It wasn’t a lot of stuff, but my brothers and I did a “snake draft” with my Dad’s things. We drew lots to see who was number 1, 2 or 3. #1 picked first, #2 second, #3 then had two picks before circling back to #2 , then #1. Repeat until the stuff runs out. We all got what we wanted.
We waited because of Covid. I’m sure we would have done it sooner if we all felt comfortable traveling. This was pre-vaccines.
That said, it was much more emotional than we expected and I think having some time to process first can be helpful
Mom has a huge safety deposit box full of jewelry. Most of if was gifts from one if dad’s clients od stuff ge bought at auction all jammed into a midsize box. No idea of the value I’d the items but there are a lot of items and mom never wore them. I’m pretty sure none of them are my taste and not sure if they’re any one’s taste.
A sister proposed that one day we have a gathering and take turns each selecting something until it’s all distributed. No idea when that’s likely to happen with Covid. I’m not in any hurry as I can’t recall any items I particularly care for.
I never in a million years thought it would happen in my family…until it did. Sometimes you don’t know your own family members as well as you thought you did, especially if there is a someone who has gotten away with deceiving people for decades.
I can’t say any more. Trust me it’s a nightmare.
So true. Hugs to you. It’s a nightmare with several chapters (and into the next generation some times…)
Been there, done that, and now there’s one person who is estranged and probably will be til the end of time. For the price of an unnecessary deception and what could be called theft, the family is broken.
Other than our dad’s ring, we each got to choose one thing that we really wanted and then went in order to divvy up everything else.
I only wish my fingers were slim enough to wear my grandma’s wedding set.
A good jeweler can make anything fit!!! I’ve got short and stubby fingers- my mom’s were long and skinny (like a size 3 ring skinny) and although the eternity band couldn’t be sized (little stones all around) the other rings fit me fine now!!!
I have my moms wedding ring - she gave it to me a year or two ago - it’s one main diamond with a few smaller ones. She died November 2021. I don’t think under any circumstances I’d want to wear it as it is now. Not only is it not my taste but it would feel off to me - nothing against it I just couldn’t do it.
I question how “valuable” her diamonds are. Her ring was probably bought on my dads naval base 65 years ago.
Any one have experience turning the diamonds in a ring into something else? Like maybe a necklace for each granddaughter with the smaller diamonds??
I think a necklace for each granddaughter is a great idea! I have my mom’s engagement ring, which she had reset in the 80’s. I had it sized for my index finger, and I wear it on occasions when I want my mom to “be there.” I may someday put the stone in another setting (I already have a diamond necklace that I wear every day), but I can’t bring myself to do that yet. It’s been 12 years, but it seems like yesterday.
I do the same thing - wear my mom’s diamond ring when I want to “take her out”. She kept it in her safe deposit box and wore a faux ring. Her last insurance appraisal had it close to $10,000. Of course I expected that to be greatly inflated. But when I took it to a jeweler to get it appraised for our insurance, he found a chip inside the setting that he said took it under a carat and it wasn’t worth being insured. I believed him because he was friends with our insurance agent so it was taking business away from his friend. I had thought about having it reset until then.
And that did stop my brother from commenting how I had the “$10,000 ring” when discussing division of assets.
The stones in my grandmother’s wedding ring were split among the family. My mother had been holding on to the 2 stones she received and used them to make necklaces for her 2 granddaughters for their college graduation gifts. Each necklace is a bit different, but the heirloom stones were used in the center and the jeweler added halos of smaller stones. My daughter never knew her great grandmother, but it’s nice that she has something from her to keep forever.
Actually, my own engagement ring is a side stone from my H’s grandma’s ring. It’s not especially big, but it’s a good diamond, and we designed a setting together. H’s cousin got the other side stone, but he didn’t give it to his fiancée (apparently, it wasn’t good enough for her - and they never ended up getting married, imagine that). I thought it was meaningful to have his grandma’s diamond.
My mother, when down sizing, was getting rid of many valuable things, furniture and other pieces. She had an estate sale appraiser come in and attach a value/price to everything. She then gave each of us an imaginary amount of money (same amount) and we all had first dibs to “buy” what we wanted with our imaginary money. Worked out well and the rest was sold at an estate sale.
She has already had all of her jewelry appraised and divided equitably in her will. She has asked if there are any particular pieces any of us want and she tried to accommodate that in her equitable distribution. If any of us ever gave her jewelry, she has already given that back to the person who gave it to her.
We all get along very well and she wants absolutely no bad feelings among her children when she dies.
She also had a solid gold charm bracelet with many many charms from trips and gifts from my father. For Christmas she had all the charms removed, weighed and appraised. She then bought each granddaughter a gold chain, and painstakingly spent hours dividing the charms by value and meaning and gave each granddaughter a necklace with the charms. Each grand daughter now has a piece of my moms jewelry and history. It was such a cool moment when the grand daughters opened their necklaces together and were so happy and comparing charms and asking grandma about the meaning and why certain ones were chosen for them. My mom, even at age 90, is such an intelligent thoughtful woman. Love that lady!!!