<p>Penny, you and your family are in my thoughts.</p>
<p>Sending you strength to make it through the next few weeks. (You will.) And wishes for a new year with the possibility of a smile or two, and maybe even some joy by the next holiday season.</p>
<p>Sending my thoughts for a restful period for you and your H and D. Time passing will make it less painful, but there will be bumps along the road, as you have just seen.</p>
<p>Stay strong. You have been amazing so far.</p>
<p>I, too, send warm, healing thoughts your way. I cannot begin to imagine how difficult and sad this season is for you and your family. Please be kind to yourself.</p>
<p>You are in my thoughts. My D had some issues with binge drinking in college. There is absolutely nothing you could have done to prevent this tragedy. I am so sorry for your loss of your precious son.</p>
<p>Penny- Many prayers are coming your way from me. Hold on to your memories. They will become your strength. This holiday season will be tough- but as you progress through it, you will find that your heart and your spirit are more resilient than you think. </p>
<p>May God bless you and your family. Cry when you need to cry. And do what you need to do to make this holiday season your son’s and your family’s legacy. </p>
<p>Peace be with you, Marianne (pipmom)</p>
<p>Sending you warm wishes for better days ahead. You are going through some very challenging times. Please help one another through it, so you will all emerge stronger and closer.</p>
<p>You are very strong and already moving forward in your grieving and healing process. Be kind to yourself and your loved ones. You WILL perservere.
Aloha!</p>
<p>Sending thoughts of peace and love your way. Hang in there.</p>
<p>hi all, </p>
<p>blugh. i’m now out of school and i don’t know how i’m going to make these next few days. i remember one Christmas when he was about 6 - early christmas morning, H and I were tip-toeing downstairs to lay out the presents and S had fallen asleep on the stairs in anticipation of Santa. it was SO sweet and such a “Hallmark” moment. i took a picture but i’ve lost it now and don’t know if i can work up the energy to go hunting for it…</p>
<p>in general, i’ve been doing better, though… as i said a while ago, Thanksgiving was so hard and i have a feeling Christmas is going to be the same. it’s going to be one of those “family” Christmases…i’m hoping i’ll have some time to sit around reminiscing w/ family members. and i hope that, just this once, the whole thing doesn’t erupt into a fight. i’ve always told mom i’d someday write a book about our various catastrophic family holiday get-togethers with chapters with titles like “the mashed potato Thanksgiving,” “the breast milk Christmas,” oy gevalt, don’t even get me started… </p>
<p>in other news, D’s home… she has a new boyfriend. i honestly don’t like him ('tis the season of frankness, right?) but i can tell they like each other, and that’s what’s important to me… He’s here for a few days and is returning home on Christmas Eve. D has mentioned many times that he’s a pretty heavy partier/drinker and i know i shouldn’t make judgments based on that but things like that give me the heebie-jeebies nowadays. she says he’s trying to coax him out of his bad habits. hope she succeeds. she also now has her ears gauged (is that what it’s called?) i GASPED when i saw it, my first instinct was to scream, jump on her and summarily RIP her earlobes off, but then I realized that in the big scheme of things, what do gauged ears really matter? she’s a GOOD kid and no matter how many unnecessary holes she puts in her ears, she’s my lovely, intelligent, wonderful daughter…</p>
<p>This x-mas will be hard for us and I know that so many others will be the same, but i keep telling myself it’s a time to remember the good and give thanks for the times we did spend together. i wish the happiest of holidays to all of you - here’s to a healthy and prosperous 2011 :)</p>
<p>penny</p>
<p>Bless you and your family.</p>
<p>That is such a sweet memory Penny…I could picture a little one waiting patiently on the steps to see what Santa left for him. It will be a difficult Christmas without your son but I hope you will be able to remember those sweet memories and cling to all the love. You are such a strong lady but I hope your family takes good care of you, your husband and daughter this Christmas.</p>
<p>Penny - thank you for the update. You are in my thoughts and prayers.</p>
<p>Oh Penny how my heart hurts for you and the memory of your son. Hold fast to those sweet memories and the love that death can not destroy. Take comfort in the presence of those you love (your DD gauges and all) who hopefully will be on their best behavior and get started on that book. I will continue to pray for comfort and peace to come your way.</p>
<p>Penny, I was so hoping to get a post from you. I am thinking of you and we can imagine the flood of memories and feelings you will experience over any major holiday. The image of your darling boy asleep on the stair is precious indeed. Complete that image for me by coloring in that he was loved, cared for, understood and supported and was enjoying growing up in your household daily. </p>
<p>I am sure you daughter also has your wit and she is working hard to fill that void from the painful loss of her brother with hard work and friendships and with just putting one foot in front of the other. She sounds like a peach and it is simply good that she shares with you the outlines of her current boyfriend’s issues. She is young and has a long time to sort out the big questions for her future but she has you as a sounding board in the present.</p>
<p>You are a wry writer and I hope you will continue to post on this thread to let us in on how things go in the weeks ahead.</p>
<p>Peace to you and yours from a fellow parent in Virginia</p>
<p>Peace to you, Penny.</p>
<p>Thanks for catching us up, Penny. We’re all thinking of you.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Was the gasp your only discernable reaction?! Because if so, you are amazing. I’m pretty sure I would have caused quite a scene which would have been exactly the wrong thing!</p>
<p>Penny, your DD is also feeling the pain of the loss of her dear brother. Sometimes when life feels out of control we reach for some small thing we can do that puts us back in control … maybe putting holes in her ears is her way of taking control of her personal situation. In any case, as you do realize, it is not a big deal in the scheme of things. </p>
<p>Blessings to you and your family as you struggle to find the balance between missing those you’ve lost and making new memories with those who still sit next to you at the table. This is my second Christmas in a row dealing with this (brother last Christmas, mother this Christmas), so I do understand … although I realize that the loss of a child is probably the most difficult loss of all. Remember why we celebrate Christmas in the first place, and take comfort in all that it means for your beloved son in terms of who is keeping him safe in His arms this holiday.</p>
<p>kelsmom, that was a touching post</p>
<p>Penny, keeping your family in my prayers. wishing you peace</p>
<p>Oh, Penny, my heart is breaking for you. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to go through the holidays. I hope that the times comes when those sweet memories bring you comfort instead of pain. And I hope that your family can be supportive and understanding.</p>
<p>Keeping you and your family in my thoughts, Penny. </p>
<p>Two years ago my mother, who was battling cancer, took a sudden turn for the worse and was in the hospital recovering from a major and painful surgery over Christmas (she died a month later). It was awful. I mention it only because its important to remember that not everyone is having a Currier & Ives Christmas. There are many families in pain, dealing with sadness and discord. Please don’t feel that your family is the only one or that it is somehow your responsibility to make everyone happy again on Christmas. </p>
<p>“Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There’s a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.”
-Leonard Cohen</p>
<p>(although I’m sure the light feels very very dim for you right now.)</p>