<p>ReneeV-
Great one!
There was a similar discussion recently about the term “child” when referring to offspring. Not sure waht the issues is. I like being my h’s “wife”. It feels more endearing than “spouse” or other generic partner term. </p>
<p>tisthetruth-
Is there possibly a reason at your school that the faculty are encouraged to use a generic term? It sounds like possibly a PC issue.</p>
<p>I am laughing out loud at this thread!! Looking at sleeping H and trying to think of him as spouse!, way too generic. H and W is much moe endearing.</p>
<p>Nothing wrong with the term, “wife” … but wait a sec… “housewife” doesn’t sound quite as good. Always an awkward moment at tax time when I have to enter my wife’s occupation. Housewife? no! Homemaker? **** no! But she is my wife, so that’s what I call her, or rather that is how I refer to her. We keep it simple around here. </p>
<p>My gay male cousin refers to his gay male spouse as his spouse. Perhaps your professor has a male spouse. If his spouse is female I think he is just being PC. Personally I don’t care for that word (spouse). I think it is a contraction of 2 words, special and mouse, ie sp’ouse.</p>
<p>“Wife” is just fine by me. I’ve been just that half my life now, so it’s cool … but we were pronounced “husband & wife,” not “man & wife” lo those many years ago.</p>
<p>Marite, no, I don’t use “the wife,” either. I actually often refer to both TheMom and D by first names, with context providing the role. As I say, I acknowledge that it’s a tic. </p>
<p>Coureur: well, yes.</p>
<p>In conversations between TheMom and myself, we use a whole array of substitute terms of various shadings, the overwhelming portion of which are affectionate. This explained because a college girlfriend would very affectionately call me dip****.</p>
<p>how about Princess.</p>
<p>:)</p>
<p>My H is the king.</p>
<p>Therefore, I am The Ace. (My license plate says so.)</p>
<p>Never really thought about it - I am very happy to be my H’s wife - I had to chase him awhile till he caught me. But certain intonations bug me - like if someone is purposely not using my name to make me anonymous.</p>
<p>We use spousal-unit often (along with parental-unit).</p>
<p>My favorite “She who lets me live with her”.</p>
<p>
Cute!</p>
<p>I’m gonna watch for that vanity plate, binx! BTW, any news from the air traveller?</p>
<p>When they say “spouse” or “partner,” I always considered the possibility that they were gay but ultimately they would say “she… .” At this organization I worked for, one of the employees and I were talking about the director who moved out-of-state. I asked why, and she kept saying “he and his partner…” and she must’ve noticed a subtle expression (of shock) on my face, because she strated using gender-specific pronouns after that. As for my professors, I did find out that one of them is lesbian, but she volunteered that information when she was talking to me one-on-one (she referred to her as “partner”). And I had another professor who’s gay (I knew this before I signed up for the course but I signed up mostly because I wanted to meet a Harvard-educated lawyer). Anyway, he doesn’t refer to his partner at all if he has one, but it’s so obvious to us that he’s gay (some book published on a gay-related topic, hilarious jokes about homosexuality as appropriate). I had another professor whom I really liked so I’d go to his office hours, but I think he thought I was hitting on him because he would make statements like “I’m actually not gay…” after I inquired about some things he said in class. I didn’t think he was but maybe he thought that I thought he was. Even though he’s single at 30+, I decided that he isn’t gay-and my gaydar is generally reliable and valid.</p>
<p>I had a teacher in Massachusetts who referred to his life partner as his husband. That amused me so much.</p>
<p>Anyway, I never thought of “spouse” as being any more formal than “husband” or “wife,” but maybe they used it for that purpose since they were in a classroom setting.</p>
<p>
Since gay marriage is legal in MA, it shouldn’t be surprising. Many gay couples are married now.</p>
<p>It could be that these couples are not married. Gay couples tend to use terms like spouse and partner because they are searching for words that convey a long-term, commited relationship. There are straight couples who choose not to marry or choose to marry quite late in their relationships. In such cases, terms like spouse or partner may be more appropriate than boyfriend or girlfriend.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Actually, it’s not a vanity plate. The state of Georgia recognized my position and assigned Ace to me all on it’s own. Everybody comments on it, though.</p>
<p>And D has arrived. She sent us two text messages during the middle of the night updating her progress, and an email this morning from her former German tutor’s house, where she is staying. Said she had no problems at all.</p>
<p>I care about words and try to keep a sense of humor, so here are some observations:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>If an academic says “spouse” it doesn’t mean the academic is gay, but chooses a gender-neutral word on purpose. That’s appealing because then the gay faculty doesn’t stand out as odd if they say “spouse.” Like the invention of “Ms.” in the 1970’s, so nobody had to discuss any more whether she was a “Miss” or “Mrs.” in middle age. I was a “Mrs.” but clung to “Ms.” for the sake of my pals who were “Miss.”</p></li>
<li><p>Wife seems like a nice word to me, but I understand why my MIL was progressive in the 1940’s to insist her children write her down on school forms as “homemaker” and cross out the word “housewife” as a choice. She said, proudly, “I make a home for us. I’m not married to my house.”</p></li>
<li><p>I have heard people root around for the correct name for a live-in unmarried partner. The funniest one I heard was, “My Son’s Spose, as in 'do you spose they’ll ever get married?” My other favorite to express it: “my checkmate.”</p></li>
</ol>
<p>well, the plural of spouse is spice, if that means anything.</p>
<p>I never knew that, quicksilver!</p>
<p>My favorite “partner” word is Cicoe (I’m not sure I pronounce it right - I say See Koe) - from “contact in case of emergency.”</p>
<p>Cockney for wife: Trouble and Strife.</p>
<p>Live in spouse-
My Main Squeeze</p>
<p>No, my wife is not demeaning, she is very supportive.</p>
<p>" “housewife” doesn’t sound quite as good. "</p>
<p>House-spouse sounds like something out of Dr. Seuss — especially since it also rhymes with mouse. :-)</p>
<p>FWIW, on my DH’s cell phone, it says “ICE MyName” (In Case of Emergency). Hope it doesn’t mean that he’s planning to ice me at some point… </p>
<p>To me, “DH” (as I refer to him here) has many meanings, depending on my mood or his behavior… ;)</p>