My youngest has a horse and pays a lot of bills via check. In her mind a truck is for pulling your horse trailer. My son on the other hand is not so skilled. The first time he had to write a rent check he signed his signature in the ite section. He also did was @MomofWildChild coworker did and printed the address of the recipient where the stamp goes. Watching him write checks is painful. I want to just take the pen and fill them out and just have him sign them.
We had a cleaning person once a week when my kids were growing up. They all know how to straighten up but they were all very weak in actual cleaning skills.
Two of my kids can’t write in cursive. They both have learning disabilities and it was something that didn’t come natural to them. I remember with my S being concerned enough to ask his teacher in elementary school. She told me that they weren’t so concerned about penmanship any longer as they focused on the kids keyboard skills.
You could also watch a youtube video showing how to change a tire (solutions for several of the skills noted so far in this thread can be found with a quick online search). But to me there is a benefit to actually changing a tire rather that just reading how to do it (or watching someone else do it) and in a situation that isn’t an emergency, on the side of the highway, in the rain, etc.
I have never had a vehicle which didn’t have a spare tire. At some point seems likely I will have one that doesn’t have a spare tire. Given the relative infrequency of flat tires now (seemed somewhat common as a kid growing up), seems like its more psychological than real.
First week of college, got a call from Goskid #1 asking which buttons to push on washing machine. We’d gone over at home, but the buttons were different on school machine.
Had to text Goskid #2 photo sample of how to fill out check for off campus apartment.
Goskid #2 also called us 3000 miles away to find out what should be done about the water flowing out from under refrigerator…said all the paper towels had been used, but to no avail…
That being said…they are both magicians on what they can do with their phones that I would need major tutorial for…
Same here for D19. FaceTimed me when she was down in the laundry room and had me walk her through things. I do rely on her for all things tech, music, and urban dictionary stuff.
It’s not just your kid. On those rare occasions when I send a letter via US Mail I have to think for a minute on where to put the stamp. It helps if I put the return address sticker on first. I have been know to address envelopes upside down, which only becomes apparent when the envelope is flipped over. Writing a check is also a challenge because it is done so rarely. The challenge is multiplied if the amount includes the number 40. Do you spell that with a “u”? oh, but that just doesn’t look right!
I asked my son to throw the rugs in the laundry. I buy cheaper detergent for the rugs only and I specifically told him to use the liquid detergent, not the pods. I came home to bleached rugs. “You said liquid.” He was 17.
I was a SAHM, so I felt the kid’s jobs were to go to school and do well; when they were older, the worked during the summer. I always did the house work and laundry, although the kids were expected to pick up after themselves. Let’s just say, I was/am anal about how the laundry is done, so don’t let anyone else do it!
Summer before freshman year of college for my son, I taught him about laundry. I typed a multi page list of tips and tricks specific to his clothing- red polo does not go in with t-shirts, towels washed alone, how to use stain removers, how much detergent and fabric softener, etc… Once we got to his dorm and saw the machines, we adapted the directions to include how to operate the machines. Two of his female friends, who are still dear friends 17 years later, have told me multiple times how those directions saved them, and their clothes Freshman year as they had no clue how to do laundry!
As my husband’s older sister had no clue how to balance a checkbook, we made sure to teach our kids. At the age of 15 they both got a credit card and checking account in their own name, and were responsible for them; I think we sat with them the first few years to make sure the registry was balanced and credit card was paid on time. During college my daughter called whining that the bank charge her $35 in overdraft fees. I asked did she write a check without enough money in her account? She said yes, but it wasn’t fair that they took $35 out of her account. She never in her 32 years ever paid an overdraft fee; lesson learned! One other time she had service charge added to her credit card account as she didn’t pay the bill in full; she said the statement said she only had to pay $25! Again, lesson learned and as far as I know, still pays in balance in full every month.
I think life skills vary with generations, but healthy cooking is an important skill.
I agree it goes both ways. I am not as tech savvy as young people. I thought Venmo was a video thing.
In most of the world, driving a stick IS a life skill, so both of our kids learned. (I had to learn from my husband; I felt stupid and vowed I wouldn’t do that to my kids.)
I’m sure there are old world skills my kids haven’t ever done - sewing a button comes to mind - but they can certainly figure it out. After all, that’s what YouTube is for.
As my son figured out when he realized he had to tie his tie and neither my husband and I were around.
I guess I’m coming from a different place with the manual transmission comment- no one in my family will be traveling abroad, that’s never going to be in the budget, so it’s not a consideration for us. Knowing how to navigate public transportation is waaay more important to us.
I made my daughter learn most basic life skills while growing up. But for some reason she claimed she couldn’t sew on a button. Fast forward many years and what is she now? A surgeon with excellent stitching skills. Really?
I learned how to change a tire way back when I was learning to drive. However, I think it’s one of those things that if you’ve never then had to do it again, you aren’t going to remember. About 6 years ago, I got a flat tire in my SUV at 10pm at night. Of course, Dh was out of town so I called USAA. Fortunately I was leaving dinner with friends at a large shopping/condo complex that had private security so I was able to wait safely. There is NO way I would ever have been able to figure out how to get my tire off. For one, the spare is underneath my car. The guy was laying on his back underneath my car. Additionally, apparently I have some sort of locking lug nuts that require a special key (fortunately it was in my glove compartment but I gave him a blank look when he asked where it was). It took him quite a while to change the tire and this is his profession!
I learned to drive on a stick shift and the first car I bought myself was stick but until a couple of years ago, we have always had automatic cars. Dh now has a manual transmission Jeep Wrangler. So far, only one of our licensed kids has learned to drive it. You would think he’d be dying to drive it in the summer but he’s only driven as far as the 2 mile drive out of our community to pick up his brother. Now that there are five drivers and three cars between us, I’m guessing he’s going to be more willing to take that car if he wants to go somewhere.
My oldest actually learned to type in middle school when her school required iPads for all students. For some reason, that lesson was dropped from the curriculum by the time, 2 yrs later, my next kid got to middle school. He’s a freshman in college now and just recently asked if he could take a typing class so that he can type correctly/faster. My younger two also hunt and peck so I’ll probably look for some way for them all to learn. My oldest just used some program on her computer.
I forget who above mentioned not learning to knit b/c she’s a lefty. I grew up a righty in a family of lefties! And now I have two lefty kids while the rest of us are right handed. You don’t realize just how many things that can affect. Growing up I couldn’t peel potatoes n/c the blade was dull on that side if the peeler from my lefty parents using it. We always had an electric can opener b/c can openers are designed for right handed folks. I don’t have an electric can opener so I have to open things for my kids. Scissors are another source of annoyance.
I will say that all four of my kids do their own laundry, not because I forced them to (except for one when he gave me attitude about something not being clean when he wanted to wear it). Occasionally my son will text me to ask about washing/drying something specific but I guess he figured out how to use the machines on his own.
Our kids went to overnight camp. They likely addressed and stamped 100’s of letters. No issue there. Neither I nor my husband have ever or will ever change a tire. Nor would we ever want a kid to do so. We know 2 people who had catastrophic injuries from changing a tire on a busy roadway. My mom has a rotary dial phone so they had experienced that. They hadn’t written a check til recently. They both googled it. It took approximately 90 seconds to get the info they needed. No need for this to be ever taught by parents the few times necessary.
D2 lived in a townhouse with 7 other people in her senior year—she was the only one who knew how to plunge a toilet. That said, when she recently put snow tires on her car that she has had for over 3 years, she was flummoxed when the tire place asked her if she wanted the tires aligned. She thought they were trying to rip her off. Luckily she hasn’t put much mileage on the car!
Not only can my kids not write in cursive, they can’t read it. But imo that’s not my fault, it’s the school’s.
If you learned how to change a tire on a car, the other thing that would have shocked you are how heavy most SUV tires are. I’m strong for a woman but when I went to change a tire on my SUV, it was the weight of the tire that was the problem. Trying to hold it in place with one arm while keeping it aligned with the holes for the lug nuts for long enough to use my other hand to get a lug nut started was just about impossible. Just a guess, but I suspect my SUV tires are about twice as heavy as any of the sedan tires I’d changed before… brutal.
Our present cars are the first ones we have which are automatic. However, D19 never took to driving, and doesn’t really even have much interest in getting her licence, much less learn how to drive manual transmission. She does know how to change a tire, since both my wife and I have done it in front of her a number of times.
However, many people I know, of my age, older or younger, don’t really know how to change a tire. At my last job, I changed a tire on a one of the very large SUVs while out in the field, and went back to my survey, and then was told that I should have ended the work day right there, since evidently a flat and changing a tire was considered something major. It is pretty simple, though, like changing your car battery.
On the other hand, I’m not sure that my daughter knows how to use a gas pump.
She knows her way around the kitchen, but that was more because her friend group was into cooking and baking. She also took a couple of cooking classes at middle and high school (sorry, “Culinary Arts”). She was never interested in cooking when I was trying to teach her. She destroyed my wife’s moka pot, though, since she thought that the and the coffee water go in the top part.
She likely doesn’t know how to write a check, but she knows how to use electronic checks, Venmo, and her debit card. I think that she know how to address a letter and where to put a stamp since they taught it in school, and she had to send a large number of paper thank you notes after her Bat Mitzvah.
On the other hand, my kid freaked out the first time she had to make her first doctor’s appointment, from finding the right doctor, making sure that she had the insurance information, etc. It didn’t help that the insurance then charged her for something she didn’t do, just to make sure that she enjoyed the complete American Healthcare Experience…
She does not know how to use a sewing machine or to drill a hole in the wall + put in an anchor.
I don’t think that anybody today who is younger than 40 knows how to replace a fuse wire.
@merlin2020 I had penmanship in elementary school. My D did through 3rd grade and then they stopped! I continued with the education at home (how do you sign a check if you can’t write your name in cursive??), but her handwriting is atrocious.
This happened when my kids were in grade school. I don’t remember what grade my daughter was in when it happened, but I was so embarrassed when she had no idea what an iron was. It may have been a spelling or a vocabulary test, but she had never seen me use one and was so confused.
Years later I remember feeling a sense of relief when Monopoly dropped the iron. Lol.
And FWIW I still don’t use an iron…and both of my kids use a steamer or go to the dry cleaners.
Reading this I also realize I didn’t teach my kids about the perils of bleach and colored clothing.
I agree that learning to drive stick is an important life skill. Our first few cars were all manual - until we purchased our first minivan.
I now live in a popular vacation destination in the US, near a mountain. Many tourists come and want to visit the mountain, even though rental car companies don’t allow their vehicles to go up. The tourists think that because they have 4WD, they’ll be fine. But, it’s not the going up the mountain that’s the issue. It’s the coming back down. Even in totally dry conditions, if you don’t know how to shift gears, you’ll burn out the brakes, the brakes can fail and then you won’t be able to navigate the turns or the stop sign at the bottom of the road. Just yesterday, I was taking some visitors part way up in my RAV4 and we saw a car that had not been able to stop at the stop sign at a T intersection. The sedan was wedged under a tractor trailer.