I just reread your post where you divulge that your parents are Vietnamese immigrants (sorry I skipped that- I may have started my reply and finished it later without referring to the thread again). They faced many challenges with an entirely new culture and language along with not having any money or American job skills. You have the advantage of growing up here. It is hard for your parents’ generation to relate to your opportunities due to their refugee status. Some will have given up status and have skills they can’t use in the US due to regulations (such as licensure).
Keep up the academic work in college. Add to that activities that interest you. I understand now why you worry- but don’t. You have the advantage of understanding how two cultures work. Remember to choose the major and jobs that you feel good about without choosing something for the family. If you are interested in your major you will do best and likewise when it comes to jobs.
My son is now in his mid twenties, with a degree and well paid job. However, I am still curious to see the path he takes in the next five years. Let things unfold and the future will turn out.
I went on to grad school then graduated into a recession. One architecture firm in NYC laid off 300 people the week I graduated. I went off to the other coast where my boyfriend (now husband) was working on his PhD. His friends gave me an instant set of new friends. It took me a long time to find a job in my field, I worked part time as a librarian at Caltech (a job I loved) and part time doing graphics for an urban design firm (not so much) and about a year later finally found full time work. We got married moved overseas. Job hunting in a foreign language is a challenge, but I landed a job in Germany working for a medium sized firm. My 20s were actually an awful lot of fun. No kids, two incomes - we did lots of sightseeing, traveling and eating out. I didn’t find it hard to make friends, but I do think if I’d have been looking for a significant other that would have been much more difficult.
Looking at my friends and family - they had similar experiences except the ones with PhDs. They generally followed a pretty defined path. Post-doc, marriage to someone they met in grad school (often but not always a fellow student), then tenure track, some got sucked out at some point by bio-tech firms others stayed in academia.
I will say, if you are part of a couple. Someone will have to make compromises if you want to stay together. It doesn’t always have to be the same someone, but it’s very hard to find the perfect job in the same place at the same time. Children only make it more difficult.
Based on my life experiences, I say the best tool you can have is an open-mind. My career meandered and I was open to new paths. That openness to change began as a college student. I entered college as a music major and after taking my first art history course, I fell in love with it. Went on to a phd program with a specialty in 15th & 16th century Italian art, and more specifically, works of art on paper.
Like mathmom mentioned above, my post grad school options became more difficult because I married and my husband took a job at a law firm in New York. I didn’t have the freedom to pursue a curator position anywhere in the country, which would have been necessary if I wanted to stay true to my original dream job. Instead, I figured out what my best skills were and took a job at the leading and biggest independently held PR firm. It has a division entirely devote to Arts and Communication. Among my first clients there was the Vatican, NY Ballet Theater and some leading American interior design firms. After one move to another PR firm with similar clients, I switched my career entirely, moving into interior design. Eventually, prompted by having kids and wanting to be more in control of my schedule, I founded my own company with a partner. So, while I’m not the curator I’d thought I’d be, in essence, I’m curating homes, advising people on art, textiles, furnishings, and loving it.
So my mantra: keep an open mind, develop skills that cross over to different fields (in my case: writing, organizational, visual, communication), and enjoy the ride.