I go to a beach school that, judging from the attitudes of some posters that I’ve encountered, is slightly marginalized on CC. I only got positive comments about the school from my HS schoolmates after I announced my commitment last year. Now, according to the anon app YikYak (which I no longer have on my phone), there may be a few who take exception to my high level of school pride and spirit.
Smile and nod indeed…
This woman has some real issues. I cannot fathom what would compel someone to say something so ungracious in response to a college acceptance. She must be a very unhappy person - do not let her problems become yours.
I was told by a friend that it was “stupid” to pay $50,000 (um, it’s more than that) per year for undergrad. That she and her husband would NEVER do that. She knew full well that ds was apply to top schools with no merit aid and that we didn’t qualify for need-based aid. Ds was accepted to and attends Stanford. Turned down a couple of full-rides at Big State U’s. It was his choice, and he went in knowing if he chose Stanfod we would not be helping for grad school.
In the class ahead of ds, a friend’s son was accepted to Stanford. Also full-pay, did not qualify for need-based aid. They could afford it, but their ds turned it down for a full-ride + perks, competitive scholarship (not at a top school). Money will be there for grad school if he chooses to pursue that. It was their ds’s choice. Several people said to me (behind their backs) that they were “stupid” for not paying for Stanford.
You’re d@mned if you do, and d@mned if you don’t. The focus should be on what is right for YOU and your family. Too bad others don’t see it that way.
@hoggirl - it is always the case. I complained to a good friend of mine that he is not letting his son reach his full potential by not letting him attend S and instead sending him into a BS/MD 3+4 program. His view was that they will end up in the same medical school and so what is the point of the 260k bill (his undergrad is free). This kid is moving onto a top medical school in Texas this year. For a would be doctor, it is not really a wrong choice but I keep telling him he should have spent the money! I am sure there is a smile and nod thread somewhere else where he is complaining about me!
I’ll just never understand why anybody thinks it’s their business how another family spends its money. Now, if they’re crying “poverty” and about to make a calamitous financial decision or, worse yet, begging me for money, that’s one thing. Otherwise, it’s about as much my business as how much they make for a living, pay for their cars, or where they choose to vacation.
@Hoggirl, I totally agree with you, no matter what you decide, some people may still judge you for making a "wrong’ decision. Sadly, it starts way before college. We pulled our daughter out of private elementary school after 3rd grade for reasons having nothing to do with money, but rather location and logistics (I had a difficult pregnancy and couldn’t drive for awhile, and local school is a bike ride away). When someone suggested I am doing a disservice to my bright daughter who’d be bored in public school, I said she’ll survive it, especially since she’d be going to public middle and high schools anyway since we’d rather save money for college than to pay big bucks for the top private MS/HS. Then I got a comment that floored me - “Well, I love my son so much, I’d rather make sacrifices but make sure he gets top education at _______ (local private MS/HS)”. What could I say? Only that apparently I must not love my daughter as much as she loves her son. We never again spoke in school, but it was somewhat embarrassing (to her) to run int each other at the grocery store.
@typiCAmom - I empathize! When looking into school options for my third, who has very different educational and physical-therapy needs from his brothers, someone at a school we were considering (an “outreach mom”) asked, “is this your only child,” and when I said he was the third and youngest, she said, “you must have a lot of time on your hands if you didn’t just send him where his brothers went after making the decision the first time” …
The worst exchange I heard this season as a bystander:
Mom one: my son is going to BC.
Mom two. Really? I would never pay a penny to support Catholicism.
Um, ok.
Gotta say it. Some people are just idiots.
How many personalities do you have? 
@jonri : One, last I checked. Where are you getting that quote?
Update: … Just searched it up. I think you have me mixed up with @FallGirl.
“Mom one: my son is going to BC.
Mom two. Really? I would never pay a penny to support Catholicism.
Um, ok.”
Mom two’s comment is clearly inappropriate. Why does she need to say that?
In our area it is a lot more common to hear the opposite. A parent will assert that they are sending their kids to a Catholic school, which is fine, but they don’t stop there. They then feel the need to comment that they would never send their kids to a secular school because there is more crime, drugs are rampant, lots of pregnant teens, alcohol and other hedonistic immorality going on. To my ear that sounds just as inappropriate as a Mom who is saying she won’t pay a penny to support a child raping Catholic school. Unfortunately, many people in all groups have a hard time really accepting the idea that all groups contain good and bad people, and that the group they happen to be a member of is not inherently superior.
^Some folks just can’t help themselves and feel they must inject their opinion no matter how inappropriate, ill-timed, or inconsiderate it may be.
Just frown and shake my head.
One of my smile and nod moments was finding out that a kid I know, a straight A student with great scores and incredible talent in her sport, had accepted an athletic scholarship to a satellite branch of the state flagship. The family is low income and was focussed on D1 athletic scholarships, so they grabbed the offer from this school that admits roughly 3/4 of applicants, is in a terrible location, and is not particularly known for scholarship.
I wanted to shake them and yell, “Don’t you know what great financial aid this kid would have gotten at Ivies and top D3 LACs? She could have been a starter and gotten a great education!”
Instead I smiled, nodded and said “Congratulations!”
When my D was starting school our next door neighbors warned us that we were potentially “ruining” her life by sending her to public school rather than Catholic school (we are not Catholic btw) because only parochial schools could teach values and instill a love of learning. That was a smile and nod moment. Time will tell, but so far my kid ended up at a top 50 college, and hers is at a CC- primarily b/c he was expelled from his Cathlic HS for selling drugs there…
^Obviously they outsourced the parental responsibility of teaching values.
Could someone fill me in on the identity of the “cornfield” college?
I think it means any college town in the Midwest.
If you’ve visited, Kenyon is truly a cornfield college, but I think Tom is right that the pejorative gets placed against many midwest schools.
Again, hurrah for cornfields! @“Erin’s Dad” you might not remember, but yours was the first response on my “legendary” cool kids thread, and guess where she’s going?