And there are a lot of athletes who believe they are committed and the coach drops them, or doesn’t play them, or the coach leaves. I think the players have to protect themselves, and the D3 system is not set up to protect the kids. If this student got coach support through ED, then that is a contract and the student is committed to the school through ED. But that’s the only commitment. If D3 wants some kind of binding commitment, they need to make a system where it is binding. Right now they don’t have that system except through ED.
I agree with you that both sides should keep their promises, but that doesn’t always happen. I know kids who went to colleges and never played a minute, either because they left the school or quit the team. Who does that help if the student is forced to go to a school and they don’t really want to play or even attend the school?
I do think the OP’s son may be happier if he embraces the Caltech acceptance and the spot on the team. Don’t worry about what might have been or what else is out there, but be happy with the opportunity offered by Caltech.
I asked the coach what the benefit was to signing the NLI in November was rather than waiting until April and she said that it made it final and there was certain relief in that. And it was true. Everything was so much calmer once she had signed.