<p>I just remembered the most recent occasion that causes me to be ginger about the word “wife.” </p>
<p>A few months ago, I was musing aloud that maybe with this Empty Nest thing going on, maybe now was the time to have a second child. TheMom said, “Take it up with your second wife.”</p>
<p>Half an hour later, I’m sitting at the dining table making notes on a legal pad and she asks what I’m doing. “I’m writing an audition notice.”</p>
<p>“For what?”</p>
<p>“For what I’m looking for in a second wife.”</p>
<p>I tell you now, you try to entertain one of her suggestions but there’s no pleasing the woman.</p>
<p>===</p>
<p>Marite, I keep trying to envision the look on your husband’s face if you called him your sweetie but my brain keeps doing one of those Windows-like crashing things.</p>
<p>great lakes mom–Yep, some things fall into the “it sounded like a good idea at the time” catagory. I think tatoos and pierced nipples on hard-bodied kids today (male and female) may not look so great down the road. I made this point to S in 2003 when I took him and friends to Lollapalooza. Which, by the way, was as good as the Lewisville Pop Festival in 1968. AND, I actually can remember everything that happened at Lollapalooza. </p>
<p>I find some interest in the fact that fewer women even want to get married and women go to college to get educated to AVOID being dependent on some guy.</p>
<p>Question? Do you think these new women refer to their guy (when there is one) as my old man?</p>
<p>Hmmm. “Old lady” of the 60s vs. “Biyatches” or worse still “H_s” of this generation??
I’m sure today’s kids will look back on these words and wince just as much…</p>
<p>Good thing your said “the.” Since the 1990s, "that woman’ has acquired unfortunate connotations. :)</p>
<p>If I want to see my kids squirm, I just have to threaten to call them something like “pumpkin” or “sweetie pie.” They’ve accepted that “mon chou” is standard French endearment and has shed its botanical and culinary associations.</p>
<p>When I hear “my wife”, I always think of John Cleese in Fawlty Towers. He’s really made a mess of something, so his wife makes his go upstairs to apologize to the guests. He runs upstairs, practicing his apology all along the way—“I’m sorry. I’ve made a terrible mistake.” </p>
<p>When he actually gets in front of the guests, he blurts out–“I’m sorry. My wife has made a terrible mistake.”</p>
<p>^^^Yeah, Fawlty Towers reinforces all those stereotypes about bumbling males who think they’re Army colonels, but whose wives are the real generallissimae. </p>
<p>What about the husband, as female shopper dithers in front of expensive dresses, while salesperson hovers: “Hmmm… I don’t think my husband would care for that…” (meaning, I don’t really want to spend that much money, but I don’t want to appear so cheese-paring…)</p>
<p>Once I was introduced by my then-new brother in law as “the person who infiltrated, then ruined, our family.” I think he may have recovered from that bruised shin in the intervening years, but his shadow even now seldom darkens my doorstep.
My husband’s secretary once told me that she knew my H would never have an affair because he’s too afraid of me. I figured I did my job well. haha
Still, I’m proud to call myself his wife.</p>
<p>fencersmother, you may have the key to a functional life, inspiring fear. Peace, love and harmony are great, however perhaps not as effective in the world of relationship dynamics.</p>
<p>I always have issues about what to call SO. (As you can see).</p>
<p>“Boyfriend” sounds silly after 40, and “my old man” is passe. So that leaves his name, except it’s very common, so I always have to add qualifiers like “XYZ-at-home” or worse yet, “my XYZ” to make it clear who I mean. </p>
<p>And even this is touchy because it still upsets my sister that he has the same first name as her late husband (she won’t call him by “her” XYZ’s name, she just uses pronouns).</p>
<p>When D. was 2, I was trying to teach her the full names of adults in the family in case she was ever lost. I was trying to get her to figure them out by asking her how we address each other. She wasn’t having an easy time of it, till we got to “What does Grandmother call Grandfather?” Her whole face lit up and she said, “Honey!”</p>
<p>Let’s pretend our son’s name is John Jay Thiessen. We have an adorable video of 2-year-old John saying, “JohnJohn Jay Thiessen Jay Thiessen. Firty Jackson, Irvine, Irvine, California.” As long as you understand that firty = thirty, the kid was all set. Of course, he was four before he stopped saying “John John Jay Thiessen Jay Thiessen.”</p>
<p>For some reason, it bugs me when DH is talking to a long-time friend on the phone and says, “My wife and I are going out to eat tonight,” instead of using my given name. The friend knows me perfectly well, so why not use my name? </p>
<p>In Mexico (I don’t know if this is just a Mexico City thing or more wide-spread), some men call their wives, “My gorda.” That means “my fat-one.” It is considered a term of endearment (regardless of the wife’s weight)!</p>