Exactly! My D visited, auditioned and was accepted at a school 1800 miles (roundtrip) away. On those long drives I was calculating how much time and money we would spend moving her back and forth for four years. Looks like in the end, she will be choosing somewhere closer and I am delighted.
My child’s school is almost 600 miles away - a 9 hour drive but the flight is just over an hour (and most times, I can get roundtrip for under $75). Her apartment is about 15 minutes from the airport.
My son is an 11 hour drive away but only about 4 to 5 hours by flight and drive to airport. Airfare on Southwest is really cheap most of the time. There is a flight into the city where his school is and I use that once a semester to go visit him. A little pricier and actually takes a little longer due to the layover but I can get a rental cheap or don’t need one at all. He can take his car to and from the further airport.
For us distance wasn’t a factor. We have always flown or made long drives and it doesn’t phase us. He drove home for Christmas, flew home for Thanksgiving (dirt cheap buying it earlier), and went on a trip with friends for Spring break. He is independent and happy!
Now that won’t work for everyone I know but don’t hang on or set random distance limits. Financial limits make sense as long as you take everything into account. Independence issues or medical issues too (child really needs to frequently come home for family time or doctor’s visits or whatever). I know parents that put a distance limit because they didn’t want the child far away because they would miss them too much, not because of any tangible items. It is a time for parents to start letting go and students to start becoming independent. Don’t get me wrong it can happen even when a student lives at home if both parties have the right mindset. Just my two cents.
We’ve looked into plane flights to some of the Florida schools and I haven’t seen anything close to $75 round trip. The bus isn’t all that cheap, either, and the trip takes forever on a bus.
Definitely look into the commuting cost to some of these schools.
For us a layover was a dealbreaker. It adds significant travel time and too much can go wrong. Changing planes in the midwest or northeast in winter is risky at best. Not hard to imagine an early season snowstorm hitting Chicago over Thanksgiving weekend. Hurricaines can wreak havoc on the east coast in August and September. The south isn’t quite as risky weather-wise but you never know with flight delays, cancellations, missed connections, etc. At least if you are not connecting, you’re not looking at sleeping in the airport.
We were fortunate that my best friend lived 30 minutes from our kids’ campus and let us list them as emergency contact, because as S pointed out they’d get to campus MUCH sooner than we ever could. Fortunately between myself and 6 siblings and our 2 kids, distance was never a major barrier and we were glad no geographical restrictions were used for any of us. My folks only visited one sister and one brother’s campus out of all of the many Us which we all attended and it was s pleasure trip, not a crisis.
My D went to school a 17 hour drive or a one layover flight from home. She had a friend’s family that lived roughly half way between school and home, it was slightly closer to home. When she drove she would stay over night there. I also had 2 different cousins that lived along the route, so there was additional support if needed (it never was).
Layover’s where not a deal breaker for us. We did not live close enough to a direct flight airport. Excluding a layover would have excluded a lot of good schools. We lived in the Midwest at the time and there could have been all kinds of winter weather, it is just something Midwesterners deal with.
My son probably drives more (and further) than most 17 year old kids do on a daily basis, so I could actually see him driving himself to/from college. Problem is, he won’t have a car when he’s at college. He would be reliant on the bus, a plane or us driving there to pick him up/bring him home. To add to the logistical dilemma, his younger brother’s school breaks wouldn’t necessarily align with our college bound son’s breaks.
I can see the benefit in letting a kid commute home during breaks and occasionally even fly home or take the bus. But plane flights are pricey and even bus fare is not as cheap as I had hoped.
I don’t like the idea of him being 6+ hours away, without a vehicle in a hurricane prone state. Maybe in a couple of years. I’m glad that so many of you have been able to make these long commutes to/from school work for you.