It's almost over...2017 Year End Wrap Up.

Parent Cafe
21

I feel like the last 3 years were probably the worst years of my life, from losing, my father, job and marriage, but 2017 was the turning point for me and my kids. I finally landed a job that I like (after 3 different ones), moved back to my apartment permanently, and reconnected with old friends. My rocky relationship with D2(due to the divorce) is finally at a much better place. D2 also got into some great law schools and D1 is getting married in 5 months. I haven’t felt this good in a long time, and it includes before my divorce. I am looking forward to 2018.

For CC’ers who are going through some hard time now…it will get better, just take it one day at a time.

22

Five of my friends lost a parent this year. It made for a difficult year for my social group. But it was this same social group of mine that participated in the big march last January and we found another reason to celebrate being women. MIL saw a sudden decline in her health and DH and his siblings were faced with how to help her. She had a wonderful team of doctors who chipped away at her myriad of issues. Sis in-law was great at communicating with the doctors. In a few shorts months, MIL was stable enough for her hip replacement. This year, she’s scheduled for 2 additional surgeries. Her physical issues scared DH back to the gym which was another blessing.
My kids did well this year, DS’14 is still thriving in his job and supporting himself, yay. DD’16 in 2nd yr law and still enthusiastic about her chosen path. Found a BF and then broke up. (I need to add D and S to the matchmaking thread.) Youngest is working hard in HS. I can’t complain.

DH and I were feeling our age this year. It hasn’t been easy for me to recover from the flu that hit us. DH bounced back faster. He had started working out again this year and actually stuck with it while I need another jump start. My health has to be by priority in 2018.

We still plan to retire sooner than later and gave up our search for our downsize home. It would cost more to move where we wanted and after the wild fires ripped through our county earlier this month, we realized that this is where we would be safest. So, 2018 will see us continuing to pare down “stuff”.
Professionally, I continued to work part time and pitched a new project idea to my supervisor who wants me to get it started in Feb. I am nervous. It was the first time I had ever pitched an idea. What can I say, I’m a late bloomer.

23

The year started out rough - lost my mom at the end of January. One of those expected/unexpected things, but a shock to the system nonetheless. The relationship with my oldest sibling, which has never been great, took a sharp turn for the worse. My other siblings are in the same place with them, and I don’t know that it will ever clear. Death, debts, drinking, and money. A sad combination.

ILs are not in great health and FILs dementia is getting worse. Fortunate that H and his sister see things the same way.

1D enjoys her job and we continue to hope she goes to grad school and does what she really wants. Her BF asked for our blessing; he intends to propose in February.

2D has been out of school for a year and is still unemployed. I have no clue how to deal with it, so I don't.

Plus side - we’re going to retire this year. After another summer and fall of unending work annoyances, I’m ready to go. The thought of not being able to take a vacation and head overseas for a family event in the coming year because of work schedules was more than I could deal with. 5 more months.

We have our vacation/weekend place for peace and quiet. Looking out at the water, even through the rain, relaxes me and gives me hope for the new year.

24

This year has been a mixed bag. I’ll tell both because sometimes others may need to understand life isn’t full of unicorns that poop rainbows.

Good: I started quilting again after 20 years and am loving it. I made a lot of good friends and finished one quilt totally, one is ready to go to a person to quilt and another is almost ready to go to someone to quilt. Bad on this was our quilt shop flooded during Harvey and the person that was going to quilt the one I finished had her long-arm machine destroyed in the floods. Good. The quilt shop will reopen sometime in the spring.

Good: My job is going great and is very interesting. Next year will be even busier but fun.

Good: S17 graduated, had a great summer job, got to travel to England, got into the early admit program to vet school, and started college. He said the other day that this has been the best year of his life. He has a new girlfriend that he adores and is looking for summer jobs. He has one in case he doesn’t get another one. He did get mono but a mild case and is doing great. He got a 4.0 his first semester and a nice letter from his college about it.

Good and Bad: Harvey disrupted everything here for a couple of months. Our house was fine but so many of our friends and neighbors were not. I was so happy how everyone at my work, the area churches, and local businesses came together to help one another. It showed why I love this area and this community. i enjoyed being able to help others. Several businesses we shop at were damaged. Some will never reopen, some have reopened and some will open again soon.

Good: We got a new rescue papillon. She has been such a comfort to me! I never had a small dog but I adore her.

Bad: Everything with my D15. She has dropped out of CC and trade school this year. She has quit a job she had for 8 months and since then will do nothing. She has been hospitalized for her depression once but won’t take her meds or see a doctor regularly. If we press her to do anything she just says she will kill herself. Today I asked her to get a job but her answer was “Just kick me out then.” We tried that and she did try to kill herself. We are between a rock and a hard place with her. She is disrespectful, rude, and won’t even speak to us most of the time. We don’t give her money and she thinks we are abusive because of that. She was arrested and has a court date for a misdemeanor coming up. (Broke her ex’s car window when he was leaving her in a far away area late at night after hitting her. He wouldn’t give her back her purse of her things and was driving off with them). He was arrested for hitting her. Such a mess! My health is a mess because of stress with her. There is a lot more but those are the lowlights. Mini good: She does have a fairly decent new boyfriend.

Bad: My marriage is a mess mainly because H turned off because of dealing with D15 and has totally withdrawn himself.

Good: 2018 is a new year.

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After a lousy 2016, 2017 was a big improvement. D1 got married, and her little brother got a clean bill of health from his specialists. There were a number of problems - health, home and work - for dh and me, but they all shrink to insignificance when compared to the two big bright spots of the year. This winter the early darkness has not sent me into my usual blue funk, probably because I’ve been able to keep focused on the huge improvement in our son’s health and happiness.

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I don’t want to look back. I just want to look forward to 2018 with positive vibes. Hoping it will be a year of new beginnings and a very positive one.

27

I’m on an academic schedule. I’ll report my feelings after June.

28

Mixed.

I spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering what was going to happen to my healthcare.
But, I also seem to have mostly gone into remission.
Politics probably took a good 4 years off my life though.

My sister got married, and then she cut off all contact with us. I doubt I will ever see her again. It has destroyed my parents.

This time last year, my baby nephew and sister in law were just getting out of the hospital after a very difficult birth and aftermath. Watching him grow this year has been incredible.

I taught my first full course this year (I was delayed because of being sick) and my students’ reviews were so sweet they made me cry. I guess I might have a future in this teaching thing after all.

I’m currently in the middle of my doctoral exams (I need breaks because my brain doesn’t concentrate that long anymore :frowning: ). 1.5 essays done, 1.5 to go. Hopefully less than a month from today, I’ll be a phd candidate and ABD (all but dissertation).

Finally, I was cleared for pregnancy and I’ve lost almost 30 lb to try and prepare my body for it. So hopefully by this time next year, I’ll be preparing for a healthy baby.

29

This has definitely been the worst year of my life. I can’t wait for 2018 to start, however 2017 is ending up on a positive note.

2017 began as a wonderful year. Life was good, everyone was happy and healthy, we were training for a half marathon up Pike’s Peak and making good progress. Then, we were on a wonderful hiking trip in Switzerland, and my healthy and extremely fit husband had a stroke. We ended up finding out that he also had a large hole in his heart and deep vein thrombosis. I spent months in shock, convinced that I was going to be alone for the rest of my life. He didn’t want me to tell anyone, because his mother was on facebook, and he was afraid it was going to be too much for her, so I had nobody to talk to about it.

After a surgery to fix the hole and back to normalcy (except for the fact that the FAA won’t let him do his job for at least a year and maybe two), we went on a great Rick Steves trip to France with the kids. But near the end of it, our beautiful older cavalier was hospitalized with kidney disease, and died after we came back. It was awful, as when we left her to go on the trip, she was healthy and running around like a puppy. No warning, and we were devastated.

But now it’s the end of the year. My husband is at 110% both mentally and physically, it’s like it never happened. Our dear doggie is buried in the yard and though I miss her terribly, I don’t cry all of the time. Our younger dog has adjusted. My job is going great, I enjoy it a lot. The kids are happy, healthy, and employed…thank you, God! So really, this year is ending on a positive trend, thankfully.

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Good: Oldest graduated from high school and started her freshman year of college. She’s a normal freshman, learning how to be independent and doing well so far (haven’t seen her grades yet, but I think she did fine). Youngest is in high school and has gained a lot of confidence this year that has been very surprising. She is shy but has branched out socially and it’s fun watching her grow into a confident young lady. We didn’t take any big trips due to college budgeting, but we did manage a fun spring break trip to NYC. We had a very relaxing summer with no summer sports, college visits, etc. so we enjoyed the time to decompress before we start all over again with our youngest next year. We got a new roof, new siding, and our deck refinished courtesy of our insurance company after a severe hailstorm. Just wish we had the funds to do some indoor remodeling as we plan to relocate and downsize soon - probably following our youngest to college (that’s what she wants and what we want, so it’s all good!).

Bad: Well you know. Besides that, my mother has started to decline after what we think was some kind of stroke. She had a bad headache and went to the Dr. who gave her a steroid for some reason, and at 2am the next morning, she got up and got dressed, got in her car, drove to town in the dark thinking it was 9am and time to go to her follow-up appt. She got lost in the town she’s lived in all her life and drove over the curb into someone’s front yard and started honking her horn - she says she tried to knock on some people’s doors to help her, but no one would answer. So the police got called and my sister went to rescue her. She was very loopy for about two weeks but then got better for a while, but now she has started declining very rapidly both physically and mentally. It’s sad, because the last three years, I flew her out to visit us in the summer instead of the other way around and she got to go on her first plane and train ride, plus her first cruise. She was really enjoying the new experiences, but she definitely won’t be coming back again. I’m thankful that she did get to have at least three fun trips. I would have done it sooner but she was never interested - she didn’t travel farther than three hours away from her hometown for the past 55 years, but three years ago, she was suddenly ready for some adventure. Lesson learned: don’t put off the things you want to do in life.

I’m retired with a very small pension, but over a year ago, I got a 5 year contract job (at the time, I thought “Whoo-hoo!”) but it was Indefinite Delivery Indefinite Quanity (IDIQ - basically “we can’t promise you any amount of money or any time period of work - we’ll just let you know”), and I still haven’t been assigned any work due to the da#n fed budget. I have also been waiting two years for a small adjustment to my pension, and a couple of months for an additional and more significant adjustment (supposed to happen automatically when I turned 56 but it didn’t). I love (snark) that I haven’t been able to talk to a live person for these two years to figure out when I’ll get what’s owed to me. I also love that my e-mails and voice mails never get answered. Budget cuts have not been good for me.

I’m looking forward with hope that good things will happen in 2018. We have a trip planned next summer to see my mother and my other family members (who all live in the same town thankfully) and then on to CO to visit my BIL and SIL to do some fun hiking, bird watching, rock hounding, kayaking and visiting the Great Sand Dunes, etc.

31

I have been fortunate that this has been for the large part a good year. We became grandparents this fall, which is a true joy, though requires lots of travel to see her, S1 and his wife. Thank heavens for facetime. S2 got engaged to a delightful girl, and hopefully the wedding, which falls financially squarely on our shoulders, will not be filled with drama if the bride’s dad shows up (well, that will be an upcoming 2018 issue, not a 2017 one).

We took two wonderful family vacations to celebrate DH’s landmark birthday. His health is stable, as far as we know, which is good.

Sadly, several friends lost spouses and parents this year (in fact we have a shiva to attend tomorrow) so I am grateful for mostly good health ( almost recovered from my broken ankle a few months ago).

As others have alluded to, the only major negative have been the elections. And so it goes…

32

A mix for me:

Good: everyone’s health has been good. I am running more and more and able to be active in all kinds of ways (two years post joint replacement, all restrictions lifted for this year). H is working in NYC in a challenging position and we are taking turns commuting back and forth. Mostly fun and interesting for us both. Stressful for him, but he did need one more big project before retirement so overall good.

I am back in school contemplating another degree and having a blast.

The whole family has done tons of traveling, together and apart, so many adventures had by all.

Kids are basically on track, though the tracks have changed direction in surprising ways.

Bad: okay, this isn’t all bad, but my folks sold my childhood home and moved to an apartment. We went through lots of stuff and took many trips back and forth. It was sad to lose that house, which was an anchor in my life. I miss it. My folks are adapting as well as could be expected. My brother is drinking again.

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These are so much like CC Christmas cards!!! :slight_smile:

Well, I don’t do Christmas cards, but I’ll jump in a little. Admittedly, I don’t care for “New Years” - I always feel a little apprehensive about what the new year will bring.

H retired late 2016 so 2017 was a year of changing our schedule a bit - while trying NOT to change our schedule too much because I really like my routine. I work FT but with his job his hours were often late nights and weekends - and now he is home what seems like ALL. THE. TIME. That’s been a little hard to get used to as I like my quiet time. He is fully happy though and has ticked his eBay business up which is a good $$ maker but difficult for me who has become more of a minimalist to have all the stuff around.

Health wise he and I are generally good. He still attends WW but is NOT losing weight and probably has gained a little. I need to spend 2018 catching up on some routine appts.

D1 has acquired a boyfriend she seems fairly serious with. S has a difficult first half of the year dealing with some gut/anxiety issues - I am UBER proud of him for working though things, seeing the value of a counselor to help him deal with the anxiety and gaining control of himself physically and emotionally. D2 is a very thriving junior in college and is handling entering into adulthood like it’s her job. :slight_smile:

My mom is the only grandparent left and at 84 is still working part time but also is slowing down. I took her on a trip in March to see her 91 year old sister in California which I am VERY happy we did as that sister’s health seems to be declining.

I worry lots about family health overall. I guess a result of everyone getting older. I worry a good bit about my job - I rely on grants and that is a hard thing to rely on right now. Will need to work especially hard to get in a little more comfortable place in 2018.

Other positives: LOTS of time at our cottage in Canada - our “happy place”. Consistent exercise routine maintained by me - I’ll be adding up my running/purposeful walking miles after tomorrow. We were so FORTUNATE to have a new well maintained paved trail placed in our neighborhood one block from our house - this 3 mile trail has become a BIG plus in our life walking and running it nearly daily since it opened in May/June.

Life is Good - literally I live this - I’m a big Life Is Good product fan and a fan of the glass half full mentality. But sometimes life is HARD. Because of this I know it is important for me to hang onto that glass being half full.

34

I always put the bad and the good in my Christmas letters.

Good- Still love my job and was promoted to Vice President. Love my work and my co-workers. Even though I turned 65 this year, won’t be retiring any time soon.

Returned to marathon running and ran 3 marathons (and a number of shorter races) this year and won or placed high in my age group in all of them. The bad in this is that I’m still a head case about racing (for no reason) and almost can’t bear the pre-race week or two. My running streak is over 900 days (my record is 960) and I ran over 2000 miles this year.
My two kids had incredible athletic success this year, with son ranked as a top amateur in the world at the half ironman triathlon distance. Daughter raced her bike this year, competed in US short course triathlon national championship and set personal records at distances from 5K to marathon. Husband continues to ride his bicycle huge miles by himself and with his bike group and runs in the winter. Daughter wrote and published a book- it’s a controversial book, but it’s a good one. We have 2 wonderful senior Golden Retrievers that we adopted from rescue at ages 12 and 13, respectively. We also have 4 cats- 3 Ragdolls and a tortie. Love them all.

Bad was my priest-daughter’s horrible and surprising divorce. She was blind-sided and it was very painful and frightening for her as a low-earning part-time priest. Ex-son in law (a doctor) turned out to be a really, really bad person. I saw it coming. Worst part is that he gave away two of their precious Ragdoll cats (or killed them) and won’t tell her where they are. Good news is she has a wonderful new full time priest position starting in January, a fun new apartment and even a new fellow in her life. We will all heal. My son will never be easy and I will never stop praying for his health and safety, but he has an interesting job and a house and I just take it one day at a time.

I lost some friends this year and learned that people can really be disappointing.

I get plenty of business travel- right on the edge of almost too much. Some of the trips are difficult, some are to fun places at law firm hosted conferences and my husband gets to go. We took our annual summer trip for a week to Crested Butte, which is one of our happy places. We are taking both kids to St. John (USVI) this May for a rare family trip.

35

2017 was okay.

I finished my chaplain internship that I’d wanted to do for many, many years. It confirmed that I really do want to change vocations to chaplaincy, and also opened the way to a lot of personal growth and awareness about other stuff as well. I’m volunteering one day a week as a chaplain because I enjoy it, and to keep myself reminded to continue to pursuit this change. Plus the head of the department has hinted that it might give me an automatic acceptance into the residency program if I choose to stay in the area.

My end of year evaluation with my moonlighting boss went well. She said my attitude has improved tremendously - which means my acting skills have gotten better. Grateful for the job, love many of the clients, have no respect whatsover for the office staff.

My organizational skills are improving with family finances. For the first time ever I’ve kept all the records for the year and my check book balances.

Husband has managed to keep a job for a year without being fired, and the probationary period for maintaining his professional standing has ended.

I’ve stayed out of debt other than the mortgage, which is always good. No balance carried on the credit card that I was finally able to get to start rebuilding my credit rating after we had to file bankruptcy five years ago. Managed to work enough moonlighting jobs to meet expenses and hide some money away. Oh the unfairness - had to file when husband was fired for the third time; he is the cosigner on one daughter’s student loans from a decade ago and the other cosigned a car loan for him last year, so his credit is rebuilding just fine while mine stays low.

I took a couple of refreshing vacations to the Adirondacks, which were wonderful. And free, thanks to some generous programs available to clergy. And just recently one of my daughters took me to Disney World for a week of Christmas celebrations. And let me pay for a few of the meals, which gave me some dignity!

The other daughter came home for a few days, and we got along much better than we usually do.

2018 can just get skipped, if I had my way. Bring on 2019!

It was supposed to be the year I finally left my husband and started the residency program I need for chaplain certification. Applications for residencies are usually submitted in January or earlier for an August start time.

But the husband is having cancer surgery next week, and my daughters would never forgive me for walking out on him before that is resolved. (I approached the topic of divorce with my daughter at Disney before his diagnosis, and she was very much opposed to it then - he isn’t the type to live independently and will probably intrude on her life). This is not a good time to take the cut in my income that the residency would create, either, with the increased medical bills. And the uncertainty about what the next year will bring means putting my dream on hold. Hopefully by summer of '19 he’ll be in good enough shape, plus he’ll be 65 then and qualify for Medicaid and pension (and yes, I WILL claim my half - my income was always low because I followed him when he was fired and relocated, meaning I took small part time churches, whatever was available where he moved, becoming type-cast instead of advancing my own career, so I need and deserve part of his pension).

So I’ll stick it out another year. My churches are slowly dying and want one more “normal” year, so this setback works well for them - and I do love the members. I guess the good side is that I can hopefully continue to squirrel some more money into my secret checking account, and getting the mortgage reduced by one more year’s payments. We’ve reached the point where we can sell it without taking a loss, so there is some good in the delay. It’s been very encouraging to see that all of the residents at the hospital where I volunteer are my age - it’s not too late to start over, even if I wait a year.

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^^^ @KKmama , I’m still rooting for you (and for your H’s health) in 2018 and hoping you can move forward - you seem like an amazing human being who deserves more of what you want in life.

37

Hugs to everyone going through tough times.

2017 was a year of felling really mortal between various health scares for me and DH. They seem to be on back burner but every time I turn around it seems like someone else in their 60s has died.

Good part was getting remarried. He is a wonderful guy. I’m so glad my family could see me happy again.

38

Bad—Most of 2017 revolved around H’s health issues. After a cardioversion in February didn’t work, he was told he needed a valve replacement. He delayed the surgery until April and spent most of May and June in the hospital or rehab facility. I couldn’t be away from him overnight before the surgery or during his convalescence so I didn’t get my trip to California to see my son. I also couldn’t go to our cabin which has been my retreat for the past 5 years. H is not a good patient and has been miserable during his recovery, most of it aimed at me. I have really tried to help him maintain his independence as much as possible but his attitude is just wearing me down. A bout of pneumonia in August and a fourth hospitalization due to a home nurse’s error has understandably been difficult for him.

Good—Son’s project seems to be moving ahead. We are still lending him his future inheritance to pay his bills but have seen major signs that that will end soon.

Finding some good in the bad—Son was able to be home more this year so he could be here for H’s surgery and then again in August. Father and son spent some good time together.

I am learning to accept the new reality of my life. I will become stronger and more resilient. My relationship with S has always been good but I like it even more talking with him as an adult. I am learning so much from him.

Moving on to 2018–H needs one more procedure that is scheduled for January. If it goes as planned, it will be a major part of his recovery. He goes to cardio rehab 3 times a week and seems to be getting stronger. I am tentatively planning my trip to California for February.