<p>Oh dear…I really feel for your D. But I don’t agree that she should just let this go. It seems reasonable to touch base with the Production Manager in a positive way…and in the process…she may secure a reference or get some information on what happened. It’s too bad that she doesn’t have his email. If there’s no way to get it, I would recommend sending him a letter at this plant address - asking him to call or respond by email. The other option is to call him when you know he won’t be there (evening?) so that you can leave a carefully worded voice mail. I don’t think your D should pressure him to get the job back - and IMO, being too forward about saying she wants to go back would do that. </p>
<p>I’m assuming you will be seeing these folks at social functions and burying the issue can make these interactions real tough. What will you all do…pretend that nothing happened? If he knows your D doesn’t blame him and just wants a positive reference if possible, it can smooth things over. Reaching out and hopefully getting a response will allow all of you to put this behind you. Ignoring it all is tempting…but not a good strategy. Your D is suffering, and it’s likely the Production Manager is feeling some guilt. Let him off the hook by expressing your appreciation for the experience, and move on.</p>
If for no other reason than this, your D should contact the production manager.</p>
<p>Your H is teaching your daughter a poor lesson - don’t stand up for yourself, don’t ask questions, just take whatever anyone dishes out, and always assume that you know exactly what happened and who acted badly. She needs to learn to stand up for herself - a difficult proposition for many women who believe themselves to be conciliators and hate conflict. You will never get what you want until you learn to ask for it.</p>
<p>The question I always ask is, “What’s the worst that could happen?” In this scenario -
If I send the e-mail or talk to the production manager, and he doesn’t like it or I did something wrong, (a) he’ll tell me or (b) he won’t. If he tells me, then maybe it’s something I can work on. If he doesn’t tell me, then I haven’t lost anything since I don’t know any less than I did before.</p>
<p>2) If I send the e-mail or talk to the production manager, and I didn’t do anything wrong, he’ll probably tell me. And then I could have a good reference.</p>
<p>3) If I don’t send the e-mail or talk to the production manager, I’ll never know what happened, I’ll worry about it, and I’ll lose what could have been a valuable reference.</p>
<p>There is nothing wrong with the inquiries suggested here. There is something definitely wrong with letting it go.</p>
<p>Just to clarify my earlier post: I’m not saying the parents shouldn’t provide guidance, just that they shouldn’t get involved directly in the resolution of this incident. If the dd doesn’t resolve this, I’m afraid Dad is going to blow on the guy at the neighborhood picnic. Who would that help?</p>
<p>Should be easy enough to get the guy’s e-mail address.</p>
<p>To clarify my statement about the value of working in production (#9 and referenced in #18):</p>
<p>The emphasis was supposed to be on the “extended period of time.” I was responding to a suggestion that the student put off going back to school in favor of continuing the production work.</p>
<p>I absolutely agree that engineers, especially, should have production experience.</p>
<p>Why be angry? I think the chances that this has NOTHING do do with your daughter are very, very high.</p>
<p>Horrible things are happening at my workplace right now with lots of firings. A temp worker is just collateral damage in a much bigger drama. Tell you daughter that she was likely not the target at all, but instead a by-product of some other power play. If this is indeed the case, it could explain your neighbor’s silence. After our last mass firing, the staff wouldn’t even meet anyone’s eyes in the hallway. Everyone “went to ground”. If things are very weird there, your neighbor is probably being smart by being silent.</p>
<p>As she doesn’t have his email, just drop him a written note with the tone as suggested - thanks, learned a lot, appreciate the opportunity, keep me in mind, can I use you as a reference in the future. </p>
<p>No harm, no foul with the neighbors. The workplace is very tense these days with people scrambling to hold on to their jobs. Temp workers just get buffeted by the winds of fortune. It not about you!</p>
<p>Kids do need coaching at this age, no matter how intelligent or driven. They are still of the belief that a great job merits a great outcome, and not always is this the case.</p>
<p>My DS1 - at a restaurant job this summer- finally tells me that the boss has not paid him in 4 weeks ! And, his view - he did not want to confront her because she would not give a good reference ! Took a long talk to convince my 4.0 DS1 that her constant stream of comments when he asked for his wages ( next week, or he was being ‘petty’ by asking her several times) were self-serving and not objectively reasonable. </p>
<p>While, as directed to the OP, the situation might not be the same, there are employers who will take advantage when they can, and kids need strategies to deal with difficult, and at times manipulative employers that can only be learned through the wisdom of experience…</p>
<p>^^^ agree. It also helps to have a mom who works in the HR field. Why wouldn’t I give free coaching to my own son? :).
Deb…hope things are cooling down in your house. I very much agree with Delicate Arch…this is very likely not your D’s fault. The workplace can be brutal…</p>
<p>I think we are moving on from this. I know my H will not confront the neighbors, just not his style. He just doesn’t think very highly of the whole experience.</p>
<p>I think my D is getting past this. Today is going well, she can’t figure out what she could have done wrong and is thinking that it has nothing to do with her work performance. Just another life experience. In the scheme of life, the little bit that she would make working another 6 weeks is not going to bankrupt my H or I. We will just have to give her more money than we anticipated. She will miss the idea of being able to spend the money as her’s but things happen.</p>
<p>She decided to call the production manager today and asked him if she could have her mentor’s email address. It’s a simple request and one I hope he will be able to give. </p>
<p>We are going on vacation next week and I am very glad our D will be able to go with us. Hopefully she will be able to have fun with her cousins and extended family.</p>
<p>Whether the reason for the position ending was related to performance or not is beside the point. Many people suceed at engineering who would fail at production and many production guys / gals would fail at engineering. It’s two very different styles of work.</p>
<p>By the same token, I don’t think her strongest reference would be the people who supervised her at a production job. They can talk about how she did at production but not to her ability as an engineer. Professors and mentors at college can talk a lot more to her abilities as an engineer, which is much more important for employers. </p>
<p>The main thing for her is she worked in a manufacturing facility through a temp agency, and that’s that. Now back to Calculus, Statics, Thermodynamics, etc, etc, etc.</p>
<p>Oh dear, I am sorry this happened. A very awkward situation. I wouldn’t worry about the reference letter. It can go to your neighbor who, yes, should nicely be informed about what happened with an emphasis on the gratitude on your D’s getting this job. He may not know.</p>
<p>This is often a problem, by the way, when you get jobs through an “in”. You may bypass the usual gatekeepers and requirements in getting the job, even leap frogging over others who have been waiting for an opening, but it’s not like everyone is going to know how you got the job, and if it come to light as it did for your daughter, that she is not in the group entitled to be there, she could be let go. It’s really only fair. </p>
<p>When I worked at my first job which I got by going through a number of grueling nterviews, taking a math aptitude test, and having to go through the employment ringer, I resented those summer students who waltzed in there by virtue of nepotism. Many of them had absolutely no interest or aptitude in the field of work. They just wanted the job and had a parent with an “in”. Because each department could hire at will and was really the final say on who was hired, these kids never had to go through the employment gauntlet. It was usually handeled directly, like OP’s daughter wast treated, often hired even more automatically. I remember one inept college kid who worked as little as possible, was nasty and spoiled as could be who was hired because his father was a big wig at another office and his kid wanted to stay in the college town and wanted a job. I swore I would never hoist my kids on anyone like that, and I have kept that promise.</p>
<p>I must say it sounds curious to me that after being asked if she was interested in full time permanent work, your D was then terminated by the temp agency. Is it possible that the temp agency had a policy of only assigning to this company people who were trying for full time emplyment there? Perhaps there was a snafu on the part of the agency and once they realized this, they were obligated to end the assignment? I would encourage your D to get to the root of the issue with the agency. They are the ones who ended the employment, and I think your D has every right to know why.</p>
<p>I don’t see how beating the dead horse would be beneficial to the D at all…I think the best thing to do is to let sleeping dogs lie. </p>
<p>One of the major purposes of temp agencies is that companies can bring people on for short lengths of time and let them go very easily. I don’t think the D has the right to know why the assignment ended since it was a temporary assignment.</p>
<p>I do, because her understanding was that the assignment would last for the summer. She is young and would benefit from learning if she had done something wrong. If she had not done anything wrong and it was just a business situation then this would be useful to know.</p>
<p>I’m a business owner and DH is upper management – we have the same strategy: the closer you can get to a person for a difficult conversation, the better the outcome. And with our kids’ jobs issues (and there are always issues) it always played out better to talk in person or on the phone. I’m not saying corner the guy at a neighborhood barbeque, but use the professional channels to convey the disappointment on the ending of the assignment and get any feedback that could be useful looking forward.</p>
<p>If there’s someone else who runs a business that you know well, have him call this company for a reference for your D, and then you’ll truly know exactly what sort of a reference to expect.</p>
<p>Update: My D called the production manager for an email which he called and gave to her. He did not say anything else, just gave her the email address that she asked for.</p>
<p>But today, the temporary agency called, they have another assignment for her. So she got another job! Yeah! Don’t know how long this one will last. </p>
<p>Of course, we were going on vacation today. My D was going to go but she didn’t feel that she could turn down a job so she’s staying home. It’s putting a complication into things but we are going to deal.</p>
<p>Thanks for everyone for commented. It was very appreciated</p>
<p>That is probably a sign that she was terminated for reasons not related to her performance. Temp agencies have plenty of people to pick from these days, so if they thought she wasn’t competent, kudos to her! I am curious whether her next assignment will make good use of her skills, so let us know.</p>
<p>Strange that the pm didn’t say anything when he returned the call. Sounds like avoidance behavior to me. Hope she follows through on the email to him and gets some info. It really sounds like it likely had NOTHING to do with her performance. </p>
<p>It’s terrific that she got another assignment…but it’s too bad about the vacation.</p>
<p>Bigtrees, I did not find it curious at all. She was clearly a good worker, but when it came to the guy’s attention that she was just there as a summer student, and he had a number of “career” folks out there, he gave them the heads up. I might have done the same in this economy and under certain circumstances, but I wouldn’t have just done it and had the info conveyed to the girl. I would have talked to her and explained the situation. This way there would have been and would not be any doubt that the dismissal was due to performance. I would have also assured the young lady that her work was good enough to get a full time offer, and if she truly were going to stick around there, she was going to be moving up. But given the economy, and so many workers needing jobs, it really was not right that she was given that position through contacts, bypassing the usual gates.</p>