Please please know how fortunate you are in may respects. If you are “12 years from retirement” that indicates to me that you are in a position to retire, fairly secure in knowing you will retire, and it seems that you may not need to work in retirement. That alone is huge unknown and absolutely not guaranteed for most Americans. Secondly, your child is an amazing position academically to get very good merit or have excellent options at most schools.
Please consider how “scary” it is for families that do not have these things going for them. Perspective.