I was in a similar situation a few years back - approached by another company and offered a decent chunk of change. I went to my manager and director and basically said, “I have this offer, but I’d rather stay. Can you do anything to help make the decision easier?”
You don’t want to be confrontational or demanding, but you do want to be professional and matter-of-fact. Frame it as asking for their help in making a career decision, while also making them aware that everybody in the room knows you’re valuable to other companies. It might also be helpful to have a list of accomplishments at the company ready to discuss.
At most places where I have worked, it is very hard to give someone a raise without another offer in hand. I also think your D should let her boss know that she was recruited and has an offer with much higher salary. I would also let the boss know she would prefer to stay. I don’t think 15-20K would break their piggy bank.
Quite a quandary, stay with the company she is with or go with something offering more money and sounds like more stable. If she were older I would definitely tell her to go with the company offering her more money, if she moves closer. But, she is young and able to take risks you can’t when you have more responsibility. I suggest she go with her heart. As someone who has a long commute, I have one piece of advice…DON"T Do IT!
Agreed, @mamom, commuting is the worst. Daughter is young, unattached, and leads a pretty fun big city life. Now’s the time to do that – she has the rest of her life to make money. (I didn’t put it to her in those terms, naturally.)
There MIGHT be a grant, then again…there MIGHT NOT!
She feels indebted to her roommate, would this roommate feel as obligated when a job offer comes her way? Or when she falls madly in love and wants to move in with her boyfriend? Or, the friend loses her job and can’t afford the rent? Sorry.
She needs to quickly assess the job market. Maybe out of the city and with higher pay she won’t need a roommate. She will make new friends. I would not advise her to take it unless she plans to move. That kind of commute can make you miserable.
Clearly, she needs to spend some time at the new job. She needs to,get a feel,for the environMent and expectations. After that, then she can approach her boss with her dilemma .
That 3 hours a day in the car is going to make her miserable. I would strongly advise her not to take it unless she moved closer. I would tell her that leaving behind work friends shouldn’t be a factor…she is too young for that to hold her back, and nobody else at the company would let it if they needed to move on. Her roommate is a bit stickier, but if she was going to get married, would that let her stop her? I had to do the same thing when I got married…leave my roommate and friend alone to shoulder the rent until she found a new Roommate. But she had 6 months to do that, so I didn’t feel too bad.
I would never approach my boss about more money unless I knew others were making substantially more doing the same work. Even then, I’d approach it on eggshells. I would not advise her to mention another Job unless she really would like to stay, but is ready to walk.
@katliamom - Unless she gets some kind of raise in her current position, your daughter should also ask herself if she might start feeling resentment with time if she stays put. Knowing that she could be making over 25% more elsewhere might cause some second guessing down the road, especially on those “not so perfect” days at work which we all tend to have.
Personally, I think when you are young and not tied down can be the perfect time to make those career moves that increase your earning power and advance your career. It becomes much harder in the future when you are tied down by a significant other’s job, family, stronger community ties, home ownership, etc.
I work with a lot of young people. It is very normal for good employees to be recruited. I keep a close watch to make sure I don’t lose good employees. Sometimes when I asked HR or boss to raise their pay, HR would often tell me to bring a real offer to them, which I think is silly because I would prefer to get ahead of the curve. Of course, if an employee were to say to me, “Match it or I am walking,” I would say, “Don’t let the door hit you…”
^^ Ag ree that you need to approach leaving with, “I love this place and really want to stay, but I was offered 25% more elsewhere.” Then she needs to have all her accomplishments, performance and value to the company laid out and presented in a “non-ultimatum” way. Yes, it’s a veiled threat, but if done non-threateningly, most employers understand and if they can, will try to figure out a way for you to stay. But in her heart, she has to be prepared to walk out the door. It can’t be a hollow “threat” request.