<p>momof3sons, as far as answering the “where are you applying” question, I already told my son to be vague. He will do that. I am only concerned with his doubting that a small LAC will allow him to be a successful person. I am also concerned with how he will feel when adults give him that puzzled look, and ask what kind of school that is, rather than just being happy for him. I am also considered with one overbearing relative who emphasizes how important those big football games are as a part of the college experience (he was and still is a big party type of person and went to a larger school). This relative put that type of pressure on my other son (he can really get into your face when he wants to). So how does one convince a kid that going to a school like St. Joseph’s can offer a good education and bring just as much job success later in life as going to Rutgers University?</p>
<p>northeastmom, I don’t think there is much you can do about how people react when you tell them which schools your son is considering. People are not always polite, and if people in your area used to hearing Rutgers or Delaware, and you mention a school that’s not known to them, they may not know exactly what to say. </p>
<p>What I would do in your case, is take your son to visit Rutgers and U of Delaware, just so he can compare them to the small LACs so he can see which he prefers. I’m sure you have your reasons for preferring the small LACs, but maybe give him a few more options - and then tell him that he is the one who will be going to the school, not his friends, and he has to choose the college that he thinks will be best for him. I’m sure the schools offer lists showing how their graduates faired in grad school admissions/job placement - and you can show those to your son so he can see that you can attend an LAC and still have a successful career.</p>
<p>So far, we have toured one school that D fell in love with and visited a few others unofficially. Truthfully, she is also concerned about name recognition when it comes to college selection. So far, her list includes two or three ivies, two other top schools, and one OOS public. She will also have to include an in-state public and maybe one other school. I’m sure this list will change between now and senior year when she applies. As a matter of fact, suddenly the school her boyfriend will be attending next fall has jumped to the top of her list…lol. It’s a great school, but…</p>
<p>BurnThis, you and I have much in common!</p>
<p>northeastmom, I have something of the same problem with my S, but it’s internal, not coming from relatives or friends. S is a sports fanatic (mostly as a spectator - he’s on the small side and plays tennis), and only wants to attend a school that has at least one really good team (football or basketball). Many of these schools are large, but he’s the kind of kid who would probably do better at a smaller university or LAC. Our approach is going to be just to take him around to a variety of schools of all sizes and types and see what clicks. Who knows, he might fall in love with an LAC despite himself!</p>
<p>I too, have a 10th grader, a D, and a college freshman S so count me in. She accompanied him on a few college trips a few years ago, but seems unenthusiastic about the process now. For now she is more focused on spring track and a new boyfriend, so I think I’ll just let it rest until track season is over. There is no time for college visits around track meets right now. I would have loved to have my kids think about Rutgers (both H and I are alums and had a great time there), but they wouldn’t even consider it (“I don’t want to spend my time on a campus bus”). Sigh.</p>
<p>I’m in too… I have a 10th grader and also a college freshman (both sons), so we have a little knowledge already. The process was pretty straight forward with older S, as he knew exactly what he wanted to study and there were only a handful of universities offering the program. He only ever wanted to go to one school; applied early, rolling admissions, and knew in Oct. of his senior year that he was in.</p>
<p>Sophomore son is leaning towards journalism (right now!), so will have many, many more options. He doesn’t have the interest in a specific area of the country that his brother had, either. So we will be doing much more research in the coming year. Looking forward to all the support and advice y’ all will have.</p>
<p>BurnThis, we’re a match.</p>
<p>My D1 is a senior who will be at Yale next year. D2 couldn’t be less impressed (so she says) and is most interested in colleges with beachfront or ski areas attached. She’s got the brains and grades for lots of places, but motivation? Meh.</p>
<p>I think it’s a reaction to D1’s role in the world, and once she’s safely far away, D2 will be able to figure out what she really likes (not just the opposite of what D1 likes.)</p>
<p>I truly think D2 is cut out for an LAC where everybody knows her name and has never heard of D1…</p>
<p>limomomof2, thanks. You have given me some advice that never occured to me. I think that getting a list of how graduates do with respect to jobs and graduate schools would be ideal for him. Thanks.</p>
<p>Just editing, as an afterthought. Would this concern be something worth discussing openly at a college interview with an admission’s counselor?</p>
<p>another 10th grade parent! riverrunner: my s1 is going off this fall, and after watching and listening to it all s2 is starting to think about how it will all turn out. but like you, i am hoping that once s1 is off and away, s2 will come out of the shadow a bit and be able to find what he likes.
we will be doing some college visiting this summer for him, and focusing on seeing “match” and “safety” schools. The idea being to find one or two he really likes. My feeling is, it is easier to pick out the reaches, then the match or safety (if there is such a thing anymore) that he could be really hapy with.</p>
<p>expatme, excellent point about finding the matches and safeties. I’m traveling to a sports comp with her tomorrow and we’ll also be visiting what I think will end up being a match for her. I hope it’s a sunny day since she is such a visual/sensory person…she’s the type who won’t engage if her first impression is neg.</p>
<p>At our school, it is mostly all LACs where the kids go. Small New England high school, most kids go to small New England/northeastern colleges. A few to ivies, almost none to OOS big state schools. The current counselor has his list of favorite off the beaten path schools which get a few of the kids each year.</p>
<p>"Like a previous poster, my son does not want to talk about dreams, goals, colleges with me. "</p>
<p>I wonder how much of this because he’s a boy. I don’t know too many boys who do that talking.</p>
<p>Don’t you all find their perceptions of different schools funny at this point when they don’t necessarily have a lot of information? My daughter has turned her snout up at Rutgers becaue “it sounds like a prison.” (Riker’s Island). She will occasionally find a college or hear of one in some way and I love listening to what she currently prioritizes. For your information, Syracuse is so far very popular because of the Dunkin Donuts and KFC.</p>
<p>my daugher loves to talk to me about college, keeping my fingers crossed that it will last, ha ha. She is happy to hear what I have to say but at many times I have to set her straight. zoosermom’s last post reminded me of a funny comment from a few days ago. She said her friend wanted to go to Amherst, isn’t that a bad school? I had to laugh and tell her it was one of the top LACs in the country. Did she possibly mean UMass Amherst? I told her the advantages of the 5 college system. She keeps asking me if X is a good school and I tell her that every college has its strengths. She and her friends are all the the stage now where they focus on name and reputation of the school without knowing anything else about it. I know it is a phase. She looks at some of the PSAT mails she gets, I have taken to filtering them to give her ones which may be interesting to read or have some aspect she could consider.</p>
<p>For lots of kids, I don’t think it is a phase. I think that lots of kids and families stick to the rankings, name recognition, and don’t dig deeper.</p>
<p>When my son’s freshman English teacher told me that my son peruses the college books on the bookshelves before class started, I about fell over. I felt like that gave me permission to think about it myself. And my son enjoys looking at all the mail he’s getting from colleges neither of us has ever heard of (though my time on CC has made me much more aware!). But he’s not ready to delve into it, for sure. We did one visit last summer at a reach college I knew he’d like, and he, indeed, fell in love. Well, as much as a 15yo boy can fall in love with a college. </p>
<p>But we’ve been getting e-mails from various colleges inviting us to receptions at people’s homes to learn more about the schools, and he’s said no every time. Part of it, I’m sure, is his reserved personality (those feel socially awkward), but I truly don’t think he’s ready to do any heavy lifting in this arena.</p>
<p>His school with a graduating class of about 200 sends kids to top schools every year, including Ivies, plus a good number go to LACS. However, UT is the Holy Grail for many. I hope my son remains open to looking at a lot of different places.</p>
<p>northeastmom - I’m so glad you liked my advice…lol. I don’t know if I would discuss this concern at an interview - I would think that by the time you are at that stage, your S would already want to have that type of information. I guess it depends on whether the interview takes place before or after your S applies. My feeling is that it would be better to discuss it with an admission’s counselor prior to applying. I do think many schools have that information online if you search their sites - it’s worth trying, anyway.</p>
<p>jackief - my D does the same thing - she is very concerned about a school’s name and reputation at this point and will ask me if a school is “good.” She never looks at her mail from colleges. The emails were all coming to me (my email address was used to register her for her test), and I forward them to her - what she does with them, I’m not sure. </p>
<p>zoosermom - LOL. </p>
<p>I predict that all of our kids will become much more interested in selecting colleges by the middle of their junior year. The only reason D has given it any thought at all is her boyfriend and other senior friends. I think that now that their decisions are in, the whole thing is becoming more real to her. Once they take the PSAT for real in the fall, the whole college app process will seem more real to them.</p>
<p>YDS - wow - D’s gotten lots of invitations to come visit schools - but I don’t think any of them were to receptions at people’s homes. I don’t think D would want to go either - more because of lack of free time than because she feels socially awkward though.</p>
<p>Hi, moms. Can a dad join in? (Feels kind of like walking into the women’s section of the department store–not sure I’m really supposed to be here…)</p>
<p>I’m also in the 10th-grader / college freshman club.
It will be interesting this time around. </p>
<p>Differences between S and D:</p>
<p>S (boy) didn’t share his feelings much. Ever.
D (girl) is already talking about pros and cons of different schools</p>
<p>S knew he wanted engineering, probably electrical or computer.<br>
D is interested in tech-related subjects but not sure… </p>
<p>S had high SATs and “good-but-not-super” grades.<br>
D may be in the “good-but-not-super range” on both.</p>
<p>S didn’t know many kids in college during the process.<br>
D regularly talks with friends at several colleges.</p>
<p>S worked with a dad who started looking at MIT and worked his way down
D has a dad who has wised up over the last three years ;)</p>
<p>Dad of a 10th grader here and very happy to have found this thread. DD goes to a reasonably competitive high school in central Texas which sends a bunch of kids to UT Austin and Texas A&M, but very few to HYPS and the next tier schools such as Duke, JHU, WUSTL, Rice, CMU. Most of the students in her class have not seriously started thinking about college.</p>
<p>We started our preliminary college selection and visit process this Spring - drawing upon the experience of our college-bound niece. DD is currently ranked in the top 1% in her class of ~750, and scored 219 in her sophomore SAT. She wants to go to a small/medium sized U (not a LAC) with a good academic reputation and a strong biological/biomedical sciences program. The safety is UT Austin, where she is thinking of applying to the Dean’s scholar honors program. The plan is to take the PSAT formally in October, a couple of SAT subject tests in December, the SAT in March and a couple more SAT subject tests in June. Throw in some college visits in Fall/Spring of junior year, and our plate is looking fairly full already!</p>
<p>Just wondering how other folks are approaching this process and what their timelines are. I hope we can learn from each other as we go along. </p>
<p>Any parents from Central Texas?</p>
<p>I like the idea of a bottom up approach, did not do it that way with S.</p>
<p>“Hi, moms. Can a dad join in? (Feels kind of like walking into the women’s section of the department store–not sure I’m really supposed to be here…)”</p>
<p>Will you and SXM change light bulbs, kill bugs and lift heavy things? </p>
<p>Of course you can hang around with us. Men are good.</p>
<p>Booklady – I’m in the exact same boat. 10th grade son and daughter who is a college soph. and they are like night and day. The process with D was harrowing but exciting and fun. I’m afraid with S it’s just going to be harrowing!!</p>