Yes, engineering is not a field of study for students with a casual approach to academics. That said, students have reported finding a happy fit at engineering universities that hover a bit under the radar:
Worcester Polytechnic Institute
U of Rochester
Rose Hulman Institute of Technology
U of Tulsa
Texas Christian University
U of Portland
South Dakota School of Mines & Technology
Arizona State University
U of Alabama-Tuscaloosa
Colorado School of Mines
U of Maryland-Baltimore County
Kansas State University
U of Kansas
People’s personality are not screened during admissions. You will have laid back and intense persons in all schools.
I would say you should worry less about this issue and focus on some other way to narrow down the search.
PS The above suggestions about “happy fit” are a better way to think of the search criteria.
In fact my son applied and was accepted to WPI as suggested above. Was a smallish school
but people did seem about as happy as engineering students could be (which usually is not so happy).
Even if you are beyond brilliant smartest person in the world, there is nothing about going through a credible engineering program full time that can fit into “Laid Back”. The work load / assignments / homework / projects will be a difficult balancing act and there will be times you knock your head against the wall. My son is at Purdue. The students at Purdue do not discuss grades. They say “darn I have to take that one again” and “wow I am so glad I got a passing grade”.
I think the OP’s question is reasonable; the OP is asking about students, not engineering programs. For example (to pick from 2 on OP’s school list with which I’m familiar), it doesn’t take very long into a visit to notice that the student vibe at Berkeley tends toward stressed-out, and the vibe at UCSB tends toward laid-back.
“People’s personality are not screened during admissions.”
Even for schools where this is true, students screen themselves. Even for the engineering students, personalities are different at MIT vs Montana State. You can feel it the minute you set foot on campus.
Some schools do at least attempt to screen for personality. Harvard is not laid back. At all. They’re looking for kids who are human rocket ships. Type B personalities are few and far between.