Some schools offer merit and others don’t, so the “peer school” comparison isn’t a good one. Schools have different ways of determining who i a eligible and for how much as well, so while one school that offers merit may give your kid $30,000, another that has merit may offer none.
Most schools that offer merit have clear guides internally on who gets it. They do this for many reasons, including avoiding accusations that they are offering athletic scholarships or favoring one group of students over another.
If your DS committed to a school that does offer merit, I would reach out to admissions to see if he is eligible. It’s usually pretty clearcut.