<p>Yes, “unsafe” is in the eye of the beholder. As is “crappy apartment.” </p>
<p>One of the reasons we chose public rather than private schools for our kids was because we did not want them to only be around affluent kids. We live in a town with a lot of socioeconomic diversity, and when the kids you see walking down the street are obviously not as affluent as the kids in your classroom, I think there’s a problem with that. (Also we did not want them to feel poor because we didn’t take twice-yearly vacation trips or own a second home in Tahoe.)</p>
<p>@dustypig, we actually found that there was more diversity in a local private school. The kids in our local public school are relatively affluent, but with a substantial endowment and generous donations, the private school’s scholarship programs increased diversity. </p>
<p>Obviously, every community is different. The private schools where we live have very little socioeconomic or ethnic diversity–neither do most of the suburban schools. The city schools, on the other hand, are more diverse than most colleges–even those that can afford to devote resources to URMs and low-income students.</p>
<p>Fear of crime may not be just about racism, even though racism can be part of it (and the part that tends to get the most attention). Many current parents grew up in the 1970s to early 1990s, when crime levels were much higher than they are today. People who grew up during that time may have internalized an assumed level of crime that is much higher than it actually is, resulting in greater fear of crime for any given situation.</p>
<p>About my car payments, around $1000 per month for two. One is a minivan (DVD player is required if you drive to Florida from NYC, trust me if you want to keep the kids alive) and one is a sedan that has to be big enough for five.</p>
<p>Our last minivan lasted over 200,000 miles and 11 years. We had 4 years of car payments, around 500 per month. We had to buy a new one two years ago, and I gave our old one to my brother who still uses it. </p>
<p>My spouse’s car had 170,000 miles on it, and was 10 years old. Payments were around 300 per month for three years, but it was not big enough for the whole family, which is now a requirement.</p>
<p>IMHO, we aren’t stupid about car purchases. We buy new from companies that have excellent high mileage recommendations. Also, for both of our previous cars, the manufacturer did a transmission replacement for free, out of warranty. Probably $8,000 total cost saved.</p>
<p>Yes, I drove a clunker when I lived with my parents. I was lucky to have a car. I doubt my son will get a car, and really the only reason I had one was because my older siblings could afford new cars when they were living with mom and dad after college for free. Note also my dad could do a lot of work on the cars, although my spouse and I can work around the house with no problems, we don’t know much about cars, especially the new ones.</p>
<p>(One of the clunkers we had caught fire in front of my aunt’s house. Really scary. I think it was around 15 years old at that point. Probably influenced me buying new cars when I was able to. My first car that was mine and not shared with my brothers was from my parents for a dollar. My next car as well. I suppose driving a clunker is more exciting…)</p>
<p>I have on 18-year old car with 180,000 miles, probably worth $500 without A/C. Kid #2 drives to school less than a mile. She was not allowed to drive it further than our town. We use the car to go to the dump and transport construction material.
Kid #1 used to sleep in a crappy mattress at her school fraternities so she could be closer to her internship. The area is known for bad area.
On the other hand, my family spends on average $20k-$25k vacation per year. Hey we value our vacation time together.
I have never live below my means, rather I tend to make more than I can spend is my motto.
Just want to add everybody has different value system.</p>
<p>@IxnayBob and @jym626, I’m sure many, maybe most, private schools have diversity as a goal. I doubt they rise to having 2/3 of their students being low-income, or having 25% of them be undocumented, which is the case at my kids’ school. I was serious when I said that this was about wanting my kids’ school to be reflective of the community in which we live. If we lived in a different community I would no doubt feel differently. And I certainly wasn’t making a blanket statement about all private schools. </p>
<p>And if we lived in a community where I had serious concerns about the public schools – either the quality of education, the ability of the schools to keep the kids safe, or even just whether my kids would be happy and would thrive there – of course I would look into private schools. </p>
<p>It’s an interesting question whether public colleges might be more or less diverse (both ethnically and socioeconomically) than private colleges. As with so many other issues, I imagine it varies by region/state.</p>
<p>For ethnic diversity, remember that state schools do tend to draw mostly in-state students (and mostly local or regional students in the case of non-flagship state schools). So their ethnic diversity tends to be related to the state or local ethnic diversity (or lack thereof). Private schools do tend to have a stronger draw in their regions, but not as restrictively based on state lines as state schools.</p>
<p>However, one class of public schools, the military service academies, has an application system that involves getting appointments, usually from members of Congress. This tends to generate an applicant pool of widely distributed origins within the US, so geographic diversity, and ethnic diversity to the extent that it is related to geographic diversity, tends to be fairly representative of the US as a whole (though not perfectly, due to variations in interest and qualifications among and within the various districts).</p>
<p>SES diversity can be related to various factors:
Cost and financial aid.
Admission requirements (more requirements like recommendations, subject tests, etc. can be barriers to low SES first generation students).
Admission selectivity (more selective is often harder for lower SES applicants to be admitted).</p>
<p>grew up in the 1970s to early 1990s, when crime levels were much higher than they are today. People who grew up during that time may have internalized an assumed level of crime that is much higher than it actually is, resulting in greater fear of crime for any given situation. </p>
<p>Wait, some of us may simply be aware of what crime stats and the continuing potential ARE in some areas. D1 found a listing for an affordable place, I looked at the map. Not all areas since the 70’s have been gentrified and not all folks just refer to the past. </p>
<p>They live in New Jersey in a town with a great school.</p>
<p>Their HH income was $220k/year.</p>
<p>They managed to save $150k over many years, earmarked for college and also for “emergency funds.” They have three children so that wouldn’t pay for all of it, but it was a nice chunk.</p>
<p>Then her husband lost his job.</p>
<p>He was unemployed for four years. My sister went back to work but could only make $20k. They could not find a cheaper place to live without leaving their school district, and since one of their children has some special needs, this would have meant a huge upheaval for him to change districts as well, not to mention the costs of moving, which are also not cheap.</p>
<p>So, they started using their emergency funds so they wouldn’t lose their home.</p>
<p>Years went by, and they lived as frugally as they could but by the time her husband was employed again, they were in significant debt and has spent down their $150k savings. But they still had their home and their kids could still go to the same school.</p>
<p>Now my brother-in-law is reemployed, making about $175/year. Their oldest is a senior and a terrific student. They will not receive financial aid because of their high income. Yet they have no savings and a lot of debt to pay off. So there is really no way they can afford any college for her right now - except for community college. I had recommended Questbridge to them back when my brother-in-law was still out of work, but now they won’t qualify. My niece has a 2050 SAT score and a 4.2 GPA, and will probably be going to community college next year unless she can get a scholarship to another school. But even if she does, affording things like books and travel expenses is practically impossible for them now.</p>
<p>I can totally understand how a family would make the choices your relatives did. For one thing, no one expects to be out of work for four years, and a lot of us assume when we do find another job it will be at a similar salary to the one we lost. And it’s easy to underestimate how housing/living costs can eat up savings.</p>
<p>But now that your BIL is working again, why can’t they sell their house and move to a cheaper place or an apartment? He again has a really high income for a lot of places. Or can the college-bound daughter work to help defray costs while she is in CC?</p>