<p>Some of these are hilarious!!!
I can’t think of any to add though.</p>
<p>Oh wait. This was one my aunt did, but not really a lie. More like a trick.
Her kids would not want to eat the heel of the loaf of bread, so if she was making them a sandwich she’d put the outer part of the heel slice facing the inside of the sandwich. This worked especially well when using peanut butter because it’s about the same color as outer heel bread ;)</p>
<p>When my kids were little and asked for things like bubble gum or soda, I would tell them that they had to be 10 years old to buy it. Don’t know why, but they never argued with me.</p>
<p>Another “lie” was handed down by my mother. She used to tell my sibs and me to stick out our tongues when she thought we were lying. If we were lying, there would be a black spot on our tongues that only she could see. 
Worked like a charm, because the liar would always refuse to cooperate. I used the same trick with all my kids. My seven-year-old D still falls for it. :)</p>
<p>I love these…</p>
<p>My grandmother (late 80’s) must “hate” me (not really), but she just told my D that I’d spent the summer of my 17th year hitch hiking from So. Cal to Toronto and back! </p>
<p>I had one heck of a time explaining that “things were different” in 1975. I also casually told her I’d kill her if she tried a stunt like that!</p>
<p>Now I just hope no one tells her about Disneyland, July 4, 1976! (wink)</p>
<p>Times WERE different…</p>
<p>My son had a small stuffed animal that went EVERYWHERE. It was really worn out after years of being carried around. One day it was left in a Sag Harbor hotel and disappeared. We had both the town police and fire department looking for it, and when it was found, it was FedEx’d back to Colorado. We always said that the little critter got a first class seat back home. But one day the dog got it and ripped it into little pieces. And I mean LITTLE pieces. We carefully gathered up what we could, put it on the bedside table, and told our son that if he wished hard enough that the animal would be repaired while he slept. What he didn’t know was that when my wife saw how much that little stuffed animal meant to him when he first got it, she went back to the store and got another one just for such an event. When he woke up the next morning, there the little guy was, better than ever - just like new!</p>
<p>My mother once told me that he didnt drink until he was nearly 30…</p>
<p>then I found her sorority photos in the basement.</p>
<p>I am still laughing about the McNuggets being made from cats! I find that lie absolutely inspirational.</p>
<p>How I handled the constant pleading for McDonalds was using the truth-- </p>
<p>I clipped an article from the newspaper that discussed a lobbying effort on behalf of McDonalds to get more leniency from the feds for the % of “fecal matter” allowable in hamburger meat. </p>
<p>That did it. They never asked for McDs again.</p>
<p>When I was young and impatient, I had a little trouble potty-training my first child. At the time we lived down the street from a police and fire station, and my son was in that phase of thinking that they were the bad guys–the police were always chasing daddy to give him a speeding ticket, firemen start fires, etc.-- lots of sirens day and night. Anyway, the kid was almost 3, and I told him that it was against the law for 3-year-olds to wear diapers, so if he didn’t get trained before his birthday, the police would take him away and that would be a shame because they don’t let you have any birthday cake or presents in jail. . .
Worked instantly. A little too well.
I also told him that chocolate and oreos were only for adults–that little kids would get sick if they ate them. He actually believed this until he went to school and saw all the other kids with oreos. . .</p>
<p>SBMOM: Thanks alot, I can never eat a burger again…J/K…sort of.</p>
<p>I love the placebo story! That was awesome.</p>
<p>We love old scary movies and would watch one every saturday afternoon. The kids wanted to know why we liked “those old movies” and DH and I would reply “we are watching Uncle Vincent”. Lo and behold we forgot all about it but last year my youngest son (soph) was telling his football coach he was related to Vincent Price!</p>
<p>When my Ds were little, they didn’t like low-fat milk, so I would change brands, and sneak them lowfat from the different brand and they would say, this isn’t regular milk, and i would say, oh it is, just a different brand, and they would say, ohhhhh, and drink away</p>
<p>The toothfairy, what a horrid invention, no offence to those that made those little pillows, did the fairy dust, got it right each time without forgetting or waking anyone up</p>
<p>We once had to draw a map to Ds school as she lost the tooth on the playground so the TF could find our house…and I remember helping the first grade class make those tooth fairy pillows</p>
<p>How about this one?: Our family dentist told me to ditch the pacifier when my kids were 3 due to possible palate damage, so he suggested wrapping it up (in front of the kid) and putting it in the mailbox to mail to “a little baby who REALLY needs one”. My kids loved the idea and bought it hook, line and sinker!</p>
<p>
Bobbobob-
Your mother is a HE??? He/she must have had waaaaay too much to drink in his/her sororoty/fraternity! :D</p>
<p>I can honestly say I never lied to D - mostly because I’m a space cadet and know I’ll forget any lie I try to tell, and will only get into serious messes down the road - but - I absolutely DO still pretend there’s a Santa Claus, and that’s where Christmas presents come from, and, I always, always hide her presents until the middle of the night, just before Christmas morning, when I’ll load them all up under the tree. </p>
<p>This year though we were seriously short on time owing to travel schedules, and we only made it back to our home two days before Christmas, which meant we were in the same mall trying to shop at the same time. </p>
<p>We agreed to meet for lunch in the food court; while standing in line for one of the junk food places, D said “there’s a luggage store right there, you could go pick up the bag for whatshername on our list while I order our food”. </p>
<p>I agreed, ran off to the luggage store, and, not one to miss an opportunity, saw the perfect bag I knew D wanted, and bought it, in addition to the bag for whatshername on our list. </p>
<p>Imagine my frustration though when it turned out the store had only these plastic nearly see-through shopping bags. I feared D would see her gift right through the bag, so I asked the clerks to double bad the purchase, which didn’t really help much. </p>
<p>I rejoined D in the food court and somehow bluffed my way through lunch. Then we went to the ladies room, and when D was safely out of sight in a stall, I ran to the sink counter and began grabbing handfuls of paper towels and shoving them into the sides of the shopping bag to try to make it more opaque, and hide the gifts inside. Crowds of other shoppers began staring at me and backing off - they obviously thought I was stealing paper towels. I ignored them though and kept grabbing more and more paper towels and lining the shopping bag. </p>
<p>To quick for me, D appears out of no where and catches me, and starts laughing, saying “You’re not very good at this, are you?” she says. Caught and shocked, I looked up and stupidly said “I swear, it’s not what it looks like, I can explain”, and “I’ve been doing this for years”, I said, meaning one thing, but being interpreted very differently by the crowd of people still watching me and by this time looking at me like I was the worst kind of thief. </p>
<p>Once out of the bathroom and out from under everyone’s staring, I laughed so hard I thought I broke something.</p>
<p>I don’t know if this exactly qualifies as a lie, but it sure made my H squirm:</p>
<p>My H was driving my 2 kids somewhere when they were 7 and 4.
DD asks him, “Daddy, Suzie (9 yo neighbor) told me how baby’s are made.”</p>
<p>H replies, “uh huh.”</p>
<p>DD asks, “So Uncle Tom and Aunt Meg have done that 4 times?” (they have 4 kids)</p>
<p>H replies, “uh huh.” (thinking, why me- where is my wife?!)</p>
<p>DD asks, “And you and mommy have done that twice?”</p>
<p>H, “uh huh.”</p>
<p>DD says, “well, do that 2 more times so we get 4 kids, too.”</p>
<p>H says, “Ask mommy.”</p>
<p>galwaymom: </p>
<p>Things don’t seem to ever change…</p>
<p>When I was quite young but knew about sex (and thought the whole think sounded very yucky!!!) my friends and I used to sit in church and count how many kids each family had and whisper “Ooooh, yuck, they did it X times”. And if the couple wasn’t particularly attractive, we found it even yuckier!</p>
<p>I faked phonecalls all the time. Like if someone wanted to go to Baskin Robbins, I would pick up the phone, dial my own number, and then ask if they were open, and oh dear, they were just closing. :(</p>
<p>Years ago I was asked to teach a class on AIDS and the students–tenth graders found it terribly embarassing that I said something that implied that I’d had sex myself (I was then about 40, married with two kids). I said “you do realize that your parents have had sex at least once, right?” One girl said “how do you know that?!” in an indignant tone. I said “well, you’re sitting here, right?”</p>
<p>The entire class, as one, shook their heads in denial.</p>
<p>my younger D never really did beleive in Santa- very sad
We always go away for xmas & when we still put up a tree- Santa would put tinsel on it when we were gone- older D I think had more fun believing
Santa would also give seperate gifts- one year he got the 4-piece mug set at Costco.
When younger D was only about 5, we went to costco and it was well after xmas, several aisles down I spotted the mugs & quickly swerved away, but it was too late, she had already seen them and did not buy my explanation that Santa was the creator of the mugs.
However she believed in Polly and Patrick ( leprechauns) for a long time, and also the tooth fairy. Just not Santa.</p>
<p>My kids understood that Santa bought some stuff. In fact, we’d stand in line and try to guess which shoppers were actually “elves” in disguise.</p>
<p>Santa also used different wrapping paper from ours. i think it wasn’t until, oh about last year (the youngest was 20) that “he” gave that up.</p>
<p>My kids bought into it so completely that I used to worry that they’d grow up, have kids of their own, then be devestated on Christmas morning when Santa didn’t bring anything.</p>
<p>Was I the only one who as a kid never noticed that gifts from Santa were wrapped in the same paper as gifts from mom and dad? </p>
<p>(I know some parents wrap such gifts in different papers, but not my parents. And, some parents don’t wrap “santa’s gifts”.)</p>