<p>StickerShock - just to wrap up my story, my D was one unexcused absence short of “not getting credit for her semester”, which would have implied that graduating would have become an issue. </p>
<p>I think what really bothered us was was to get that letter after the huge effort D had made getting most of her applications in by early Sept., gathering all school related documents (councelor reports, rec letters, transcripts etc) and the like. Additionally, she worked her tail off turning work in early, she made sure to maintain good grades, and also talked to her teachers ahead of time whenever she would miss. </p>
<p>Luckily she received good news in December that allowed us to cancel the remainder of her auditions. Sometimes things really turn out the way they are meant to be.</p>
<p>Interesting enough in all our verbal conversations, the school was ‘most understanding’ (we initially refused to lie about why she was not at school). However, when it came to the computer generated correspondence and our follow up phone calls, the administration deferred to “the strict guidelines from the Archdiocese regarding college visits”. The councelor kept telling D to apply to more UC’s and “simply” reduce the amount of BFA’s she was applying to (yeah right, because we all know that our kids should put their eggs in only one basket ;)).</p>
<p>MT, it’s a shame that her obvious commitment to doing assignments early, etc., wasn’t enough to bend the rules. Great to hear that it worked out anyway.</p>
<p>It’s really a shame that these schools are so unyielding about their rules. We got around them by developing personal relationships with the administrative faculty very early in my D’s high school years. When it came time to do college visits and auditions, they were quite helpful because we had a history of positive interactions with them.</p>
<p>StickerShock - I think that essentially one just learns to deal a bit earlier with the reality of life that what seems logical, is not always regarded as such :).</p>
<p>onstage - just know that in some cases even personal relationships don’t work :); as a matter of fact, we have plenty of those at D’s school. At the end of the day, those relationships don’t override reinforcement of the manual. The school is notorious for how strict they are. To put things in perspective, students can get suspended for presentations that don’t show enough diversity :(…</p>
<p>I guess my advise would be to those who are reading these threads and embarking on this journey next year, to take their school’s guidelines into consideration when planning auditions to avoid conflicts.</p>
<p>I wouls add to MTgirlsmom suggestion by infroming the guidance counselor, the college advisor( if different) and the principal or headmaster/mistress that these audition dates are set by the schools, not the applicant, that they are not all on week-ends, that travel time (and major personal expense BTW) is necessary, that applications need to be in by early fall, preferably no later than mid-September (this avoids the schools’ scramble for ED applicants). I would insist that they make accomodations bc this is an audition process and most schools just need to be made aware of the arduous process, sometimes with strong suggestions that athletes are not limited for official and unofficial visits and that the issue can be taken higher if necessary (I know this bc my son is currently a college athlete and my H- former NFL- was a a big college athlete with numerous hs visits not that long ago). The school can accomodate these MT kids without having the problem escalate to the general population bc they KNOW which kids are in fact pursuing this course for college… YOU need to educate schools by being persistent, firm but kind, and smile while you tell them what you need from them. Any threat on their part that a child will not graduate with those # of absences should be met with a suggestion by the parent to take it to a higher authority ( superintendent, school board). You might find they are more cooperative than you think once they are properly informed. We did this in May of junior year to give them time to absorb it all and work with us!!! Good Luck!!!</p>
<p>Good suggestions, ttmom. But I’m not sure they’d work at a private school, though. “Here’s your hat, what’s your hurry?” can sometimes be the attitude. I have no idea what the policy is at D’s chool, and I don’t know if there is an unlimited # of absences for athletic visits vs. other visits. Definitely something to explore way ahead of time, as you suggest.</p>
<p>I wish that what you say was possible but when a HS has close to a 900 students per grade and and maybe 12 public high schools alone in the county I don’t think that would be possible. I am going through this with D & MT but I also went through it with Ice Hockey Tournaments for my S. He was encouraged to play by the school but when it came to travel I always had to make up a story. I think the lesson our kids learn is that everything is not always black and white and that to survive in life you have to sometimes go to a gray area. That’s just life.</p>
<p>My D was actually at a private school but her bf was at a BIG public school with over 500 in graduating class and employed same informative measures in May of jr year and they accomodated both kids… Of course school work is kept up on the road and niether girl fell behind- in fact both graduated with straight As. These MT kids are used to busy tight schedules and litle sleep! Just food for thought- one never knows until they try to address the system instead of just accepting the rules as is.</p>
<p>I think the lesson here for those entering this process is to find out what your school’s stance is. </p>
<p>Do not assume (like we did) that, if you go way out of your way, explaining what the process is like to everybody who is somebody at your school (principal, counselor, dean and the like), and who wants to hear (and even those who don’t really want to ;)) your school will automatically be more accommodating. Some will, and some simply will not. </p>
<p>It is important to be able to work with or “around this”, and like kimoki says “That’s just life”.</p>
<p>NMR - I will PM you as it indeed has nothing to do with this thread and I don’t want to get in trouble boring everyone :D.</p>
<p>my school also only allows 2 automatic exemptions for college visits. i managed to schlep my butt over to unifides in NYC and i missed my 2 days already. i hope to be able to get the rest of my absences for my other 2 college visits exempt. but if i don’t i only get 5 absences unexempted per term. except for term 4 which we only get 3 because the seniors get out on may 30th instead of june 20th.</p>
<p>wow.i really wish my school was a little bit lenient. i mean… seriously… i’m not sure what are excused because being sick isn’t and neither is attending a family members funeral… i’d know!</p>
<p>Small CHARTER Performing arts school - some illness in the beginning of the year BEFORE auditions began. Once they started,we were honest UNTIL…the letter saying that too many absences would send me to jail and her to not graduate…puh leese…straight A student, NAtional Merit etc… we talked and were told to call the rest illness if needed. …and I am on the school board so have personal relationships all the way up the line.</p>
<p>Heed the advice…read the student handbook carefully and be prepared to plead your case…it can be very tricky everywhere!</p>
<p>Having taught in a public school and now working at a boarding prep school, I can say I don’t agree with the rules but they’re there because so many parents/students abuse the system otherwise. I was amazed in public school to have a student who missed 40 days of school for who knows why…and in boarding school parents who take kids out early/come back late on vacation times for extended trips or personal convenience. So, the rules go into play. And boy, do some parents get ***<em>y about it. They want the student to get the education (well, most of them do, I think) but they want it all *their</em> way. It is extra work for teachers to juggle alternative assignments and remember different schedules for students. And every parent thinks that their child is the only one who is doing this…but that just isn’t the case. The number of kids with obligations like MT auditions, outside sports team events, tryouts for summer league sports, college recruiting, outside sports training, family commitments, etc etc is surprising. And that is in addition to legitimate illness issues. I am guilty of it, too. I have found that planning ahead, sitting down with administration when necessary, and having my D’s be extra vigilant on their organization and work really helps. Unfortunately all too many are not like this. I never saw it from the inside till I worked in education…I was pretty critical of it all. But being on the other side made me see, well, the “other side”.</p>