<p>Okay, everyone keeps critiquing your essays, which is great - it helps you write better. However, I think we can all agree that GPA comes first and foremost. In my opinion, Cal is 70% GPA, 15% ECs, and 15% personal statements. Your GPA is not bad, but it’s low compared to other applicants, so the admission readers will either look to your personal statements to make a decision or lean towards rejecting you. I say, get your GPA up to a 3.8 and your chances will increase greatly. Your ECs are good </p>
<p>I think prompt 2 is talking about too many of your misfortunes and too many of your extracurriculars. You talk about too many of your ECs and say short little things that don’t really mean much. For example, “From the Muslim Student Association to the student Rotary Club (Rotaract) to the Korean Culture Club, I began to enjoy my association and make contributions to student life on campus,” is really vague.I say focus on one misfortune and the extracurricular that made you change your perspective on that misfortune. That way it’s more concise.</p>
<p>I like the overall message of prompt 1. 
I love how you used stats to control your weight loss and segued into your love for the subject itself. The EXECUTION of the prompt, however, can be improved. You should add more detail about why you like statistics. You do a good job on describing how stats and weight relate, but talked very briefly on what you plan to do with stats academically and career wise. Also, polish the ending. </p>
<p>Good Luck Feel free to PM me</p>