For US citizens and US Permanent residents, the overwhelming number of colleges in the U.S. Are Ned blind, which means that your ability to pay will not be a factor in the admissions process. I don’t consider this to be a big deal because on the financial aid side, most colleges don’t meet 100% demonstrated need. At some schools the gap can be very small, while at others it can be very big.
As someone previously mentioned , if a school really wants your kid and your kid meets the institutional mission niche they are trying to fill, schools will definitely do preferential packaging to make themselves more attractive to you.
The other side of this coin is that there are a number of schools that will admit deny, meaning that they will academically admit you, but will not give you enough money to attend. A few years ago BU straight out stated that while they are need blind, they are not talent blind when it comes to giving out their money and will offer generous packages to the students they want.
At schools that are need aware/ need sensitive, this process usually does not kick in until toward the end of the process when they are exhausting their budget. A school will decide when it comes to similarly qualified candidates where should they spend the money; should they spend $50k funding one student or give 5 $10k merit scholarships as a way of tuition discounting 5 full pay families.
I think what you need to do as a family is have the money talk now about how much you are willing to pay or borrow for college. Then use a bottoms up approach to find the fattest schools on your list; safety schools. A true safety should meet the following criteria; a school where your child is likely to be afmitted( preferably through rolling admissions/ early action), a school that offers what your child is interested in, a school that is a financially feasible option for your family ( automatic guaranteed merit is a plus) and if it is the last school standing, your child will be happy to attend. If you can get 2/3 of these on your list ( because everyone likes having options) you are halfway there.
Then use the net price calculator but be reminded that the estimate is inky going to be as good as the information you submit. It can have great inaccuracies for divorced families. Single parent households where the school does require information from the no. Custodial parents, business owners, people who own real estate outside of their primary hone.
Most schools don’t care about agreements or court orders stating who should pay what for college. Parents are first in line when it comes to paying for their kid’s college education. When parents say no, they are essentially saying let other people’s parents pay ; full pay parents, taxpayers. Parents who contribute to their schools).