in dorms built at the turn of the century w/cranky radiators, male professors with inflated egos, rich kids that had never driven a car (chaffeurs) or had a job, classes with discussion so esoterical I needed a translator, and worrying about the girl I knew who was bulimic. I loved my time at Smith, even with those concerns. Women who love women are generally very cool & non-threatening in my experience. Good luck to your daughter, wherever she ends up.</p>
<p>there is a number os gay students attending smith college and i know this because my cousin went there. but depending on how much of a problem it is, it varies for different people. but i don’t think its a factor in determining room mates.</p>
<p>If you’re not tolerant of gay people, Smith is a bad fit for you. </p>
<p>Otoh, the incidence of inappropriate behavior are a <em>lot</em> lower at Smith than at most co-ed schools…I’ve heard of exactly one over the past five years and the transgressor was severely punished (expelled?). Yeah, it gives a slightly different flavor to the “drama” but “drama” is everywhere. </p>
<p>Otoh, you can find the bathroom having a sign on the door flipped to indicate a male is inside taking a shower.</p>
<p>There’s a lot of stuff “out there” about gays & Smith and most of it is overblown and misleading, balanced out by a few who want to desperately pretend that it’s not an issue at all.</p>