My post-grad working son is still at home - because he is helping us take care of my 90-year old father living with us. We don’t charge rent because, overall, he’s pretty useful. My daughter, on the other hand, lives in another state and recently bought a house with her wife.
Guess it depends on the kid. I couldn’t imagine not wanting to get out on my own (and that’s what I did). Couldn’t envision buddies coming over and having some beers while watching a game at my parents house. Didn’t like knowing my mom would be waiting up until I got home (I do this now).
Probably has a lot to do with your upbringing. Parents were married at 19/20. Older brother left the house at 18 to go to school and married at 21 (btw - parents were married for 50 yrs before dad passed and brother has been married for 37. Interesting to note his kids are still around the house all the time). My dad’s idea of a summer break was graduate of Friday, start work on Monday, enjoy your weekend 
I would think if the kid can’t find a “real job” and they contribute either financially or by helping out, nothing wrong with it. But I would really question how hard they’re looking for that job (not big on excuses).
“Both of my kids were out of the house within six weeks after college graduation and never came back. I guess they’re outliers.”
In the USA? No, it is quite common. My own never came home at all after graduation segueing directly into their own living situations just as I did 3 decades ago. But, since this is a thread about adult kids living at home, naturally the shared stories reflect that.
I moved home with my parents for a few years after college. I banked money and bought a house for my 26th birthday. I’m on target to have it paid off by about age 50, I think. It definitely helped me set myself up in a good position for the future.
Whatever works for your family works. My 26yo still lives at home. I nag him for rent money that I put into a savings account he can access for that first/last month/ emergency car repair issues when they arise. Yes, I should not have to nag him, but I do. I assume in 10 years he will look back and be grateful I did and embarrassed he had to be nagged.
OTOH, we just repainted and did my 19yo Ds bedroom over. We discussed how she may not ever really live here again after this summer.
I couldn’t wait to get out of my parents’ house but it was not a good family situation. The only summer I went home was after freshman year and after that, I got jobs on campus and stayed at school. Definitely did not go home after graduation. Moved to a new city for grad school and then bought a house with my now husband.
We have a great relationship with our D, but she is an independent spirit and I can’t imagine she’d ever move back home after graduation. If she did though, she would certainly be responsible for contributing the household in some way.
I agree though that this is very family and child specific. No one size fits all and totally agree withe “whatever works for your family, works” statement!
My 30 year old daughter is living in my basement. She’s finishing up her PhD. Her stipend is so low, and the COL here is so high, that she’d be spending a huge portion of her salary on rent even on the most modest apartment. Living with us she has money for occasional travel and paying off her loans from her Master’s. Husband and I get to have a relationship with a child who spent the past decade living three thousand miles away. It’s nice for us to have this time together. I don’t charge her rent. I know she will move out when she’s financially in better shape and/or when she’s done with her degree.
I really enjoyed the two years our son was with us. We didn’t charge him rent because he was getting paid peanuts most of the time. (Internships.) The second internship offered him a job and he stayed with them to finish out a project, but by then he was so disillusioned with them that he quit. He decided to go into the Navy, spent months studying for the Officer Candidate Test, then it seemed like many more months before they actually sent him off to an OCS class. He was good company and had much better conversation than us, and we loved playing board games with him. We miss him! He’s a four hour drive away now and may be even further away in the future.
He helped around the house when asked, and when his girl firiend was around they often cooked us a meal together. He have a steep slope in the back yard which he made into a series of terraces, built a stair from big rocks and layed out what may eventually be a little patio. It was a lot of work and I’m very happy with how much better that area of the yard looks.
My parents got married at 18. I never spent more than a summer with my parents after I was 15.
I stayed at my folks home every summer during college and law school. I moved to my own apartment shortly after starting my law job — there was no room to unpack.
Our S lived with us for most of the year while he was waiting for his security clearance and to start his career. We enjoyed having him—he helped H and my folks with heavy cleaning and other tough jobs and was a joy to have.
He hasn’t lived with us since except for visits. D similarly hasn’t lived with us since going off to college except vacations. We miss them but think it’s better for them to spread their wings.
S1 came home after college graduation and stayed until he got engaged and established in his career. S2 moved out within weeks of HS graduation. D will be here this summer after college grad until her job begins in the fall. It’s all good to me. My children know they are always welcome in my home. I do expect them to work and help out.
My mom told my sister in no uncertain terms that she didn’t send her to college to move back home. Ouch! Consequently, she took a very iffy job in even iffier circumstances in Chicago. Nope.
I couldn’t wait to get out of the house. The house I bought in May didn’t close until Sept after college graduation. My parents charged rent, even though they didn’t need it, and I was saving every penny of salary for the new house.
Here’s my thoughts.
If the parents and adult child can live together both as adults, living their own lives while also assuming family unit responsibilities (laundry, groceries, shoveling snow or whatever!) and they are all in favor of the situation, fine.
But if the adult child comes back to live home and parents are still “parenting” to the degree of making all the meals, doing the laundry, staying up till adult kid gets home, nagging…and/or if the kid allows this all to happen…NOT OK!
We had one move back in for a few months. Maybe if we’d been in the house we’re trying to build, instead of a small guest apartment stuck in a shop building, we’d still be hanging out together.
Maybe though, it’s better that we were not, since he’s moved on and up. Happier and happy for him.
@PurpleTitan said:
This is just as true for daughters as for sons. I had a serious boyfriend when I moved back home after graduation. Living with my parents for 3 months (he did as well as we both had taken a year after college to travel to separate parts of the world and needed to save money after returning) put a HUGE cramp in my style, and I worked two jobs in order to save enough money to start living on my own. I could not get out of there fast enough, not just because of my boyfriend, but also for other aspects related to my social life and need for independence. My parents were probably just as happy as I was when I moved out for good.
Still have an objective of getting our older son out of the house. Nobody is doing much to achieve that objective. I did pick up a brochure at a nearby apartment complex recently, but I don’t even know how much rent they charge. We started charging our son rent a couple of years ago and he just said “fine” and has been paying promptly ever since. Maybe we aren’t charging enough! 
DD2 is living with us since college graduation. She has a good paying job while trying to figure out graduate school and her next step in life. We’re charging her minimal rent and contributing food/utilities/etc. and help out with house work.