@proudNVdad, I don’t want to be rude, but it has been pointed out repeatedly that with an ED application already submitted to St. Olaf the OP’s daughter will not be able to compare Earlham (or any other school) to SO. The decision will be binary. Either SO will give her sufficient financial aid, in which case she is bound by the ED agreement, or they will not, in which case she will turn the offer down and start comparing her remaining offers.
@Sue22 You are correct. ED is for people who have their mind made up. I’m not going to parse OP’s words, but the tenor of many of her posts is that she isn’t sure that her daughter will attend St. Olaf even if it accepts her and meets need as per the NPC. If that is the case, it seems like the right thing to do is send a very nice email to St. Olaf requesting that her application be placed in RD so that she can have the option to visit prior to making a final decision.
actually I’m starting a new thread on my question.
A bit off topic but @Grinnellhopeful if you are looking for a way to thank the guidance counselor nothing would be more meaningful than writing a heartfelt thank you note when the process is over and your D has deposited at a college. And if your D feels it is appropriate she could also write a thank you to the guidance counselor as well as the teachers who wrote her LORs (and let the teachers know what college she will be attending).
@BasicOhioParent @Sue22 my D made up her mind when she signed the ED agreement. Just because I really like a school doesn’t mean that she’s going to be willing to pull her ED application. It was not me who mentioned pulling her ED application ever in this thread. At the end of the day it’s still her decision. But many here think it’s unlikely she’ll get it in to StO.
I hope that makes sense. I am not the one who put the thought process of pulling her app into this thread but it is somehow associated with me.
@Sue22 If by chance she were to get a package that did not include any loans and she got that package prior to an acceptance and financial package from her ED school. She can consider it. I don’t know how it is at every school but I confirmed this yesterday after all the discussion on this thread that I thought was so much unnecessary. And that’s always going to be what I would recommend someone do, if in doubt contact the school. I still need to preface this that it’s highly unlikely she would get an offer of the did not include loans, let alone before her package from StO, if she even gets in.
@happy1 I have been doing that already. I send updated list of acceptances and merit, and express my gratitude over and over. One of the things that I hope comes out of my daughter’s journey as the more children at her school get some guidance regarding other options. Her GC has taken this journey with me.
But I still feel like something more formal should happen when my D has an absolute commitment to a school.
Kudos to her GC for being open to this process. There are other students at our school that could see the world is bigger and may actually be able to attend some schools that meet full demonstrated need, if they have the guidance, we didn’t have.
That would be an amazing outcome.
@Grinnellhopeful, I’m a little frustrated. You keep insisting that your daughter would not break an ED agreement but then seem to indicate that if she gets a better offer she can consider it, even if she gets an offer from her ED school that covers full need, albeit in part with loans. Perhaps I’m misunderstanding.
If what you’re saying is that she should keep working on lining up the best backup offer she can in case ED at SO doesn’t come through I agree. If you’re saying that she can reject an offer she could have accepted in the absence of a better offer, then no, I most vehemently do not agree.
I don’t think “many here don’t think she will get into St. O”. I think many think that her stats are fine, but there IS a risk because of her high need, and they are not a need blind school.
I don’t know if this has come up before, but does she have any issue with the slight religious flavor of St. O? It isn’t a Liberty or Hillsdale or Spring Arbor or Pepperdine by any stretch of the imagination, but there is are a couple of bible/theology course requirements for graduation. An adamant non-believer might not feel fully comfortable there. I’ve knows quite a few kids who went to St. O (my kid’s HS was a feeder for them, always a few every year). Most seemed “middle of the road” in terms of religious belief. But just curious whether your D has considered that part.
I am going to say your constant calls and updating of other admisstions to St. Olaf may not be helping your D’s case. A high maintenance parent (and one who seems to be trying to split hairs on the FA package) isn’t really helpful to getting your kid admitted.
I agree with @intparent . I mentioned pages ago to stop calling StO.
@intparent you bring up points My D and I touched on when we began to make a list of places to apply. She would probably consider herself agnostic. I’ve always felt like she needed to make that choice for herself regarding faith.
I had suggested some catholic schools and she was very opposed. She got a ton of recruitment material from Wheaton but tossed it.
She did a little research on her own about StO and if she would be forced or pressured to engage in religious activities, or if she would feel out place because she didn’t. I don’t know what she read but untimely felt it wouldn’t be an issue.
She wasn’t thrilled about the religion class until she and I discussed it from a historical view point. If you approach it from that angle it can be fascinating.
In regards to Earlham, she communicated directly with AO and asked very good questions regarding Quaker values and how that plays into everyday life on campus (I was quite proud of her insight and questions, she forwarded the emails to me after she did it). It just so happens that the things she longs for mesh with Quaker values. And it feels like the least religious, religion.
To your other point the phone call might it might not be quite what you’re envisioning. I don’t update them with other acceptances, lol. That is our GC who gets the updates from me.
But there have been many pages of information regarding work study, what she’ll need on hand in cash she when she arrives for books, etc. I was also worried about the deposit.
I got answers to those questions that were not available on the website. Most of the conversation yesterday was with FA. For example the deposit if accepted is due 2/19,and apparently kids that qualify for Pell on,y have to send $150.00…this was a relief.
How things are billed including books when she hasn’t started work study was also answered for me and brought great relief. So,stokes those answers need to come from the school before one panics and maybe decides they can’t do it…and we were in that situation the other night after reading some responses to those topics.
And if in doubt about the ED agreement and what the school would consider ok if she had other offers in hand the best source is the place you signed the ED agreement with.
That question was asked because it needed to be asked. I had so many people hammering me about what was ethical or expected under an ED agreement with out financial situation and potential packages that might arrive before their’s did.
I needed to know what would be fair to consider…as some were adamant I couldn’t consider a package with less loan if it arrived before the ED package.
One thing many people don’t know is some schools do share lists of ED students with other schools. And for some schools it is just an honors thing. It’s best to be careful. I think the OP daughter is fine to consider earlier offers of admission as long as it is before the ED is released…afterwards could prove devastating if schools are talking then you run the risk of schools pulling offers.
Personally…I would not be asking questions to the ED2 school about their policies about considering other offers. When you apply ED…it’s because that school is NUMBER ONE. Asking about anything related to other schools sure doesn’t give the ED school the sense that their school is number one above all others.
But what’s done is done.
So…now…just wait.
@Veryapparent That situation would never happen. I even asked yesterday what needed to be done to ensure all apps were pulled if she got accepted. I’m trying to proactively think ahead, so that we can do the right thing and not accidentally miss something. All of her applications aside from the state school were done for the common app so I should be able to keep track. We did not withdraw her state school acceptance but I did finally request the refund on the deposit for housing because she’s going to need it somewhere else.sadlly, they said it takes 6-8 weeks.
Actually what I meant is if a person was attempting to get out of an ED acceptance it might be communicated to other schools they have applied to. Some schools share names of ED applicants. If the other schools felt this wasn’t done in good faith they can rescind their offers to the same student. I am definitely not saying you are doing this but thought it was good information for the thread.
Agree. Please relax. There is no time pressure now.
If St. Olaf admits with FA matching the NPC, then your daughter matriculates to St. Olaf and is done. Otherwise, she has until May 1 to decide (and may have to wait until April 1 for other decisions and FA to compare).
So just sit tight and wait for St. Olaf. In the mean time, if Earlham delivers a good affordable FA result, then you can relax even more knowing that she has a safety in Earlham if St. Olaf does not admit with FA matching the NPC.
@Sue22 I agree that the OP’s daughter is bound to attend St. Olaf.
I was trying to get the OP to realize that while Earlham is a great school, it might not be a better school for her daughter than St. Olaf. The OP’s post from this morning (#837) about talking points to get her daughter to think seems like an attempt to convince her that Earlham is a better choice. This might just create unwarranted doubt and pressure for her daughter.
A bit ironic to twist and parse the ED agreement until it is without meaning to attend a school that espouses Quaker values.
@proudNVdad You missed the part of the post that the discussion happened prior to signing the ED agreement.
It happened during the time when we were coming up with a list of places to apply, and I had suggested some catholic colleges. Then StO convo regarding religion happened prior to signing the ED agreement.
ETA: I’m referring to post 850
Please don’t be so quick to judge.
I’m becoming frustrated because this all stems from a hypothetical response to @homerdog yesterday. NEVER did I EVER say anything about breaking an ED agreement.
My D certainly hasn’t said anything. She’s is hoping for a positive response and FA package from StO
But the barrage of ED agreement posts made me think about what I was reading and created questions I wanted answers to.
I haven’t even mentioned it to my D. I have some things I would like to discuss with her tomorrow…but don’t put attribute another comment from someone else to me and especially not my D.
It’s my nature to think of what if’s now, many of you instilled that in me.
My D chose StO ED because she felt it was an amazing place to be and per the NPC it seems affordable.
I, as the parent LOVE Earlham. And it should be the schools she goes to if she doesn’t get accepted to StO with a workable FA package. But I don’t even know if she’ll just decide to go to Knox because she thinks she’s drawn to it and take huge loans out, or as she and I both discussed, going to a different state school and living at home because that will be all we can afford.
I don’t even know who brought up her ED agreement when I shared she got into Earlham?
She may get into a few more before 2/1…but there is no need to revisit this every time she gets an acceptance.
I took the advise given and she widened the net, a few more may shake loose. But that doesn’t change her top choices.
The rapid-fire postings and replies may be confusing some readers about the ED and other issues.