Is the local kitchen builder an actual cabinet maker or just an installer of other companies’ cabinetry? The reason I ask is that we had our kitchen island repainted a few years ago (rest of cabinets are natural wood). We went back to the guy who built them as we know he does awesome work. He actually dismantled the very large island, took it to the paint room of his shop, repainted there, and brought it back and reinstalled it. It cost a little more this way but ensured a much better finish. The environment in the shop is controlled and dust-free plus they spray them so they get a very strong, smooth almost enamel like finish. As good as new. I would imagine there is a way of spraying on site as well requiring a whole lot of draping.
I would say they are designers/installers of other companies cabinetry?
And I’m being real here, I am not someone who would do well with the entire kitchen being a disaster for any length of time.
It’s all so overwhelming that clearly, I keep putting it off and making decisions. H could really care less - if the doors and drawers still open and close he’s satisfied. 
What I REALLY need to do - I’m so non-committal! - is to call a place or two in and just listen to what they have to say. Maybe I make myself call ONE place this week and see if I can line someone to come by and look. Ugh.
Could you test your idea of sanding etc. on the inside of a door? If you didn’t like it, you’d only see that side when the cabinet door is open.
And, you have my sympathies. I absolutely understand having a functional kitchen that needs refreshing. Ours is 20+ years old & needs a re-do. We keep postponing renovating because it’s very disruptive to daily living…(even though it would give the kitchen & us a new life ;~)
Good luck!
We went through a six week total gut and remodel kitchen about five years ago. It wasn’t that bad. We had the refrigerator, microwave, coffee maker in another room temporarily. It was spring so we could grill. Paper plates, etc. It was entirely worth it.
Ohhh. This thread reminds me of what a slacker I am. I am in the middle of doing the exact same “refresh.” I have also contemplated the order in which to do it all. I am painting my cabinets myself. I did the lower ones already…over a year ago. Because I take them outside and sand them, I have been waiting for good weather (that’s my story, anyway). I even bought a portable table to set up a painting area in the garage…last May. I kind of enjoy doing it, but I am not married so have no built-in helper and I work full time so it consumes all my weekends and time off.
I also need appliances including a drop in range that will need to go in when the counter tops do.
My most pressing need is new flooring, but I want to do it last. (I will not do it myself.)
And I cannot make a decorating decision to save my soul. I looked at floor covering at Lowe’s again today and still cannot decide. sigh
At least I’m not alone. 
I would prefer to do an outside of a door/drawer because that is where the “damage” in the finish is due to the smoke, cleaning products, etc. I really don’t think it could be a big fail to trial one. I could do a small section - like there is a lower section with one door, 4 small drawers that we could trial.
This might sound like a strange suggestion, but if you were willing maybe you could upload a picture of one of the doors to your profile picture. It might help others with suggestions, or to know what you are up against. Personally, if the cabinets were nice wood and of good construction, I would try refinishing. In our case, we have laminate cabinets, and while I have seen repainting projects online, I would never try something like that.
I did the total gut and new cabinet thing in the fall of 2016 – with new appliances in different locations, new lighting, wiring moving, a little section of new wall and the whole placed painted. New sink, appliances, countertops, tile etc. SO worth it – but my husband is in the business, so the contractors were falling over each other to do it right, on time, under budget etc etc. They treated me like a queen. I’ve been looking at model homes for the last 30 years – my house is 25 years old and it was built by his company but we were on a tighter budget at the time. He told me I could have whatever I wanted if it was available through his designer – or if I could buy it without breaking the bank.
I imagine for the general public this could be a nightmare. My advice is to not obsess over the minor details because new and fresh is going to look great. Spend a little more for better quality labor. Set up the separate kitchen before you start – and also do a purge. Do you really need all those mugs … etc?
This is timely - we are about to start work on a remodel of our 27 year old kitchen, long overdue. We have laminate contractor-grade cabinets, laminate countertops which are splitting apart and a well-worn linoleum floor. For the last 4-5 years, I kept saying at Christmas “this is the last time I will host Christmas Eve with this icky kitchen.” But I was paralyzed by about making all those decisions and moving forward, especially since the contractor who has done all the other work in our house has retired. And like you, the budget isn’t deep enough for those decisions to be care-free. Finally last year I took a step and started interviewing contractors. It took awhile to find the right one, but once I did he then recommended the cabinet source, and then from there everything started to fall into place and it didn’t seem so overwhelming. My advise is to just take those first steps, do your research and make a decision about the cabinets and then your excitement will grow while your fears abate. And I agree with the advise above to not obsess over the details, because whatever you do will look and feel great!
It’s good to know I am not the only one who stresses over making these kind of decisions. Count me in the group living with a terrible kitchen with falling apart laminate counters etc
I took a couple pics of my cabinets before I left this morning but can’t figure out how to change my avatar picture on CC through my iPhone…maybe I’ll try again at lunchtime.
Why not just take a door off and haul it to a cabinet place and see what they would do with it? They’d be able to see the finish and coloring first hand.
^Could do that. I’m SO not a reno person as far as knowing steps. I’m the decorating person! H does have more knowledge - but like I said, while he’s sort of willing, he isn’t stepping up with gusto.
I changed my profile pic - I’ll leave it up there for a day or so. H says they are made of maple.
Maple is a good hardwood- we used that with our major kitchen renovation (and rest of the house) when we bought our current house. Before redoing the doors I’ll assume the insides of the cabinets are in good shape and work well. Ours were not so it was a huge functional improvement to replace them.
Our kitchen was gutted, painted, ceiled changed to recessed cans from lowered tubes. Then tile replaced vinyl on the cement slab- it extends under the cabinets, without replacing cabinets the tile would have ended at the cabinets with an edging piece (as was done with newer vinyl in our old house).
The granite people were of course careful. I would not think competent tradespeople would damage cabinets et al. You need to vet your sources and sometimes not use the cheapest possible.
We have always just used the counter material 3" high backsplash. A backsplash to the cabinet level could be last- unless it is a matter of saving money on granite (quartz) by having a different material to the counter.
After all I have written plus others’ information the bottom line would be to consult with pros, get estimates and information from them. Staging things with the most visible/bothers you most first makes sense. The cabinets? They look like the ones we chose. Perhaps new counters and sink would make every day life more pleasant first.
In our location we went with Home Depot and Kraft Maid cabinets for our desired quality level. When we asked neighbors et al most seemed to have good experiences with the contractors they used. I went to so many kitchen/cabinet shops and was leery of quality at them I stuck with a major brand. But- if you already have better grade cabinetry it is worthwhile redoing just the doors.
You might consider hiring a kitchen designer to help you with the process. He/she could help with decisions on which steps go first as well as helping with decisions on redoing vs replacing cabinets and recommendations for counter/backsplash/lighting/floor choices. Also, designers with experience know the competant/reliable contractors in your area and can provide you with recommendations. Once you have a plan and know exactly what you want, you can save money by being your own general contractor.
Those look like pretty nice cabinets. Were you thinking about white? Maybe a whitewash stain or a light grey stain, which would still show the wood and not have the issues of paint? Something like:
http://ibgcs.com/white-stained-kitchen-cabinets/how-to-stain-kitchen-cabinets-without-sanding-staining-oak-cabinets-espresso-grey-stained-maple-cabinets-paint-or-stain-oak-kitchen-cabinets/
or this first one:
http://faced.me/grey-stained-kitchen-cabinets/grey-stained-kitchen-cabinets-what-brand-are-the-cabinets-wood-stain-glaze-grey-finish-kitchen-cabinets/
This order:
Paint wall space (not much of it due to mostly cabinets) Assuming above cabinets here.
Refinish or paint cabinets (I have never had anyone doing a counter top disturb the cabinets??)
Replace countertops
Replace sink - these two, counter tops and sink, basically happen simultaneously. You need your sink on the premises and ready to go when the countertops are replaced because fabricator needs model number (or access to sink, if vintage) to know what size hole to cut.
Replace backsplash (Cover your new counter tops with bubble wrap or cardboard for protection.
Potentially replace floor - always work top down in a room. Floors last, unless every square inch will be covered again with cardboard for protection. I just do them last.
Painting cabinets is expensive. I did a small kitchen last year and it was about $1100 just to paint. Spray them if you want a smooth look. We painted boxes and sprayed doors, due to the restraints in my job. Doors look better.
“Refinish or paint cabinets (I have never had anyone doing a counter top disturb the cabinets??)”
Sometimes, new countertops cannot be made the exact thickness as the old ones. That would leave some exposed wood where the old countertop covered it, so if that is the case, refinish should be done last. If I had refinished the wood in my kitchen before redoing the countertops, I would have had to call the finishers in for another round. I see that in the photo there is a phone cubby without backsplash where the countertop comes directly in contact with the wood (we had a couple of spots like that). So ask the designers!
^^And we have more spots where the counters have odd meet ups. I’ve actually thought of putting backsplash(simple white subway tile) in a couple of those areas like that that are small.
No staining cabinets for me - I don’t care for the look. While I’d really like white the expense AND my fear of imperfection as they wear scare me too much. No harm done in us trialing a small section of cabinets - even just a drawer or door first and then proceed from there. And call in a kitchen place or two just to see what they have to say.
I so, so want to redo my kitchen.
The problem is that I want to reconfigure it, not just do a cosmetic upgrade. Because doing what I want will be expensive–VERY conservatively $40K–I can’t afford to do it. So as a result, I haven’t felt able to do anything at all, since it would ultimately be a waste.
It really stinks to be so paralyzed.