@coolweather, the OP specified not intense due to anxiety issues. Pomona is pretty intense.
Look at Lawrence. I don’t know how intensely intellectual the student body is, but it’s laid back, with strong physics and music.
Caltech (the “drinking from a fire hose” school) would be even less suitable than Chicago or Reed if they are unsuitable due to being “grindy”.
Unsuitable for a student with strong interests in math and physics (check the course catalog).
What state is he a resident of? At least some state flagships offer strong departments for intellectually oriented students in their majors, without being too “grindy” overall. I.e. he can choose highly rigorous and advanced courses in areas of his interest, without having to have every course be that type of course.
He’s in a western state that is part of WUE (not CA). He has an expansive intellectual curiosity that goes beyond the technical. Maybe Barrett Honors as ASU might be worth a look.
Yes, I was going to say an honors college at a state school. Do your homework, though. I have a friend whose daughter was in the honors engineering college at Illinois and it was very stressful to keep her GPA high enough to remain in the college.
Barrett Honors is a great idea. I don’t think it’s been mentioned yet but St. Olaf should also be considered if math is his thing.
Unfortunately, not part of WUE despite being in CA, UC Santa Barbara’s College for Creative Studies - “a graduate school for undergraduates” - offers math as one of its eight majors.