We once had a admission person tell us to look at admissions like a football draft. The school needs a team. And a team means people to fill every position. You might be a quarterback and a great quarterback, but if the school already has enough quarterbacks you might not get in. But if you are a kicker and they need a kicker, you might be offered a spot, even though your grades and test scores are lower than a quarterback they turned down.
I think the mistake that many students make is thinking that going to HYPSM is the only path to success. Or that going to a school ranked 12 is so much better than doing to a school ranked 15. I think it’s important to think about what is going to help you reach your goals AND provide you with the college experience you want. What schools offer your major? Are you focused on one path or do you want the opportunity to explore different interests? Some schools are more flexible than others. Do you want to do research? Some schools have better opportunities for undergrads. Do you want a competitive environment or a more collaborative one? Does location (urban, rural, suburban) matter? Does cost matter?
As for your last post, yes, people can exaggerate their activities and qualities, but admissions people aren’t stupid and can see through a lot of that. And recommendation letters will help give admissions a sense of who you are what you’ve accomplished. And if admissions wants to verify things, many can be done with a simple google search. If you search my D’s name you will easily be able to verify she was involved quite a few of the activities listed on her application. And her recommendation letters served to verify what sort of student and person she was .
It sounds like you are someone who is not interested in playing the admissions game. You want to study and learn over being involved in activities and volunteer work. That’s totally fine. But some schools are going to care about how you are going to contribute their campus and community beyond just taking up a seat in a classroom. That’s your job to express in your essay and through your recommendations. Do you plan to do research? If so, then what research is that school doing that interests you? Does the school provide a unique major or program that would help you reach your goals? If so, that’s a great topic for your “Why XYZ school” essay. You are going to have to think a little bit about what you are going to offer the school and not just want the school is offering you.