<p>Too many big words. Too flowery. You write really long sentences. Avoid the passive voice. Avoid “;”.</p>
<p>Did they tell you why you weren’t admitted? You should respond to that. Explain why your previous courses weren’t as rigorous. Why did you take them? Why didn’t you mention your AP class enrollment in your original application?</p>
<p>What has changed about you? What have you learned? Ex: You learned you are capable of taking harder course work. You learned you excel when you challenge yourself. etc.</p>
<p>Attach a copy of your old application, your old transcript, and your new transcript. Don’t make them do any work to review your file. Review your old application for any grammatical errors or typos.</p>
<p>I’m impressed you’re making this effort. They will be impressed as well. Hopefully it will pay off.</p>