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1181

@Sue22 It’s not quite as simple as that sounds, regarding feeding her and electricity, etc.
If you only knew how modest my expenses are in my home, not to mention that I am right off the bat losing $6000 a year in July that helps with her expenses and even some household expenses.

Coincidentally her FA officer informed me today, she could bring her car to campus, as that will help cut down on travel expenses. I assumed based on information from the website and here that she wouldn’t be able to take it.

But in the long run it might save her money to take it and she can. Her car insurance is not as expensive as you might think and is cheaper than a few plane rides home.

And she gets 40 miles a gallon in the city so gas will not gonna be significant. She just needs to get comfortable driving on the highway.

I don’t think it’s that I didn’t give them full information but they maybe didn’t put that piece together about me losing money in July. I’m not sure that it would’ve made much of a difference because her EFC is still zero with or without that money that we’re losing in July

1182

@Momof2girlsandafrenchie, without getting into the weeds, by significant do you mean more than $2-3K/year as that could easily be made up depending on what is and isn’t included for each?

As I noted before, the 4-year graduation rate delta is almost 25%, 85% vs 65%, if 1/3 of the students take more than 4 years to graduate it could result in others unintentionally doing the same; this is a big reason why many don’t graduate in 4 years at state schools - they go around saying “I’m on the 5-year plan” or “I’m on the six year plan”.

See attached retention and 4-year graduation rate comparison analysis from St. Olaf vs other Midwest schools https://wp.stolaf.edu/outcomes/retention-and-graduation-rates/

1183

I feel like you may need the FA office to line up all of the expenses for you to the best of their ability. Do the grants and the $5500 loan add up to cover all tuition and room and board? And then work study is for everything else? If that’s the case, start getting good estimates on the “everything else”.

1184

A couple of thoughts.

1.there ARE things in the cost of attendance over which you have control. Travel is one. Books, personal expenses, discretionary spending. These are ALL within your control.

  1. Is health insurance cost included in the St O cost of attendance? I believe you mentioned that you planned to keep your daughter on your plan at home. If you waive the SO health insurance, will that reduce the billable costs?
  2. Maybe I missed it...but does your daughter have a job lined up,yet? I know she had some IB tests or something...but this is something that could help.
  3. You mention things like study abroad, etc. you know...one of my kids didn’t DO a study abroad. The other one did, but the costs for that semester were LESS than the college costs...including travel expenses. Check that out...or think of other ways to fulfill that abroad study desire.
  4. Many colleges that meet full need still expect a student contribution of some kind. It sounds like this is the case with St O.
  5. I know you have a business, and other kids...but could you pick up a part time job to help fill the SO gap?

If the additional loans are $5000 more than the Direct Loan…then maybe this is just unaffordable. If the gap is $2000, seems like this is where student work could potentially fill that gap…but she needs a job if that is the case.

1185

I just got some clarification on other costs. The fee is comprehensive and covers even the movie theater. We just may have an issue when she goes abroad depending on which program that is. And there’s probably scholarships to help cover what would be left beyond her tuition.

The same thing with any choir trips. But I forgot to ask if there’s a cost for choir uniform, I mean we already pay that now, I assume there is some small cost involved.

Health insurance was not included in her package, but it would be billed and then waived upon proof of health insurance.

To address what is significant for us vs someone else is futile. You just can’t compare.

I have also clarified with the financial aid office that at most she might need to borrow 1000 be on the 5500 the first year. Or let’s just say she can’t borrow more than that. I may be overthinking some things. If she runs into issues with being able to afford something she just needs to go to the financial aid office. They will help her work it out.

At some point I guess there’s a leap of faith involved. She has not been able to find a job as of yet, and as a matter fact my other daughter just lost her job this week. She was working as a server and helped with catering events. This was a potential job lead for my daughter this summer. It’s just not so easy in my area for young people to find work.

There’s a lot of valid points made here. And I might just be terrified, because I’m on mom and I’m feeling a little helpless and powerless because I don’t have extra money.

To answer the question about my ability to pick up a second job, trust me that’s something I think of often. But I can’t, without going into details about the nature of my business, I work whenever I have business, the last few days have been crazy busy, I earned enough in two days to cover my rent at my shop location. But I had 10 days this month where I was scared to death. If I had another job I wouldn’t have been able to take this businessI had the two days prior.

I can’t afford an employee right now.

I think I am overthinking. I think I am just afraid that she’s not going have everything that she needs and I’m not going to be able to get it to her.

I’m either overthinking or I am not prepared enough. I can’t decide which it is. My daughter takes her early decision
agreement very seriously, She is trusting that it will work out so I suppose I should trust her.

If she doesn’t earn enough over the summer to fill that gap, She can borrow more. But the financial aid officer said it would only be 1000 more. Still doesn’t quite make sense to me based on the numbers but I’m still somewhat new at reading these packages.

It doesn’t matter which residence hall or which meal plan she’s on, the fee is comprehensive and covers it all.
If she chose to pursue an honor’s house the next year, the cost could be less.

I did confirm there were not extra fees for any of her science courses, there could be additional fees if she were to take some of art classes or something.

The financial aid officer said if there’s a month that she’s having trouble with the cost of her prescription because even they admit that it’s pretty expensive, she just needs to go to financial aid and talk to them. I don’t know for sure what they mean by emergency funds but they have some programs in place. She just has to feel comfortable going to them they’re not going to seek her out.

Of course I don’t want her to borrow more than the federal limits every year, but maybe she will have to, we will just cross that bridge when we come to it. It’s still significantly less expensive than our state school, or any other packages she’s been offered, except the one.

1186

Is she eligible for any local scholarships? Know at our senior awards night some students walk away with a couple thousand dollars from small scholarships that add up = Rotary, Kiwanis, local high school awards etc.

1187

Check with the college first. At some schools…those outside scholarships will reduce the need based awards the student receives from the college. The college won’t award need based aid that exceeds the cost of attendance…and these extra scholarships could be over that limit.

1188

Do what financially makes the most sense for you and your daughter. If that means choosing Earlham, then it’s your right to do so. Good luck!!

1189

She just paid her deposit. At the end of the day it was her choice, and if she has to pay a little more, she’ll pay a little more. I’ll just spend the next five months freaking out.

1190

Think twice about the car. Remember, the December break…and even Thanksgiving are in the winter. What happens if there is a snowstorm on the day she needs to drive one way or another.

Didn’t you say there was a bus?

1191

It sounds like St O understands how tight this is, with recognizing some months it could be a question of affording meds or not, and understands it will need to work with you. That is a good sign. They are not turning their back. And the comments about only an extra $1k in borrowing first year sounds very manageable. Hugs.

1192

I think St. O will work with you and daughter on finances over time (especially if your daughter is as conscientious as she seems and is able to keep her grades up) because St. O will want to keep thier retention/graduation rate high. It wouldn’t behoove the school to admit a student that can’t continue because of finances.

1193

HOORAY – I just read that she paid the deposit. Congratulations, to you both, This has been an incredible 2 months since the ED1 decision, and this is a phenomenal outcome. The money will work, St O has shown it is ready to make it work. It is not perfect, but it is very very good. Breathe, and celebrate tonight with your daughter on her amazing accomplishments.

1194

Sounds like a decision has been made. I wish her all the best. Sounds like things will work out just fine. Now try to relax a little:)

1195

@citymama9 Relax? lol
I’m still incredibly stressed and concerned. I’m focusing on stuff like her medicine and her personal care items. I just had to go with her on this. And I really didn’t say the things out loud that I’m saying here because I don’t want to terrify her. There’s a little bit of faith involved in this.

I think the one thing that gives me less pause it is StO does know how to meet full need. They have been doing it. They understand much better than I do. Where I see lots of variables, they don’t. But I don’t do this every day, thank God…

And I have been getting caught up in the work study piece at every school FA package I look at.
Because the FA package is presented differently at Earlham, I personally think it’s easier to break it down.

And please don’t anybody misinterpret what I’m saying I am not saying that my daughter should not do work-study, nor am I saying she should not work during the summer. That was never my fear here.

And the other thought that I had when I called the financial aid office a second time to clarify because I hadn’t heard from her AO…It’s not like the school is getting a bunch of out-of-pocket money for my daughter to attend. It’s not like the school needs her grant money to fill seats, and as someone else mentioned they want to keep their retention and graduation rates high. It seems unlikely they would try to pacify me or give her a package that is not workable only to have her leave because we can’t afford it.

Also, at the end of the day this is her decision, her education, her money. I’m not going to school with her.

We have been so blessed to get the acceptances she got and than to get not just one but two packages that really even make it possible for her to attend college.

I’m just a mom who is now at the next phase of this, I’m worried about her, I feel a little powerless to help her because my own financial situation is precarious. I would seriously sitting here worried about her being six hours away, and she doesn’t have enough money to run up to Target to get shampoo and deodorant and fill her prescription, and me not having enough money to transfer into her bank account.

I’m pretty sure I’m going to have that fear wherever she is.

And I am a worrier by nature.

Maybe it’s just this first year that will be hard, because she’s probably going to have the opportunity to make better money over the summer there than she will here?

I just don’t know what this looks like, I haven’t done it before. When my son went to school he went to school 35 minutes away for me, I took out a parent plus loan, he now works as a server and I now have a pretty big bill. But if he needed food he could drive home, if he needed laundry money, he could come to do laundry. I also wasn’t in as bad of shape financially then.

I’m still not seeing how the numbers work. I’m still worried. But if she’s going to have faith then I have to have faith. I can’t let my fear bleed over to her.

1196

@Momof2girlsandafrenchie, such great news for your DD. Time to exhale, if only for a minute.

Yes, she’s made a great decision for the next stage in her life. As parents we help grow them, but now it’s time for them to fly - even if our wing is still hovering below to make sure they don’t fall, they are still soaring on their own.

And agree, that St. Olaf wouldn’t take her, or you, down this path without them being there as they understand the challenges, whether financial or personal.

It’s a great outcome IMHO.

1197

Seconding @Chembiodad’s post – you are not alone in transitioning, in one breath, from the worry about whether they get in, to the worry about money, transportation, and all the other details about sending them off to the next stage. It will be okay, and it will work out. There may be some bumps, I think most of us who have been through it would agree. But the joy of seeing them happy in their new “home” is irreplaceable. Enjoy this glorious success, raise a glass to toast each other tonight, and come back here to share the worries, so that you don’t have to worry her.

1198

@Midwestmomofboys, I love the new “home” comment, as our DD’s said that exact thing when we brought them back to Hamilton after winter break - we knew what they meant as they aren’t leaving our home, they are just adding another.

@Momof2girlsandafrenchie. and yes worry with us, as your DD will have a full plate and a half at her new home.

1199

I believe that students get a discount on Amazon Prime, if you do not already have an account. 2 day shipping. I suggest you look into that. If she has to do without shampoo for a couple of days, it won’t be the worse thing to happen. She will learn, you will learn to let go and let her figure things out. My D will be 3000 miles away next fall. Incredibly smart kid who will probably end up wearing dirty clothes more than once due to her procrastination. I have had her take care of her laundry the past few summers while in HS, and she failed miserably. But, at least she knows how to do it.

1200

I hear your concerns. I just have some questions. When you say that Work Study goes towards college bills does that mean she has to pay them upfront (before she starts earning work study money)? Do you know how much is left over from WS money after she pays them? I’m not sure how that works. Also, are you saying that she will only have to take out an extra 1000 in loans to be equal to what she got from Earlham? Will St O give her more work study hours if she needs more cash? If she was going to Earlham would you be as worried?