Elite college admissions effect academic high achievers from middle class the worst. It’s way more stressful for that segment compared to others.
There are plenty of schools that do admit off of stats, but they may not be what the student/parents want. The process is entirely within the control of the student if the student wants it to be.
My daughter applied to only one school, the U of Wyoming. One of the most affordable schools in the country, for both instate and OOS. 95%+ admission rate. Great engineering school, beautiful theater and music building, D1 sports (free to all students), low cost for dorms and meal plans.
She had no stress when applying, I had no stress for the costs. She was just as happy as could be through the entire process. She took some classes at a city university one summer, and she loved that school too.
Some people are just easy to please.
It amazes me how in just about every thread, there are people who insist on blaming parents and kids for their own anxiety, disappointments, stress. Everybody’s situation is different. Sweeping condemnations are not helpful.
Wouldn’t it be great if those kids in Texas could/would take advantage of what the upstate NY schools have to offer? As the population languishes, some really great schools struggle with enrollment. Lots of opportunities if you can stand the cold! Lol.
Yes, the cold, and the transportation costs, and the out of state tuition (for SUNYs) are all barriers.
I’m in PA, so SUNY OOS tuition is about the same as Penn State in-state. Plus, SUNY Bing gave my kid enough merit aid to bring him down basically to in-state tuition.
Schools could cut down on a lot of the stress if they wanted to, but that wouldn’t benefit the schools.
- No wait lists. You are in or out on the initial applications.
- No free applications. You want a lottery ticket, you must pay for it.
- Post minimums for applications. No one below a 3.5, no one without a 1400 SAT can even apply. No hope, so don't apply.
- ED are in or out - no deferrals.
- Limit the number of applications to 8 private, 2 public. Choose wisely.
The knife would cut quickly. No stress or anxiety of waiting for a call for a last minute spot. If the school is 50 students short, it can open up applications again or make those spots up the next year.
Oxbridge doesn’t ask for personal, touchy-feely essays. My former DIL, a Brit, applied to Cambridge and said the “personal essay” was about why she was applying to study in a specific major. When she applied for a study abroad program in the US, she was utterly appalled that she was expected to write about her feelings!!!
@twoinanddone , those needing financial aid would be hurt by these policies.
We didn’t run into a single admissions office that we thought was not trying to get the best class assembled. I had twins that applied to six colleges each. I think today, more than when we applied, students have more leverage because of the common app and the avalanche of information available from the internet. Is the system fair? Probably not. But, nothing in life is absolutely fair. One has to be Zen about it and work within the system to make the best out of it.
I’m surprised so many posters here take the process so personally.
Well, for many posters, it is an enormous investment of their money and years in their children’s lives, so the stakes seem high, and the colleges themselves market the falsity that they are trying to create the “best” class, so that suggests a personal judgment.
@roycroftmom,
What evidence do you have that it’s a falsity? What do you think their true motivation is?
As the adults in the process, we should rationally know that it isn’t a personal judgment, though.
If the students/children catch on to even a whiff of the angst many of their parents express here, how can they not feel stress about it?
I’ve interviewed for plenty of jobs in my life and there is not a single time when I didn’t get hired (or get past the first round) where I took it personally. Honestly- life is filled with instances where someone else gets what you want… you can help your kids learn to move past it without so much angst.
The best class means that everyone can’t play cello and soccer. The best class means that everyone can’t be sports editor for the college paper- someone has to want to cover theater and dance. The best class means that everyone can’t be pre-med (except on CC where EVERYONE is pre-med except for the kids who want biomedical engineering and “know” they are going to get a PhD.)
But who wants to go to that college where nobody is playing the flute section of the concerto and you’ve got a bunch of cellos dolefully grinding out the piece written for an entire orchestra?
How is this personal?
There’s one school where I take it personally. The school that made us fill out extensive financial aid applications - my ex husband even had to pay his accountant to fill it out. And then we got a waitlist - for a kid who is well above their 75th% for numbers. And, it’s a school I never liked, but my kid did.
The rest I just have generalized animosity for. I have animosity towards the whole process.
@Trixy34 We were filling out the 13th and 14th extra pieces of financial info for Northeastern - (including multi-page ‘Business and Farm’ forms) two days before a rejection from them - and even had more contact from the financial department AFTER the rejection! lol
Yeah, see? Isn’t that aggravating? Are they need aware? I’m talking about Colgate - yes, you Colgate, who I did not realize was need-aware. That’s my fault. And, while we would have been full pay, they very well could have looked at our application and figured we were merit hunting, and they would have been right. Or, maybe they thought he wasn’t a fit, and the might have been kind of right there too because we visited in summer and his only impression of the student body was the tour guide. But he really liked the school a lot, and so there was a chance S19 and I would have talked his Dad into paying full freight had he been admitted. But once he was waitlisted, it was over for Colgate in his eyes.
At many suburban schools, the students themselves are highly aware of and invested in the process, even if the parents are not. Parental reassurances don’t always matter too much in the face of substantial peer pressure. I would appreciate it if colleges would be a bit more honest- they are seeking well qualified students who fulfill an institutional need, that is all. Yes, it is good for students to develop a thick skin and learn to handle rejection, but I too find the American process just odious-an enormous waste of time, money and effort compared to other countries, with not demonstrably better results.
I think that the colleges often make the decisions seem personal, due to the personal statements that they request. For students who are not naturally extroverted, the requested statements tend to seem like too much sharing of personal information with admissions committee members who are essentially blank walls from the student standpoint.
Then you also have the situation where a student who is exceptionally well qualified on academic grounds is somewhat unexpectedly rejected. By “exceptionally well qualified” I mean 2400 SAT I in one sitting, 2400 SAT II in one sitting (3 exams), 8 APs at the time of application, all 5’s, 4.0 unweighted GPA, Calc BC in 9th grade followed by university honors math, three languages, two to AP level and one taught only at the university, varsity sport, 10+ years of piano performance, state-level recognition though admittedly not national-level (with minor exceptions), actually an excellent interview . . . not my relative, but a student I know. Not too niche-oriented and not pre-med. At that point, it starts to seem as though the decision must have been based on some perceived personal factors–although of course no university has the “Fabulous Marching Pianos.”
This would not happen in Oxbridge.
"And, while we would have been full pay, they very well could have looked at our application and figured we were merit hunting, and they would have been right. "
Colgate doesn’t give merit aid, only need based aid. So how can you fault them for that?
“But once he was waitlisted, it was over for Colgate in his eyes.”
Again, it shouldn’t be taken personally. If Colgate was his top choice, I would have encouraged him to stay on the waitlist. Obviously, if he had better choices, that’s another story.