Other parent: Where does your daughter go to college?
Me: She goes to the University of Pennsylvania.
Other parent: Never heard of it. Why go all that way for a state school?
Other parent: Did she have a job last summer?
Me: She was a research assistant to a professor at the Wharton School.
Other parent: Never heard of it.
Other parent: Does she have a job lined up for this summer?
Me: Yes, she has a summer job lined up at Cisco in San Francisco.
Other parent: I don’t know that company.
Other parent: Is she thinking about a semester abroad?
Me: Yes, she is planning to study next fall at University College London.
Other parent: I never heard of that either.
Yes, we have that here in Minnesota, too. There’s a small Christian college in suburban Roseville, MN called “University of Northwestern - St. Paul.” Naturally all the kids there simply say they go to “Northwestern,” and if you refer to the university in Evanston as simply “Northwestern” many people around here will assume you’re referring to the local school.
“University of Northwestern” doesn’t even make grammatical sense, as “northwestern” is an adjective.
“Heard of” appears to have little to do with having literally heard something. Most viewers of the movies Jaws, American Graffiti and Animal House, or of the play Our Town, have probably still not “heard of” Trinity, Middlebury, Amherst, or Hamilton.
“And while I’d like to get the beautiful flyer, I don’t want to kill any trees unnecessarily, so I’ll have to imagine how beautiful it is. I am fascinated by how the internet creates demand and interest for colleges, though.”
Was that a response to my inquiry?
Though my daughter received numerous invitations to apply to Olin by email, and postal mail, she did not receive a viewbook. (Thinking about it, Olin might be the only school known to us that has constantly reached out.) My daughter also has a friend there. Our relationship to Olin is older and more embedded than this thread.
One of my mother’s friends went to Wellesley (pre-Hillary). This came up when a group of women were talking about the colleges they had attended. Later, one of the other women said, “Oh, she must have meant Wesleyan.” My mother was too flabbergasted to correct the speaker.
“I was talking to ______ the other day and he said you went to John Hopkins.”
“Yes, I did the first year of my residency at Johns Hopkins.”
Another one I get:
“Where’s your daughter going to college this fall?”
“Wash U”
“Oh, that’s a nice school.”
I don’t know if they’re saying it to be nice or if they’re saying it because they really know it is a nice school. Even though we live in the Midwest, it’s still hit or miss.
All you parents of Penn students who reside in other regions of the country, I suggest you accept this Penn/Penn State confusion as your new reality.
Seriously, my HS classmates and their parents, who lived not 11 miles from Penn, had no idea what or where it was. When I said I was going there, the standard response was, “Lima or main campus?” [Lima (pronounced like the bean) being the earlier, less sexy, name of PSU’s “Brandywine” branch campus (which isn’t actually in the Brandywine Valley, but that’s a separate issue!), and “main campus” referring to University Park.]
It didn’t help that my older, much more academically-accomplished sister was accepted to UP and headed there as a freshman (after turning down Penn’s old Benjamin Franklin Scholars program). Being accepted to “main campus” was a HUGE accomplishment where I grew up. My sister was proof positive.
When I lived in San Diego in the early 90s, the ONLY people who knew the difference between Penn and Penn State were alumni of those two schools, academics, and professionals who grew up in Philadelphia.
Even the New York Times flubbed a headline (and believe me, they KNOW the difference between the two schools!) when the Sandusky scandal broke a couple of years ago:
Bradley University (everyone in Chicago, southern IL, etc area has heard of it–but if I am talking to someone outside of the area I just preface it with a short description).
Notre Dame (I get one of 2 reactions…“ugh…I HATE Notre Dame-why would he go there?”, or “Wow-that’s great, I LOVE Notre Dame” . The first one is funny to me, as I would never, ever tell another parent that I “hated” their kids school. I try not to take it personally, but I’ll admit it does bug me just a little:-). I think most of those people have no idea that how hard he worked to get in there.
"3) Notre Dame (I get one of 2 reactions…“ugh…I HATE Notre Dame-why would he go there?”, or “Wow-that’s great, I LOVE Notre Dame” . The first one is funny to me, as I would never, ever tell another parent that I “hated” their kids school. "
I might say - well, that’s an interesting reaction. But then I’d also realize the person was a loser (who says stuff like that, unless it’s clearly in jest??!) and figure they weren’t worth my time in the future.
^^ Exactly. The vast majority of folks have never heard of any of these little LACs, regardless of how selective they are. And why would they? Williams has fewer than 30,000 living alumni floating around out there; most flagships have that many folks on campus at any given time!
I lived my first 15 years in Midwest, but my uncle was a legendary coach at Williams, and he gave us lots of Williams gear (mostly stuff students left in locker room at the gym). One teacher asked if t-shirt was from William & Mary. Most people were simply clueless. Even when we moved to a Boston suburb, people thought gear was from Archbishop Williams High School…in other words people in Mass were just as clueless as in Midwest.
My family watched lots of old movies on TV, so we kids were all aware of Radcliffe, Wellesley, Bryn Mawr, and Vassar, cuz they were usually mentioned when a woman was portrayed as smart or classy…e.g. Some Like it Hot.
I dislike SMU and Arizona State. But I wouldn’t actually say that to someone. I have a RL friend with kids at Duke, SMU and Northwestern. Why would I tell her I have a strong negative impression of SMU? For what purpose?
Having lived for extended periods on both coasts and in the Midwest, I’ve noticed a difference in the way people use criticism. Like suppose you know a person is going to a favorite restaurant of yours, and you recommend that they try the cheesecake for dessert. And the person tries the cheesecake and hates it. If the person is from the Midwest, he’s likely to say the cheesecake was fine, or maybe say that they happened to be out of it that day. People from the Northeast don’t seem to have any trouble telling you they tried it and it sucked.
Yeah, I know there are plenty of exceptions, so hold your barrage of criticism. But I’ve mentioned this to others who are well travelled, and they mostly agreed with the Northeasterners’ tendency to clobber with criticism “for no purpose.”
@FallGirl while hate is a strong word, I could see many reasons for someone to dislike a college they or their kids don’t attend. For example, notre dame isn’t known for promoting diversity in its student body and if that’s really important to someone, they might hate the school. More generally, a large mismatch between a schools values and your own values might reasonably lead to someone stating they hate a college.
@Pizzagirl I agree, I wouldn’t tell someone I hate their school but I might use the opportunity as an exchange of ideas. For example, I understand notre dame could be more diverse, is that still true? Are they doing anything to establish more balance?
Wow, @moooop really? Maybe the purpose is to make you think twice before recommending that sucky cheesecake to 10 other poor souls. I’m from the northeast and I’d much rather have my beliefs challenged than hear a polite lie.
My D goes to Skidmore and the two responses to “where does your daughter attend college” are usually 1) wow, great school or 2) what a fun town. I have to agree with both. Occasionally we get “why would she go there as a double mathematics and biochem major? I thought they were all about horses, dance and theatre” to which we explain that they offer many majors and she has a nerdy vibe that fits in well.